


Harder to Breathe

by mandrs



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Light Angst, Long-Haired Eren Yeager, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Mutual Pining, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Shameless Smut, Spanking, Top Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:48:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandrs/pseuds/mandrs
Summary: Levi is living in New York City when the pandemic forces the city into a lockdown. Eren is a college student, stuck in the states with nowhere to go. That is, until Mikasa suggests that he stay with her older cousin, Levi Ackerman. Forced to live together in his small apartment, Levi realizes his old feelings for Eren never truly went away.OrThe quarantine fic that nobody asked for.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 115
Kudos: 674





	1. Falling all over again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo~  
> I saw fan art of Levi and Eren living in quarantine together and I couldn't get the cuteness of it out of my head. So from that, this fic was born. I hope you enjoy!  
> p.s. There is some German in this story. I don't speak a lick of German so please excuse me if it's atrocious. Ok. Thank you. (:

When the governor made the announcement that New York City would be undergoing strict lockdown regulations, Levi was unphased.

Going out and doing things wasn’t really his cup of tea.

He was the type of man that enjoyed quiet solitude. A good book and a hot beverage was enough to keep him occupied whenever he was home alone. Sure, he might miss going into the office, miss getting to see Erwin and Petra and god forbid, Hange, but he would make due with the isolation.

He had to.

But everything changed when he received an interesting phone call from his younger cousin, Mikasa.

He was sitting in his living room, drinking an Earl Grey and reading a new book Hange had given him when his phone buzzed angrily against his coffee table. With a grunt, he placed the book down next to him and grabbed the device, frowning when he saw it was Mikasa calling him. She rarely ever reached out. It was strange that she was doing so now.

“Hello?” he answered, putting the cool phone up to his ear. His apartment was on the colder side, which he didn’t mind so much. It made things feel cleaner, more sterile.

“Hey,” Mikasa said, her voice carrying a note of uncertainty. “I know this is unexpected, but I have a favor to ask.”

Levi froze, back tensing against the soft cushion he was sitting against. Mikasa never asked for favors. She was a self sufficient woman who took care of things on her own. “Okay?” he huffed.

“You remember Eren?” she asked. 

Of course he remembered, Eren. How could he ever forget him. The guy was a ray of sunshine that wore his heart on his sleeves. Levi had always admired the man. He was charismatic and confident, kind but headstrong. Eren was one of the only friends Mikasa had that he actually liked. It was a shame that he never got to see him now that he was living in New York and Eren was living abroad.

“Yes,” he simply muttered.

“Well, he met us in New York for spring break and because of everything that’s happening, he’s stuck here and can’t go back to Germany for school,” Mikasa explained in a soft voice.

“You were in New York and you didn’t think to visit?” Levi asked, unable to stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. _Shit._ Could that sound anymore desperate?

“Well we got here and the lockdown started so I guess it slipped my mind? I’m sorry, I honestly didn’t think you’d want to with your career and everything,” she explained rather quickly.

“I see,” Levi said, picking at the hem of his shirt. Could he really fault her for that? It’s not like he made it apparent to people that he enjoyed their company.

“Look, this is super awkward for me to ask this, but I was wondering if you’d let Eren stay with you until he can fly back home?” Mikasa’s question caught him off guard and her words stole the breath from his lung. 

Eren, stay with him? The idea sent butterflies fluttering through his stomach and he couldn’t tell if the feeling was a sudden bout of nausea or something else. The fact that the sensation manifested because he was thinking about seeing Eren again made him worry. Unconsciously, he chewed the inside of his lip. 

Okay yes, he thought the guy was good looking and his personality was bright and addicting, but he was just an acquaintance. A friend, if he was being generous with the word. That’s all they’d ever be, feelings be damned.

Before he could stop himself, his mouth answered for him. “That’s fine.”

 _Fuck_. He didn’t just say that, did he? His hands went slick with sweat and he was on his feet, pacing his apartment the instant the words left his lips. What did he mean that was fine? Eren staying here was anything but fine. To have those bright emerald eyes boring into him on a daily basis, his strong and bold presence taking up his living space, he was sure to slip up and reveal his stupid infatuation.

Suddenly, Eren’s sweet voice was brushing against his ear and his feet froze underneath him. “Thank you, Levi! You won’t regret this!”

_Yes, yes I will._

“Give me my phone back, you little shit,” Mikasa growled in the background and static came through the speaker. He could just imagine Mikasa fighting with Eren over the phone and the image made him smile.

“Right…” He cleared his throat, attempting to wipe the amused smirk from his lips. “Just don’t make a mess of things, let me do my work, and we won’t have any issues, got it?”

“You won’t even notice I’m there,” Eren said, a smile in his voice.

Not even notice Eren was there? There was no way that would be possible. He was sure that the moment he walked through his front door, he’d be hyper aware of Eren at all times. The man was impossible to ignore.

“I somehow doubt that,” he muttered into the phone.

But before Eren could respond, Mikasa took the phone, her voice full of annoyance as Eren whined in protest. “Sorry about him,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Levi said and he meant it. In all the years he had known Eren, he never minded his eccentric behavior. Sure, he could be annoying at times, but he at least went out of his way to actually talk to Levi. Unlike most of Mikasa’s friends.

“Send me your address and we’ll head over. We’re at JFK right now so I don’t know how long we’ll be.”

Panic seized him when he realized that they were coming over right away _._

“See you then,” Levi said, managing to keep his voice level. She hung up the phone and Levi just stood there for several moments, staring at the blank screen.

Shaking his head, he sent a quick text to Mikasa and took the short amount of time he had to take a quick shower and straighten up his apartment. By the time he was done, his hair was completely dry and everything was spotless, just how he liked it.

A hard knock drew his attention and he slowly made his way over to the door, nerves coursing through his veins. _Fuck._ What was he getting himself into?

He opened the door and was greeted by the steely gaze of his cousin, followed by Armin’s warm smile. Lastly, his eyes landed on Eren and every nerve in his body was set on fire. He hadn’t seen the guy in over a year and his time away did wonders for his look.

If it was even possible, he seemed taller and broader than he remembered. It was evident in the strong outline of his shoulders that he had been working out more. Especially because his dark green t-shirt and black slim fit sweatpants did little to hide the strong muscular tone of his body. His usually scruffy brown hair hung loosely around his shoulders and a small hoop ring pierced his nose. There was a handmade threaded bracelet with bright colors tied around one wrist, while the other wrist was marked with the ending of a hidden tattoo. But what really caught his attention was the brightness of his shining green eyes.

To have said he looked good would be a massive understatement. He looked damn near incredible.

“Hey,” Mikasa greeted him, pulling his attention away from Eren.

“Come in,” he said, holding open the door. With all the determination he could muster, Levi tried to suppress the nervous energy bouncing around inside of him, wiping every trace of emotion off of his face.

“Nice place,” Eren breathed as he stood in the entrance, looking out at the open apartment.

A small amount of pride swirled in his chest at the compliment. Levi had worked hard to get to where he was in life and this apartment was something he was fond of. It was in a well to do part of the city and the open floor plan and white walls made the space feel bigger than it really was. The many different bookshelves stuffed with his color coordinated books and house plants gave the apartment a nice, homey feel.

“Thanks,” Levi muttered, leading the trio into the living room.

“We won’t be able to stay for too long,” Mikasa explained, sitting down on the sofa. “I have to get back to work tomorrow and we still have a long drive back home.”

Levi nodded, flicking his gaze over to Eren once again. He sat casually between Mikasa and Armin looking far too comfortable for his own good.

“Do you guys want some tea or coffee?” he asked.

“Coffee would be great,” Mikasa said and Eren nodded in agreement.

He went into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee. Alone, he leaned against the countertop and attempted to calm his nerves with several deep breaths. Truth be told, Levi had never experienced this kind of reaction to another person before. In all of his twenty-six years he had never found another man or woman that caught his attention like Eren had when they first met at Mikasa’s childhood home.

But Eren had been in high school when they first met, and he’d been in college. Their age difference at the time had always kept him from getting too close to the kid. And on top of that, Eren was immensely popular and had new partners every couple of months while Levi had no experience with romance whatsoever. He wouldn't even know how to initiate something like that.

The coffee machine beeped, indicating it was ready to go. Levi poured four cups and brought them to the living room, passing them out to the trio sitting on his couch. They drank their beverages while the three of them talked about their time spent in NYC. They unfortunately were unable to do much before the lockdown went into effect but they managed to have fun regardless.

When it was time for them to leave, Eren walked them to the door and gave them both a long embrace. 

“I’m gonna miss you guys,” he admitted with a sad smile and Levi felt for him. He didn't have many friends himself, but the few friends he did make had gotten married and moved to France nearly two years ago. He still kept in touch with Isabel and Farlan whenever he could spare a moment, but he still missed them all the same.

“Likewise,” Mikasa muttered into his shirt. She pulled back from him and gave him a weak smile. “Be good. And come visit us over the summer.”

“Yeah, try not to go the whole year without coming home again,” Armin admonished.

“We’ll see,” Eren laughed but there wasn’t any humor in the sound. It made Levi wonder. He knew that he had been unhappy back home, Mikasa often made comments about his dad being an asshole, which was part of the reason he decided to study abroad. But outside of that, he didn’t know much about what had happened back in their hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

“Bye Eren,” Mikasa said. She turned her gaze onto Levi, who was quietly watching several feet away as he leaned against his couch. A rare smile soften her usually hard eyes. “Thanks Levi, for taking this little shit in until he can go back to school.”

“Don’t mention it,” Levi nodded.

Mikasa and Armin left, leaving him all alone with Eren. The brunette turned to him, his hard emerald gaze pinning him against the back of the couch. Warmth spread underneath his skin and he had to force himself to look away from his intense stare.

“C’mon, I’ll show you around,” he huffed, beckoning Eren to follow him. 

It was a modest apartment with a wide open living area that allowed full view of the entire floor plan, so there really wasn’t much to see. The kitchen was separated by a wide island and a small dining table sat adjacent to it, situated perfectly in front of a large window that looked over the city below. At the other end, there was a small alcove that had three doors leading to the master bedroom, his office, and the bathroom.

“I don’t have a second bedroom,” Levi explained with a frown as he led Eren over to the mini-hallway. The door to his office was wide open, revealing a room with a large window, several succulents lined the sill and the smell of books permeated the room. It was his ideal work area, his little sanctuary. This room was where he got his best work done, where the creative juices flowed from pen to paper. 

The only downfall of turning the second bedroom into his office was now he had nowhere for Eren to sleep. “I hope you’re okay sleeping on the couch.”

“It’s no problem,” Eren smiled.

Levi blinked at the brightness of his smile, slightly stunned when he spotted something silver flash against his tongue. Of course he would have his tongue pierced. It fit his whole free-spirited aesthetic he had going on.

Nodding, he turned away, trying his best not to stare at Eren’s mouth. “Good. You can keep your things in the bathroom. There’s a small closet next to the washer and dryer where you can hang up your clothes.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d like to wash some of my things. I didn’t bring a lot with me,” he explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

Levi looked down at the small duffel slung over his shoulder and frowned. If he was stuck here for several weeks, he didn’t have nearly enough to get by in that bag. Being a college student, he probably didn’t have a lot of money to spend on clothing and the like. He wondered if he should offer his assistance in that regard but quickly pushed the idea away. 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

Eren disappeared into the bathroom and for the first time, Levi felt like he could breathe again. Alone in his living room, he sat down on the couch and picked up the book Hange had sent him earlier that week. He flipped to the place he left off and read a couple of paragraphs before Eren’s voice drew him back to reality.

“Hey Levi?” he asked, popping his head out from the bathroom as he shyly bit his lip. “Where’s the detergent?”

Without a word, he snapped his book shut, placed it on the coffee table, and went into the small bathroom. Standing close to Eren, he could feel his body heat radiating against his skin. Ignoring the intrusive flush spreading across his cheeks, he bent over to hide his face in the closet and pulled out the bottle of detergent.

When he straightened back out and looked over at Eren, his emerald eyes were wider than normal and his lips parted ever so slightly. 

“Here,” Levi gruffed, passing the bottle to him. Their fingers accidently brushed together, leaving behind a trail of fire on his skin.

Quickly looking away, he stepped out of the bathroom, letting the cool air of the living room ground him. He returned to his book, ignoring the perilous feeling coiling in his gut. Letting Eren stay here was going to be more of a challenge than he originally anticipated.

After several minutes passed, Eren returned to the living room and plopped down unceremoniously next to him, leaving only a few inches between them. Levi looked at all the space the couch offered and then looked at Eren, raising a curious brow at the brunette.

Eren ignored the questioning look, turning his body several degrees to get a better look at Levi. “So how are you liking the city?”

Realizing Eren was going to press for conversation, he shut the book in his lap and let it lay lazily against his thigh. “It’s okay as long as you don’t mind all the people,” he shrugged.

For whatever reason, Eren thought that was funny. He laughed and the sound was like music against his ears. “I’m sorry Levi, but you don’t really seem the type to want to be around a lot of people.”

“You’re right,” he bristled, frowning as he looked down at his lap. Being in New York allowed him to pursue his creative pursuits, but it also meant being surrounded by millions of people at all times. If it wasn’t for the quiet sanctuary of his apartment, he probably would’ve gone mad by now.

“It can’t be all that bad,” Eren pressed. “I’m sure you’ve met some interesting people? Maybe made some friends?”

He thought of his boss, Erwin and his colleagues, Hange and Petra. They went out sometimes after work, but he never really considered them _friends_. They were okay company. “I suppose,” he shrugged.

Silence hung over them and Levi was consciously aware of how close Eren was to him. The close proximity made him uncomfortable as he racked his brain for something to fill the space. 

“You hungry?” he decided on saying, peaking at Eren from the corner of his eye. 

He nodded, a big smile curving his full lips. It took everything inside of him not to return that contagious grin.

“There’s a pretty decent deli nearby that delivers here. I can order us something,” he said, pulling out his phone. They went through the menu together and Eren leaned over him, their shoulders gently pressing into each other. His warm breath fanned against his cheek, making his heart race against his chest. Once the order was submitted, Eren finally put some space between them which he was thankful for. He could actually think straight again.

The food arrived and Levi insisted that they sit at the table. “I don’t trust you,” he eyed Eren skeptically. “You’ll get something on the couch.

Eren gaped, pretending offense. “I’m not _that_ big of a slob.”

“I’ve seen you eat before. It’s disgusting,” he said, a playful smirk threatening to break his neutral expression. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hold back his amusement.

Relenting with a dramatic groan, Eren sat down at the table across from Levi.

“Are you liking school abroad?” Levi asked.

“Yes,” Eren beamed, placing his sandwich back down on his plate. “Everything is so different in Germany. It’s like a breath of fresh air.”

“Is communicating difficult?” he asked, looking down at his food. He cut a small piece of his sandwich off with his knife. Most people would have commented on this relatively odd behavior, but Eren ignored it.

“Not at all. Most people speak English, actually,” he explained between a bite. “But I’ve been there almost a year so I’ve learned quite a bit of German. I’m actually almost fluent.”

“Really?” Levi asked, surprised. Call him curious, but he wanted to hear Eren talk in a foreign language. “Say something.”

Eren pursed his lips, taking a second to think. “Du bist wunderschön,” he said, the foreign words dancing off of his smooth tongue. He had no idea what he said, but the harsh words sounded weird coming out of Eren’s mouth.

“Such an ugly sounding language,” Levi said, shaking his head. German wasn’t romantic sounding like French or Italian, it was too brash and angry.

“No it’s not,” Eren scowled, almost sounding offended. 

“Maybe it’s just you, then,” Levi teased, peering up at Eren through his lashes.

“Har har,” Eren rolled his eyes. “The guys at college seem to like it when I talk German to them.”

Levi stopped chewing, his hand instinctively tightening around the knife in his hand. The thought of Eren whispering dirty words in German to other men made his eye twitch in irritation. He swallowed hard. “Is that so?”

A playful smile pulled at the brunette’s lips and he leaned over the table, his face mere inches from Levi’s. “Ich wette, Du wüßtest gerne, was ich sage, richtig?” he said in a low, seductive tone.

His breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t move. Emerald eyes bore into his and he felt trapped in his own skin. He instinctively licked his lips as a clawing desire aroused his core.

He cleared his throat. “I guess I see the appeal," he said, his voice coming out low and hoarse. _Fuck_ , he hated his vocal cords for failing him.

“Right?” A slow smile crept onto his face as Eren suggestively bit at his lower lip.

God, what Levi would give to bite that lip for him.

Shocked by the sudden thought, he silently cursed his dirty fucking mind.

Tense silence enveloped them as they ate their food and Levi unconsciously bounced his leg underneath the table. A sudden, nagging thought came rushing into his mind and he couldn't stop it from leaving his mouth. “How long do you think you’ll be here?”

“I’m not sure,” Eren frowned, sinking slightly into his seat. He looked down at his food, picking absently at it with his fingers. Levi wanted to tell him to stop playing with his food but held his tongue. He didn't want to come off as more crazy than he already felt. “If things end up being longer than a couple weeks, I can always go back to Grand Rapids.”

Sensing Eren’s reluctance, he realized he didn't want to go home anytime soon, if ever. Levi didn’t mind Eren staying with him for a week or two, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle him for longer than that. Being around the daring extrovert was confusing and emotionally draining. And after being apart for a whole year, he had forgotten how much of an effect the brunette had on him. But at the same time, he didn’t want to send him back to a place he had no desire to return to.

Levi hummed, mostly to himself. It was quite the catch twenty two.

“Are you working from home now?” Eren asked, changing the subject as Levi started to clean up their dinner. Eren suddenly jumped up and started helping him carry the dirty plates and trash into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” he said, turning his back to him to hide the faint smile betraying his lips. Eren’s determination to help was endearing to say the least. Ignoring the pleased warmth rising in his chest, he turned on the water and rinsed the plates before sticking them right into the dishwasher.

“What do you do, anyway? You never said.”

“I’m an editor,” Levi said, turning the water off. He dried his hands on a clean dishcloth.

“Oooh,” Eren drawled. “So you get to read all the new books before they get published. Do you like it?”

Levi turned to look at him, considering the question. Did he like his job? Yes, he loved it. He was able to read all day and work with like minded people who had interests that lined up with his own. But he didn’t want to bore Eren with all of that, so he simply shrugged and said, “It’s alright.”

“That explains all the books,” he hummed next to him.

“I like to read.”

“I remember,” Eren said with a toothy grin. “I never understood how you could concentrate on your books when Mikasa, Armin and I would be screaming at each other, playing Mario Kart.”

“I’ve learned to tune you out,” he teased, heading back into the living room.

Eren chuckled, following at his heel. “What are you reading right now?”

He picked up the book and handed it to Eren. “Turtles All the Way Down,” he read out loud, flipping the cover over to read the description.

Hange had given him the book because the protagonist apparently reminded her of him. A part of him wanted to be annoyed by that, but he did find a certain relatability with the young girl. “It’s… interesting,” he said, struggling to find an adjective to describe the novel. “Relatable, I guess.”

Eren hummed, handing the book back to Levi and sat down on the couch.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Levi asked, putting the book back in its spot and reaching for the remote.

“Sure!” Eren plopped down on the other end of the couch. He considered whether he should sit next to him or not. His rational side told him it’d be wise to put space between them, but he wanted to be close to Eren. Giving in to his desire, he sat down next to the brunette, leaving several inches of space between them. The warmth of his body heat felt good against his cold skin.

After getting situated, he turned on the SmartTV and switched over to the Netflix app. He started to flip through the various movies and shows. They argued over what to watch until they finally settled on Shawshank Redemption.

At some point in the movie, Levi had drifted off. He wasn’t aware he had fallen asleep until Eren abruptly stood up. Jolting awake, he softly gasped, rubbing at his sleep heavy eyes as an embarrassed heat warmed his cheeks.

“Shit,” he said, turning his head to hide his heated expression. “Sorry.”

“No worries,” Eren said with a smile in his voice. 

Levi rose quickly from the couch and made his way into the kitchen. Turning on the tap, he got himself a glass of water and drank it down. Falling asleep in front of Eren made him feel exposed and he crossed his arms over his chest, hiding himself from no one in particular. 

It took several minutes of standing in front of the sink, taking deep breaths, before he finally regained his composure. But when he returned to the living room, Eren was nowhere to be seen. A faint noise came from the bathroom and Levi took the opportunity to steal away into his bedroom so he could figure out what the hell was going on. He closed the door behind him and sat down on his bed. 

He reached for his phone and considered who he could possibly talk to about this predicament. Looking at the time stamp in the corner of the screen, he realized it was way too late to text Isabel or Farlan. There were always his work acquaintances he could reach out to…

But Erwin didn’t seem the romantic advice type of guy and Hange was bat shit crazy. Petra was the only ‘friend’ he had that could likely help him make sense of this.

He pulled up their text thread and sent a quick message.

 **Levi 9:34 -** I have a problem.

He didn’t expect Petra to text back right away so he set his phone off to the side and decided to change into his evening clothes. He ditched the blue jeans, trading them out for a pair of dark grey sweatpants that hung loose on his hips and changed into a fresh t-shirt. The dirty clothes were put straight into the hamper. 

When he looked back at his phone, there was an unread message waiting for him.

 **Petra 9:36 -** OMG is the infamous Levi asking for advice?

Levi frowned at his phone, regretting his decision already.

 **Levi 9:39 -** Fuck this. Nevermind.

 **Petra 9:40 -** WAIT NO! Tell me what ur problem is. I want to help!

He weighed his options, wondering if this was the right move to make. When it came to relationships, Levi was a novice and desperately needed help. However putting himself out there and asking for help made him really uncomfortable.

If he felt exposed before, he felt even more exposed now. Groaning to nobody but himself, he wrapped his comforter around his shoulders and hid underneath the warm blanket.

 **Levi 9:45 -** There is an attractive man in my apartment and I don’t know what to do.

 **Petra 9:46 -** Wait. hold up. Ur gay?

 _Damnit_. This was exactly why he didn't want to do this. Talking about himself like this always managed to stir up anxiety in his chest. He felt like such an idiot for even bringing this up. But now that it’s out there, it’s highly unlikely Petra will simply drop it.

 **Levi 9:47 -** Fuck if I know.

 **Petra 9:49 -** Omg Levi this is huge. I’m so happy for you!

He sighed, tapping his finger impatiently against the side of his phone.

 **Levi 9:51 -** Well you shouldn’t be. I’m confused as fuck.

 **Petra 9:52 -** Okkkk well what is he doing in ur apartment?

 **Levi 9:53 -** His flight overseas got cancelled. He’s staying with me for the time being.

 **Petra 9:55 -** Seriously?! Do you know this guy?

 **Levi 9:56 -** He’s a friend from back home.

 **Petra 9:57 -** And is *he* gay?

Levi snorted at his phone.

 **Levi 9:57 -** Very

 **Petra 9:58 -** Yaaas! Levi you gotta make a move!

His fingers froze over the keyboard, his mind unable to comprehend how to even do that. Making a move was not in the repertoire of things he knew.

 **Levi 10:00 -** I can’t

 **Petra 10:01 -** What? Why not?

Good question. It played on repeat in his head as he stared down at her simple text message. After several minutes passed, he finally typed out the most pressing issue.

 **Levi 10:05 -** I don't think he likes me like that.

 **Petra 10:07 -** if he's gay and can stand being alone with you for an extended period of time, then he totally likes you.

 **Levi 10:09 -** what the fuck do you mean by that.

 **Petra 10:10 -** I meeeean not everyone can handle your… unique personality. And if he is able to handle you, then he definitely wants your sweat ass.

 **Levi 10:11 -** What the fuck?

 **Petra 10:12 -** What?! you're hot!

Sighing, he fell back onto his bed and cursed himself for being so socially inept. This fucking sucked.

 **Levi 10:15 -** So what do I do?

 **Petra 10:17 -** Just feel it out. See if he sends you any signs that he's interested. He probably has no idea you're into guys so he's trying to play it cool until you give him a sign or something.

The condescending part of his brain told him that was bullshit, but he briefly entertained the idea. He really wanted Eren to be interested in him. Huffing to himself, he sent her a curt reply.

 **Levi 10:19 -** Fine.

 **Petra 10:20 -** Oooh Levi this is so exciting! Please keep me updated!

At that, he put his phone down and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about all the little interactions he’d shared with Eren since he arrived. His mind goes back to their dinner, where Eren had leaned over the table and seductively murmured to him in a foreign language. Just thinking about how his tongue had formed each syllable, his low voice purring softly in his ear made him hot with desire.

 _Fuck_. 

But that's just how Eren was with everyone, right? He was a flirt, and he was damn good at it. There was no way in hell he had any interest in Levi. Eren was fun and outgoing while Levi was reclusive and cold. He had to have been messing around with him. There’s no other explanation for his flirtatious behavior.

He laid there for several moments, drowning in his own thoughts before he peeled himself from the bed in search for a spare blanket and pillow. In his closet he found two fleece blankets but there weren’t any extra pillows. With a sigh, he took one of the pillows off of his bed. Scooping everything into his arms, he opened his door and returned to the living room.

Eren was laying back against the armrest of the couch, his knees bent with his phone in his lap. Laughing at his phone, he didn’t even notice Levi approaching him.

“What’s so funny?” Levi asked, placing the blankets and pillows next to Eren’s feet.

Eren finally looked up at him, a smile still lingering on his lips. As soon as green met grey, Eren's eyes widened ever so slightly. He slowly licked his lips and said, “Just my friends from school being assholes."

Levi hummed, tucking his hands into his pockets. Seeing Eren casually making himself at home in his living room gave him a strange sense of comfort. Maybe he had been overreacting before. Maybe he could handle this after all. 

“I’m going to bed, I have to get up early for work,” he said, feeling more reassured with the situation as he started to turn away. He looked once more over his shoulder, wanting to soak up as much of Eren’s presence as possible before he slipped off to bed. “Need anything?”

“No, I’m good,” Eren smiled reassuringly. It made Levi want to smile in return. Instead, he pressed his lips together. “Thanks again, Levi. For everything.”

“Sure,” he said with a nod, heading back to his room for the night. Just before he closed the door, he snuck one final look at Eren and muttered a soft, “Goodnight.”

Eren looked up quickly from his phone. “Goodnight,” he breathed, his low voice barely above a whisper.

With that, he closed the door with a soft click and leaned up against it. Pressing his head against the sturdy wood, he cursed at himself for letting his old feelings resurface so easily. Without a doubt in his mind, he knew he was falling for Eren Jaeger all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Du bist wunderschön - You are beautiful  
> Ich wette, Du wüßtest gerne, was ich sage, richtig? - I bet you wish you knew what I was saying, don't you?  
> Or supposedly that's what that means. Correct me if I'm wrong. Sorry native German speakers for butchering your beautiful language!  
> Thank you for reading - Kudos and comments are much appreciated!
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri scenes (:


	2. fuck feelings

Levi woke up to the harsh buzzing of his phone against the bedside table. Begrudgingly, he dismissed the alarm and rubbed at his eyes, willing the lingering images of his dream to go the fuck away. 

Of course, they didn’t listen.

As the unbidden memory of his dream came rushing back, his intruding erection pressed uncomfortably against his sweatpants. Once again, he cursed his dirty mind for teasing him with thoughts of green eyes and warm hands, smooth lips, and soft brown hair lacing easily between his fingers tips. With a frustrated groan, he threw back the covers and got up from the warm comfort of his bed.

Exposed to the cold air of his apartment, his skin prickled with uneasiness and he suddenly felt very unclean. A compulsive need to wash himself of his dirty thoughts clawed at his chest and he desperately wanted a shower. Opening his door, he peeked into the living room to see if Eren was awake yet.

Much to his relief, he was not.

Eren slept peacefully on the couch, the right side of his face buried into  _ his  _ pillow. The fleece blanket he had given him was kicked off to the side and his arm was haphazardly strewn above his head. The position would’ve been innocent enough, but his shirt was lifted off of his stomach, revealing smooth, tan skin stretching over a pronounced hip bone.

He wanted nothing more than to run his hands over the exposed skin, to revel in his warmth. The thought caused his lingering erection to twitch against his leg. 

_ Goddammit.  _

Not wanting Eren to wake up to him staring like a creep, he hurried into the bathroom.

The shower was hot and it scalded his skin. He scrubbed angrily at his body, trying desperately to remove the filth that covered him. But even as he rubbed his skin to the point of redness, he was still burning with unbidden desire, his cock hard and straining.

No matter how much he tried to forget the arousal coiling in his core, he couldn’t. It wasn’t fucking going away.

He pressed his forehead against the cool tiled wall and took several shaky breaths before taking his throbbing length into his hand. Stroking himself slowly at first, he had to bite his lip to suppress a pleased groan. He allowed himself to imagine intense green eyes pinning him down while Eren’s husky voice whispered foreign words into his ear, his warm strong hands grabbing desperately at his skin. At each tempting thought, an ungodly pressure built up in his core and he wanted—no  _ needed— _ more.

Levi’s hand slapped against the wet wall, holding himself up as his legs quaked with pleasure. Each hasty pump of his cock made his head spin and his heart raced against his chest. He grits his teeth, trying desperately to hold back the moan that threatened to slip from his mouth as he neared his climax.

_ God _ , what he would give to feel Eren’s slick tongue lapping up his length, that forsaken piercing teasing the sensitive skin on his tip. The image was so fucking enticing and he couldn’t stop picturing it as it took him to his climax.

He came hard and fast, the building pressure releasing onto the shower floor. With his breath coming out hard and ragged, he leaned against the wet tiles, letting the hot water wash away the evidence of his arousal.

_ Fucking hell.  _ He felt filthy all over again. 

Determined to get himself clean, he scrubbed himself until the water turned cold. As he stood under the cold pellets, he fought desperately against the anxious thoughts brewing in the back of his mind that told him he was dirty for thinking of Eren while he jerked off. 

Ignoring the toxic thoughts, he let himself sit under the cold water for several minutes, letting it cool down his bright red skin, making him shiver. For the first time all morning, he finally felt clean. He turned off the water and quickly dried himself off, quietly returning to his bedroom.

The clock on his nightstand read 7:34 AM. Despite his long shower, he still had some time before he had to log on to work. He dressed quickly, pulling on a clean black shirt and dark grey pants. Finishing his morning ritual, he made his way into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee.

Eren was still sound asleep on the couch, the soft done of his breathing reaching him in the kitchen. Despite the raw anxiety he felt that morning, the sound did something to calm the storm that had been brewing inside of him. Feeling more at ease, he washed his hands and started making breakfast.

Once everything was done, he plated up the eggs, bacon, and toast, carefully arranging it so nothing was touching.

“Hey,” Eren said, his soft voice breaking through his concentration. Looking up to meet his gaze, he’s momentarily dazed by his beauty. Instead of his usual unkempt look, Eren’s hair is pulled back into a bun and several loose strands frame his bright, smiling expression.

“Hungry?” He poured them two cups of coffee and pushed one of the full plates towards Eren.

“Yes, thank you.”

Before he started eating, he pushed up the sleeves of his sweatshirt, revealing an intricate collage of shapes and ink forever etched into tan skin. The dark ink had hints of green mixed with blue and it created an image of a snarling wolf’s head melding into a dark, forest landscape. The cuff of the sweatshirt kept him from figuring out what the rest of the sleeve looked like and he silently wished he could remove the damn piece of clothing.

They sat in comfortable silence as they ate their breakfast and Levi kept sneaking glances at Eren, trying to forget the sexual fantasies that plagued his mind all morning. He wished for something to distract him, wishing Eren would say something, anything, to take his mind off of Levi’s clawing desire to reach out and touch him.

But he never did. So, Levi grasped at the first thing he could think of to fill the silence.

“I like your hair like that," Levi said. As soon as the awkward words left his lips, he regretted them. He was shit at giving compliments.

“Really?” Eren perked up, a toothy smile brightening his eyes. Levi decided he didn’t regret the compliment as much if it meant seeing him light up like  _ that.  _ “Mikasa says I look like a hobo.”

Levi snorted. “That’s a fitting comparison.”

Eren set his fork down with a clank and his brows pulled down with a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Okay, maybe he regretted the compliment just a little bit.

“You’ve always been a little wild, I guess,” Levi shrugged. He refused to look at Eren’s intense stare, pushing around a piece of bacon with his fork. God, he was uncomfortable. “You just look… a lot freer since the last time I saw you.”

When he finally found the courage to look up at Eren, there was a mild surprise widening his eyes. 

He reached for his coffee and took a long sip. “Yeah." A soft pink dusted his cheeks. “I guess it’s because I am.”

Levi nodded his understanding. “Leaving was good for you.” It wasn’t a question, just a simple observation. It wasn’t just Eren’s appearance that changed when he left home, it was his whole outlook on life.

“It was."

Levi didn’t know what else he could say without prying into Eren’s past, so he let the conversation drop. If he didn’t want to talk about it, he wasn’t going to push the subject. 

Turning around, he checked the time on the microwave. 7:55 AM. He had five minutes before he had to technically ‘clock-in’. With a huff, he pushed away from the countertop, bringing their dirty plates over to the sink.

“Let me do it,” Eren said, grabbing hold of his wrist as he reached for the dirty pan on the stovetop. His grip was firm and hot against his skin, the warm sensation reminding him of his dream—Eren grabbing wildly at his skin, refusing to let him go. The heat of the memory combined with Eren’s closeness made him tense. It was suddenly very difficult to breathe.

Eren chuckled nervously. “You have work to do and I’m freeloading like a hobo. Let me take care of the cleaning,” he said, finally letting go of his wrist.

Levi stood frozen in place, weighing those words in his head. Was he just being nice, or was there something more to the gesture? Either way, he wasn’t sure he trusted Eren to meet his standards of cleanliness. But when he met Eren’s gaze, he found fiery determination that weakened his already flimsy resolve. “Fine,” he said, letting go of the pan. “But you better not half-ass it.”

“I won’t," he smiled, triumphant.

Reluctantly, he left Eren to tend to the cleaning and Levi went into his office, closing the door behind him. He turned on his computer and it quickly booted to life, blue light illuminating the dim room. The sky outside was overcast but Levi couldn’t be asked to turn on the light. Sitting in the shadows suited him just fine.

When he logged into his company profile, he was immediately bombarded with a message from Petra.

**Petra 8:02 -** Good morning, Levi! Any updates?

**Levi 8:03 -** Yes. Your book is shit. Send me a new draft of chapter 4.

**Petra 8:04 -** Ugh. Noooo, silly. I meant with your boy!?!

**Levi 8:05 -** We’re not talking about that during work.

**Petra 8:06 -** Awww c’mon brooo. You’re no fun! :(

**Levi 8:07 -** I never said I was.

**Levi 8:09 -** Seriously though. Redo chapter 4. It’s ass.

**Petra 8:10 -** We’re no longer friends.

Levi smirked at his computer and shook his head. Petra could be so dramatic sometimes. Closing out of the messenger, he opened his e-mail and found a new assignment Erwin had sent him. He clicked it open and read through the brief instructions. It  _ looked  _ easy enough.

It was anything but.

The task was much more complicated than he anticipated. Before he knew it, he had spent several hours trying to figure out how to accomplish the damn thing while trying to use the shit virtual set-up his company had managed to throw together at the last second.

He was just about fed up when a new message popped up at the corner of his screen.

**Hange 11:46 -** Sup shortyyy! I heard the good word that you want to tickle someone’s pickle?!

_ What. _

He clicked away from Hange’s tab, opening a new conversation with Petra.

**Levi 11:47 -** What the fuck did you do.

**Petra 11:48 -** I revised the chapter, just like you asked.

**Levi 11:49 -** You fucking told Hange.

**Petra 11:49 -** I thought we weren’t talking about this at work?

**Levi 11:50 -** You’re lucky we’re in lockdown because I could strangle you right now.

**Petra 11:50 -** LOL

**Petra 11:51 -** I bet I’m not the only one you wanna strangle ;)

**Levi 11:51 -** I will end you.

**Petra 11:52 -** Aww Levi, honey, don’t be mad. Maybe Hange can give you some advice! She didn’t come out until her mid-twenties either.

**Levi 11:53 -** Fuck that. I’ve read shitty glasses attempts at romance. She wouldn’t know love if it hit her in the face.

**Petra 11:54 -** oooooh~~ so this is  _ LOVE _ then?

**Levi 11:55 -** No. Shut the fuck up.

**Petra 11:56 -** <3 Aww Levi’s in love <3

**Levi 11:56 -** Fuck you.

With an annoyed growl, he closed her tab and switched over to Hange, her obnoxious message staring him in the face. 

**Hange 11:46 -** Sup shortyyy! I heard the good word that you want to tickle someone’s pickle.

**Levi 11:57 -** Ever utter those words again, four-eyes, and I will destroy your career.

**Hange 11:58 -** You’d do no such things. My fans would riot!

**Levi 11:59 -** What fans?

**Hange 12:00 -** Shoot you’re right! I NEED FANS. Why didn’t I do that damn book signing back in February??

**Levi 12:01 -** Nobody would’ve come

**Hange 12:01 -** You’re never going to get laid with that attitude, Mr grumpy pants.

**Levi 12:02 -** I’m not talking to you about this.

**Hange 12:02 -** Yes you are! You’re talking to me about it right now!

**Levi 12:03 -** No I’m not.

And with that he signed out, sighing heavily at his screen. Asking Petra for advice had been a mistake. Fuck his so-called friends for being so annoying.

Momentarily wrapped up in his thoughts, he had forgotten that Eren was sharing his space. When he opened the door and spotted him lounging on the couch watching TV, he stopped mid-stride and stared.

Eren sat up, greeting him with a warm smile.

“I’m going to have some lunch. Want some?” he asked, heading toward the kitchen.

“Sure!” He got up, pausing whatever show he had been watching.

Levi washed his hands, consciously aware of Eren hovering behind him. “How’s work?” he asked.

An unbidden frown pulled at his mouth as he recalled Petra and Hange pestering him about his non-existent love life. “Annoying,” he muttered, rummaging through the fridge for something to make.

Eren softly hummed behind him as Levi pulled out several ingredients for a quick and easy stir-fry. “Can I help you?” Eren asked, eyeing the vegetables that needed chopping.

Levi eyed him warily, he’d never cooked with someone else before. It was always something he did on his own, a calming task that allowed him the time to quietly contemplate. To share that experience with someone else felt strange, but when Eren flashed him that winning smile, he found it impossible to refuse him. 

“Okay.”

He set out two cutting boards and knives and Eren reached for one, stirring up fierce anxiety in his chest. Instinctively, he slapped away Eren’s dirty hand. “Jesus Eren, go fucking wash your hands first."

“My bad,” Eren mumbled, smiling sheepishly.

He walked over to the sink and turned the water on. Using the noise of the running water to drown out the sound of his rising panic, he took several deep breaths in an attempt to steady himself.

When he returned to Levi’s side, he was much calmer and he was able to look Eren evenly in the eye. He started to julienne an onion while Eren worked on slicing up a green pepper. The slices were extremely uneven and it looked like he was about to chop off his finger with the way he was holding the blade.

“Have you ever cut a vegetable in your life?” Levi asked, setting his knife down next to the neatly sliced onion. 

“Uhhh yeah. What’s wrong with it? Looks fine to me.”

“You’re going to chop off your finger cutting it like that."

Before he could rationalize what he was doing, he was grabbing hold of Eren’s hands. They were much bigger than his, he noted with a frown, and they felt hot against his cold skin. Ignoring the fluttering in his stomach as he pressed his fingers into his, he showed him how to hold the knife with one hand while securing the vegetable with the other.

“Hold the knife like that and rock it back and forth,” he explained, aware of Eren’s intense stare boring down on him. The weight of it made his skin prickle. “You don’t need to lift the blade off the board every time you slice the pepper."

When Levi finally looked up at Eren, he was taken back by how close their faces were to each other. The breath in his lungs escaped him and he lost himself in those green, green eyes. After a moment, he realized he was still holding onto Eren’s hands and he quickly let go. He tore his gaze away, finding the chopped onions particularly interesting as he tried to find his breath again.

Next to him, Eren made a small, frustrated noise in the back of his throat. Levi looked at the brunette, spotting a deep frown creasing his brow.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Eren said, a soft blush creeping onto his face. It was such a beautiful color and he couldn’t stop himself from staring at it.

What he’d give to know what was going through Eren’s head.

“Why was work annoying?” Eren asked, abruptly changing the subject.

Pulling his gaze away from that interesting blush, Levi focused on prepping their meal, crushing a garlic clove with the blunt end of his blade. “We’re not set up to work remotely. It’s just a lot of figuring out how I’m supposed to do my job,” he said, half lying. That was just a minor problem in the grand scheme of things.

“I get it,” Eren said as he finished slicing up his pepper. The new slices are a lot more even than his first attempts. At least he’s a quick learner. “My school still doesn’t know what they’re going to do. The semester starts back up on Monday and they’re talking about going all online.”

“That’s good news for you, isn’t it?” 

“I guess. I can still attend my classes while I’m stuck here,” Eren said, biting his lip. Levi loved seeing Eren’s lip being teased between those perfect teeth, but he also hated it because it seemed to always stir up a primitive desire deep down inside of him. 

“But I don’t know how they’re going to make my classes all virtual. For the most part, they’re all hands-on courses. I’m not nearly motivated enough to do the whole online thing.”

“What are you studying?” 

“I’m majoring in environmental science,” he said, bringing the chopped vegetables over to the stove while Levi started boiling the rice.

Levi hummed in tandem with the sizzle of the pan. “I can see why online would be difficult. Are most of your classes labs?”

“Pretty much, yeah. We have to do a lot of work in the field, collecting samples, creating habitats, conducting experiments, all that good stuff.”

“I never took you for being smart,” Levi said, aware of how brash the comment sounded. He didn’t mean for it to come off that way. In fact, he was quite impressed by his academic pursuits. Luckily Eren understood him better than most.

“I’m not.” He laughed, leaning casually against the counter. “To be honest, I spend more time socializing than I do studying. But I like what I’m doing, so I’ve managed to maintain good enough grades to stay in the program.”

“That seems more like you. Back home, you always made it a point to talk to everyone.”

“Yeah, that’s not really changed.”

“That’s good,” Levi said, a rare smile curve his lip.

“You don’t mind that about me? Most people think I’m annoying."

He shook his head, looking over at Eren. He was biting that damn lip of his again. 

“Aside from Mikasa, you were the only one back home who had the nerve to talk to me.”

“That’s funny because I always thought you hated how much I tried to talk to you,” Eren finally admitted with a sheepish grin.

Levi shrugged, a playful smirk twitching his lip. “I mean, you are pretty annoying.”

“Take that back,” Eren demanded, returning his smile. When he didn’t say anything, Eren leaned in closer, his hot breath fanning across Levi’s lips. “You just can’t handle me.”

A palpable tension hung heavily in the air and Levi momentarily forgot what he was doing. He was pinned against the stovetop by intensely deep, green eyes and it was impossible to look away. 

“I can handle you just fine,” he lied. Every nerve in his body was set aflame by Eren’s proximity and Levi wanted nothing more than to close the short space between them and finally get a taste of his lips. 

“We’ll see," Eren said, low and sensual, sending a shiver down his spine. 

_ Fuck _ . How was it even possible to be so damn sexy? If Eren kept going like that, Levi was done for. He’d be absolutely and one hundred percent outed.

Suddenly, a warm hand pressed against his jaw, and rough fingers drew his attention up to Eren’s mouth, lips parted and so damn close.

Panic quickly gripped his chest, and he realized as much as he wanted it, he couldn’t do it. Despite Eren laying out signs and signals, perfectly setting him up to make a move, he couldn’t close the gap between their lips.

His innate instinct to guard himself against the foreign emotions brewing in his heart drove him to grab Eren’s wrist, forcefully pushing his hand away from his face. He quickly turned away from Eren, hiding the flush that was burning his cheeks and the arousal tightening in his pants.

“Foods done,” Levi said abruptly, stepping away from the stovetop to dish up their food.

Eren took the plate with a frustrated sigh and sat down at the kitchen island. 

Normally he would’ve made it a point to stay and eat with Eren, but he wasn’t sure he was capable of holding it all together for much longer. His blood was still hot beneath his skin, tension swirling heavily in the air, and for once in his life, he didn’t care about leaving the kitchen a mess. He had to put some space between him and Eren as soon as possible. 

Without uttering another word, he picked up his plate and rushed off to his office and closed the door, eating his food in the quiet confines of his sanctuary, watching the world move slowly through the window.

About halfway through his meal, his stomach coiled uncomfortably. He set aside his plate and clicked open the messenger app.

**Levi 1:10 -** I think I fucked up

He tapped his finger against the armrest, impatiently waiting for Petra’s response as anxious thoughts swirled in his mind. Why did he panic like that? It could’ve been so easy to just close that short distance and finally kiss his longtime crush.

**Petra 1:17 -** What did you do?

**Levi 1:17 -** Shit just got real awkward.

**Petra 1:18 -** What did you do?!

_ Hange Zoe has joined the chat. _

**Hange 1:19 -** YEAH SHORT STACK. WHAT DID YOU DO?

**Levi 1:19 -** Jesus Christ.

**Hange 1:20 -** Is our lord and savior, AMEN.

**Levi 1:21 -** Petra, why did you invite this lunatic?

**Petra 1:21 -** Oh c’mooon! She might be able to help!

**Hange 1:21 -** Yeah, Leviii. After all, I am well versed in the language of  _ loooove. _

Levi groaned, hitting his head against the keyboard.

**Levi 1:22 -** bjwxDUHNO

**Petra 1:22 -** OH NO. I think we broke him.

What was the definition of insanity again?

Oh, that’s right. It meant doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

That’s what trying to ask Petra for advice was like. Pure unadulterated insanity.

**Levi 1:23 -** I give up

**Petra 1:24 -** Nooo! Don’t say that :(

**Petra 1:24 -** Just tell us what’s going on.

**Petra 1:24 -** Pleeeease?

Levi rolled his eyes.

**Levi 1:25 -** He came on to me pretty strong and I just fucking froze up.

**Hange 1:26 -** Wait he  _ came  _ on you already? DAMN LEVI you went zero to one hundred real fucking quick. Nice job!

**Levi 1:27 -** No four eyes, that’s not what I meant you fucking creep.

**Petra 1:28 -** WAIT do you mean to say that he tried to make a move and you didn’t take your chance to jump his bones?

These women were going to be the death of him.

**Levi 1:28 -** Basically.

**Hange 1:29 -** Don’t worry little one, I’m sure you’ll get another chance.

**Petra 1:30 -** Yeah! Maybe he’ll try again later tonight?

**Levi 1:30 -** Doubtful. Everything is fucking awkward now.

**Hange 1:31 -** I’m sure it’s all in your head. Don’t sweat it short stuff.

_ Erwin Smith has joined the chat.  _

**Erwin 1:31 -** Working hard, I see.

**Hange 1:31 -** OH SHIT. HIDE!

**Petra 1:32 -** Nothing to see here boss man. We’re just discussing my newly written chapter.

**Erwin 1:33 -** You know I can scroll up and see that you’re lying, right?

**Levi 1:32 -** Shut up eyebrows. Everyone knows you’re not doing shit right now. This whole remote system is scuffed.

**Erwin 1:33 -** I see you're having a bit of relationship trouble, Levi. I’m offended that you didn’t think to come to me for advice.

**Levi 1:34 -** Aside from Hange, you’re the last person I’d ask for relationship advice.

**Hange 1:34 -** Oof. You fucking killed him, bro.

**Petra 1:34 -** Yikes.

**Erwin 1:35 -** Don’t worry about the awkwardness, Levi. I'm sure by the time you finish your work, the situation will have blown over. When you see him again, act like your normal self and strike when the moment feels right. You’ll know when it happens.

**Levi 1:36 -** Fucking hell.

**Hange 1:36 -** Ooooh that was pretty good, bossman. I’m impressed.

**Petra 1:36 -** Wow much wise you are!

**Erwin 1:37 -** Since that’s been settled, I expect you all to get back to work. 

**Erwin 1:37 -** And Levi, last I checked, you still need to finish that assignment I gave you. Make sure it’s done by the end of the day.

Annoyed, he clicked out of the messenger and went back to work. Somehow he managed to finish the task by five o’clock and submitted it with a minute to spare. As he clocked out for the day, Erwin’s words swirled around in his head and he wondered if they held any merit. Would it be that easy to simply forget their awkward encounter? Surely Eren would feel resentment towards him for pushing him away.

With a sigh, he turned off his computer and made his way to the door. He stood in front of it, his hand hesitating on the handle. Finally mustering up enough courage to face Eren, he opened the door.

In the living room, Eren was lazing on the couch with his phone up to his face while the TV droned in the background. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he sat down in a chair caddy corner to him. Eren looked up from his phone for a brief moment to acknowledge Levi’s presence but quickly returned to whatever it was he was looking at.

Ignoring the awkward tension hanging in the air, he carried the dirty dish from lunch over to the kitchen, thankful that he could finally take care of it. He placed it into the dishwasher and scrubbed his hands, taking stock of everything that Eren was supposed to clean. Much to his surprise, the pans, the cutting boards, the countertops, they were all spotless and a pleased smile softened his hard expression. Despite how dejected Eren seemed when he pushed him away, he still took the time to carefully clean up Levi’s kitchen. Knowing that, it eased some of the awkward tension hovering over his shoulders.

When he returned to the living room, he considered taking his book into his bedroom and hiding out there, but he decided against it. This was his apartment, and he wanted to be able to sit wherever he damn well pleased. He picked up his book and started reading while Eren scrolled through his phone.

An hour passed and neither of them mentioned their almost kiss. Maybe Erwin had been right and pretending it never happened was that simple. When he got up to make himself a cup of tea, Eren finally popped up from his social media stupor.

“I was thinking about ordering some food,” Eren said nonchalantly. “Want something?”

“Sure,” Levi said, sitting back down with his fresh cup of Darjeeling. They ordered Chinese takeout and co-existed amicably in his living room until it arrived.

Thankful for the distraction, he grabbed the food and brought it to the kitchen, and of course, Eren followed. Eating together reminded him of their earlier foray in the kitchen—Eren’s warm hand on his jaw, lips parted and so damn tempting. He wanted desperately to forget the regretful dread coiling in his chest for having run away.

Wanting to return their relationship back to normalcy, he asked the first thing that popped into his brain.

“Do you have a job in Germany?” Levi asked. Ever since Eren paid for their meal, he couldn’t stop wondering if he even had the means to afford it.

Eren snorted at his lo mein. “Nope.”

“How do you even have money for this?”

“I had my sugar daddy Venmo me,” he looked up at Levi with a coy smirk.

“You’re fucking with me,” Levi said, jaw tensing. 

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

Fuck this guy. If Eren was in a relationship while casually flirting and teasing him, then Levi was going to lose his shit. His emotions were already a mess, he didn’t need to add another man into this already confusing equation.

They finished their meal and cleaned up the kitchen together. Much to his satisfaction, Eren took great care to make sure everything was pristine. Even if he was being a shitty brat at the moment, he was grateful that Eren was being mindful about keeping Levi’s space clean.

For the rest of the evening, they sat in the living room, watching shitty TV shows and laughing at the terribly written dialogue and bad acting. Despite their earlier hiccup at lunch, things had gone back to relative normalcy, just like Erwin said it would.

“Do you have to work on the weekends?” Eren asked as Levi got up to go to bed.

“No.”

“Can we do something tomorrow? I don’t think I can stay cooped up in here all day again,” Eren frowned as he leaned back on the couch.

“There’s nowhere to go,” Levi said. 

“We can go on a walk or something. Or is that not allowed?”

Levi shrugged, not sure what all the rules were. Truth be told, he wasn’t paying attention to the news. “I usually go for a run in the morning. You can come with, I guess.”

“Sweet,” Eren smiled.

He wondered if he would regret that. Seeing Eren breathless and glistening with sweat was sure to give his dirty thoughts new ammunition to use against him. But it was difficult telling the man no. It was like kicking down an adorable puppy.

They bid each other good night and Levi slipped into the quiet confines of his bedroom. All alone once again, he tore off his dirty clothes and dressed down for bed. 

Despite how tired he felt, he couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned for hours, replaying the day in his head. The unbidden thoughts of rough fingers brushing against his face and hot breath fanning across his lips plagued his mind as he tried to chase after sleep. 

It didn’t help his anxiety that he couldn’t stop picturing Eren with someone else. The idea of another man having the privilege of doing all the things Levi could only dream about kept him awake, forcing him to stare blankly at the ceiling.

_ Shit _

If he didn’t do something about the emotions wreaking havoc on his body soon, he wasn’t going to last the week with Eren. Tomorrow, he decided, Tomorrow he’ll do something about it. No more freezing and running away from Eren’s advances. Tomorrow he’ll make a move when the moment feels right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!  
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri scenes (:


	3. harder to breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. This is the chapter where things get heated.  
> I'm pretty new to writing this kind of stuff, so I hope it's okay?  
> Anyways, hope ya'll enjoy~

It was early Saturday morning and his insomnia had him awake before dawn.

Laying in bed, Levi pulled his phone onto his chest and considered giving Isabel a call to see if she could offer some kind words to ease his anxious heart. But then he thought of Petra and Hange’s incessant teasing and instantly shoved the idea into the back of his mind. Isabel and Farlan weren’t any better when it came to messing with him. Apparently, he was an easy target.

Instead, he opened Facebook, typing Eren Jaeger into the search bar.

A picture of him standing on a mountain summit popped up next to his name and he immediately clicked on the profile. As he scrolled through the page he was bombarded with photos of Eren and his travels across Europe, a new smiling face in each image. 

_ Damn,  _ he had good looking friends. The little green monster hiding in the far recess of his mind came slithering forward as he spotted several pictures of Eren candidly posing next to two different men. One was tall and lanky with dark hair and the other was on the shorter side with bulky muscles and sandy blonde locks. They looked close and he wondered if one of them was Eren’s boyfriend. He tried to read the comments but they were all in german.  _ Of course. _

Worrying his lip, he clicked away from the pictures, not wanting to dwell on the what-ifs. Scrolling through Eren’s feed, he was assaulted with countless posts about social and environmental issues. He spent more time than he’d care to admit reading through the argumentative comments being thrown back and forth between Eren and random strangers. He was completely enthralled by Eren’s passion, which was evident in every heated debate he got himself into. In each post, he never backed down in his ideals and he always got in the last word. 

Before he realized it, the sun was rising and the clock in the corner of his phone read 7:12 AM. Groaning, he rested his phone on his chest and debated if he wanted to try and get more sleep or if he should just start his day.

Despite the tired burning in his eyes from the mere three hours of sleep he managed to squeeze in, his mind felt wide awake. Getting up, he threw on a pair of black joggers, a white t-shirt, and a black zip-up hoodie.

He went along with his morning routine, brushing his teeth and combing back his hair, carefully wiping the countertop to rid it of its grime when he was finished, leaving the bathroom perfectly spotless. Even though the thought made his skin itch, he decided to postpone his usual shower until after his run.

In the living room, Eren was still fast asleep on the couch, his long strands of hair falling loosely from his bun, splaying messily across his face and pillow. Not letting himself linger on the endearing display for long, he pushed into the kitchen and brewed some tea. 

He enjoyed his hot beverage in relative silence as he read more of his book. But after several chapters, Aza Holmes’ anxiety started to mix in with his own and he could no longer distinguish what was real and what was fiction. He quickly put the book down and pushed it away from him with an uneven sigh. He wanted— _ needed _ —fresh air to clear his head. Looking at the clock over the stove, he noted it was a quarter past eight and he was sick of waiting for Eren’s lazy ass.

The brunette on his couch had haphazardly rolled onto his side, his pillow on the ground next to him. Picking it up, Levi tossed it at Eren’s head. 

“Wake up.”

With a sharp gasp, he jolted awake.

“What the fuck?” Eren blinked, squinting up at him with a frown. “Good morning to you too,” he griped.

“I’m leaving in the next five minutes, with or without you.”

Eren groaned dramatically. “Has anyone ever told you you’re an asshole?” 

“Yes,” Levi scoffed.

Eren bit his lip, almost looking regretful.

“Are you coming or are you just going to stare at me all day?”

“Okay, okay,” Eren relented, getting up. “Let me get ready.” He headed into the bathroom but peaked his head out before shutting the door, shooting Levi a hard glare. “And don’t leave without me.”

Levi snorted, plopping down on the couch as he waited for Eren to get dressed. When he returned, his hair was neatly tied back and he wore a pair of black athletic pants and a deep green t-shirt that showed off the entirety of his tattoo. The dark trees stretched up his bicep, the ink getting brighter and brighter as it crawled up his arm. White and blue birds with wide, outstretched wings weaved gracefully between the branches. 

It was beautiful, just like him.

“Ready?” Levi asked, getting up and pulling on his shoes by the door.

Eren nodded and followed suit. They descended into the lobby in easy silence and stood outside in the bracing morning breeze.

Levi pulled out his Bluetooth earbuds and was about to put them into his ears when Eren groaned. “Aw, man. I forgot my headphones upstairs,” he pouted.

“Tough shit,” Levi said, slipping the buds into place and pulling up Spotify. 

“Aww c’mon Levi,” Eren whined. “Running without music sucks.”

He scoffed, clicking onto his running playlist and picked the first song. Green Light by Lourde, a Chromeo remix, came over the speaker, the beat drowning out Eren’s protests. He threw the brunette a sharp look and started running down the sidewalk, not waiting to see if he would follow.

Eren was suddenly at his side, his long strides keeping up easily with Levi’s quick pace. There’s an annoyed scowl creasing Eren’s brow and green eyes stared intently at him.

Without warning, his earbud was pulled out of his ear.

“What are you listening to?”

Levi abruptly came to a full stop in front of Eren who was holding the blasted earbud out of his reach. “Give it back,” he growled.

“Share with me,” he said, threatening to put the piece into his ear.

“No fucking way,” he grabbed Eren’s arm, trying his damndest to wrestle the device out of his hand.

“Pleeease?”

“That’s disgusting, no,” he growled.

Much to his displeasure, Eren didn’t listen.

“Too late,” Eren smirked, the black earbud tucking tightly into his ear.

Levi’s eye twitched and Eren’s smirk grew into a full-blown grin.

“You’re fucking annoying,” Levi griped, at which Eren laughed loudly.

Thanks to Eren’s persistence, he had to ignore the off-kilter feeling of having only one earbud in, the uneven balance making him slightly unsteady as he set off on his run. But once he felt his blood pumping in his veins, the burning in his lungs and legs, his previous anxieties melted away. 

If he was keeping to his usual pace, he could clock in a mile at around five minutes. Normally he ran by himself, so accommodating Eren was tricky. Testing out the limits of what Eren could do, he decided to keep his pace around the seven-minute mark, and instead of doing his normal three-mile circuit, he decided to cut it short and only do two.

Much to his surprise, and slight annoyance, Eren kept up relatively well. The sound of his heavy breathing followed him across the city while he hovered easily at his side. Levi occasionally stole a glance at the brunette next to him and regretted it every time. There was a soft flush staining his cheeks and a thin sheen of sweat glistening across his skin. He looked damn near delectable with his full lips parting for each gasping breath he took.

Levi could feel his owm cheeks warming with the exertion, his breaths coming in easy pants. Eren looked over at him and smiled weakly, the brightness of his gaze doing more to steal Levi’s breath away than the running did.

They finished the circuit back in front of his apartment complex and Eren bent over in exhaustion. “You’re… fast,” he huffed.

“You’re slow,” he said through even breaths.

Eren peeked up at him. “You were... holding back... weren’t you.”

Levi shrugged. “Maybe.”

Eren groaned, rolling his eyes.

When they returned to his cold apartment, the first thing Levi did was sanitize his earbuds, thoroughly wiping them down.

“You probably want to shower first, huh?” Eren asked as he watched him meticulously clean the device.

“If you don’t mind,” Levi said, trying to hide the fact that he was extremely uncomfortable with how his body crawled with filth, sweat sticking uncomfortably to his skin. The desperate need to scrub himself clean was clawing up his chest but he pushed it down, appearing casual as he focused on cleaning Eren’s disgusting ear wax off his headphones.

“Go for it,” Eren said, plopping down on the couch with a huff.

Silently thanking him, he put down the little black case and hurried off to the bathroom, relishing in the warm water that washed away his impurities. Levi had a terrible habit of taking long showers and by the time he was wrapping up, the water was getting cold. 

Eren would be in for a treat. 

He turned off the water and got dressed, returning to the living room. When Eren disappeared into the bathroom, Levi went into the kitchen to cook them a late breakfast. 

“Are you trying to punish me for using your headphones?” Eren frowned, sitting down at the kitchen island, his long hair wet and loose around his face.

Levi raised a curious eyebrow at him, pushing him a plate of eggs and buttered toast.

“You used all the hot water.”

He scoffed. “Get used to it.

They spent the rest of the day co-existing in his living room together. Levi told him about his co-workers and how they liked to annoy the shit out of him. Eren told him about his roommates, Bertholdt and Reiner, going on about how they were real ‘bros’. Levi remembered seeing their names from his earlier foray onto Facebook and was relieved to find out that neither of them was currently, or at any time, dating Eren. 

They talked about music, or more specifically, Eren talked about music. He enthusiastically told Levi about some of the artists he got to see last summer during some festival called Tomorrowland that took place every year in Belgium. But now that COVID had shut down every major event in the world, it wouldn’t be happening that coming summer, much to Eren’s disappointment. 

They continued to talk like that over lunch and dinner, discussing their favorite TV shows and books, even broaching the topic of environmental policies. Levi was surprised how knowledgeable Eren was about the subject, entranced by the passion that coursed through his eyes as he debated the need for clean, sustainable energy. Though he really shouldn’t be surprised since it  _ was  _ his area of study. Sometimes he forgot just how intelligent Eren was since he put on a facade that he was anything but. But watching him pour his heart out about important issues made his heart swell with admiration, which only seemed to grow with each passing hour.

Even so, mild disappointment festered at the surface of his mind. Erwin’s advice swirling around in his head, reminding him that he needed to strike when the moment was right. But every moment since their almost kiss felt extremely normal, platonic even. There was no palpable tension hanging in the air, no seductive teasing, or sly smirks. He would give anything to see Eren biting his lip again.

The sun was setting outside his window and they were sitting apart from each other on the couch, watching Unsolved Mysteries when Eren decided to ask him an extremely personal question.

“How come you’ve never been in a relationship?”

Levi turned to him and blinked. He didn’t have a clue how he was supposed to answer that. Relationships were vexing things that lead to discomfort and emotional distress because they involved two people, which in his opinion, was one too many. Being alone meant he only had to worry about his wants and needs. Adding people into the equation made things messy. People tended to let you down… but only if you gave them that power. His Uncle Kenny taught him that. 

After living with that man most of his childhood, watching strange men and women coming and going from their small apartment, he learned that people were unpredictable and selfish. They didn’t respect the order that Levi so desperately needed in his life. So he decided that he didn’t need people. But  _ fuck _ . That didn’t stop him from  _ wanting  _ Eren.

“People are shit,” he settled on saying.

“Well, not all people, right? He asked, biting his lip for the first time that day. Seeing it stirred something primal inside of him, making his fists clench. “You don’t think I’m shit, do you?”

Levi’s lips parted as he considered his question. Yes, Eren was unpredictable and inherently selfish. Yes, being around him sometimes made him uncomfortable and emotionally confused. And yes, he represented everything he didn’t like about  _ people _ . But Eren respected the order Levi had created for himself. He didn’t look at him like he was a basket case or an asshole. He looked at him like he was a real person with real feelings and real problems. Unlike most people, Eren understood Levi’s crass humor and odd little quirks and he was one of the few people that could make him laugh. It’s because of those reasons Levi could say without a doubt that Eren wasn't like other people.

“No,” Levi said, barely above a whisper.

All of a sudden, Eren was tossing the blanket off of his lap and crawling across the couch, hovering over Levi as he sat back on his knees. His intense green eyes bore down onto him, pinning him against the soft cushion so he couldn’t move, heart thumping wildly against his chest

Hesitating, Eren licked his lips, his slick tongue mere inches from his own. 

“Can I kiss you?” he finally asked, his voice no more than a whisper.

The world felt like it stopped at that very moment and everything felt like a dream floating through space and time. Unable to find his voice, Levi nodded, stomach fluttering in anticipation.

Suddenly, soft lips enveloped his, and every nerve inside of his body sparked to life. Pressing into him, Levi’s hands gripped at Eren’s t-shirt, trying to find purchase on his firm chest and broad shoulders, anything that he could hold on to reassure him that this was happening. 

Just like before, a warm hand cradled his jaw, but his time Levi didn’t push it away. He let it linger there, relishing in the warmth spreading across his cheek as Eren’s soft lips gently coaxed his mouth open.

Each press of their lips became hungrier than the last as a raging fire stirred in his core. Eren licked and nipped at Levi’s lip until he opened his mouth for him, allowing their tongues to meet in a gentle caress. Eren flicked his hot tongue over Levi’s, the metal ball of his piercing sensually massaging his tongue, the new sensation stealing his breath away. Savoring the taste, Levi pressed deeper, his tongue exploring every inch of Eren’s mouth as his fingers twisted into his long hair, roughly pulling him closer.

Eren gasped into his mouth, the sharp sound causing Levi’s cock to twitch against his tight jeans.  _ Fuck _ . He was so hard already and every inch of his body was screaming to be touched. As if he could sense his need, Eren pushed his body against Levi’s, his erection pressing hard into his side. Eren grabbed at the back of his neck while his other hand ran across his body, greedy fingers pushing up his shirt and exploring every inch of his chest, leaving behind little trails of fire. His hand moved dangerously close to his hardened cock and Levi instinctively bucked into it, groaning softly against Eren’s lips.

“Shit, Levi,” Eren growled, finally breaking away. His pink lips were red and swollen from their prolonged kiss and he gasped softly for air, hot breath caressing Levi’s face. Burning green eyes were blown wide with lusty desire and Levi was completely lost in their depth. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

He gripped Levi’s chin and roughly jerked his head to the side, licking him beneath his ear. Hard teeth grazed his skin and the sharp sensation sent a shiver down his spine, the sweet combination of pleasure and pain making his breath come in uneven waves. Curious fingers snaked up his back as his teeth teased the length of his collarbone, his tongue trailing wet kisses across his skin, rousing a throaty groan in the back of Levi’s throat.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Eren growled into his neck. 

The praise made his face go hot with a pink blush.  _ Shit _ . He was completely putty in Eren’s hands, his body reacting to every little thing he did or said. Every feeling and every sensation was out of his control and he felt like he was slipping out of himself.

“Eren,” Levi breathed against his cheek as the brunette sucked his earlobe, sending a shiver down his spine. Every touch felt sinful against his burning skin, yet he craved more of it. That alone scared the shit out of him.

Eren’s hand trailed down his stomach and his fingers got closer and closer to his aching cock. They teased the top of his pants, threatening to brush against the straining hardness trapped beneath his clothes, making Levi want for more. His lips were suddenly on his again and his hot tongue forced its way into his mouth, twirling deliciously with his. Eren overwhelmed his senses—his smell, his taste, his touch—and it felt like he was drowning in him. Everything about him made it harder to breathe.

“Eren,” Levi gasped, his chest frantically rising and falling with each desperate breath as Eren palmed his throbbing erection through his clothes. Eren groaned against his jaw, trailing kisses down his neck as he tightened his grip on his nape. 

It was too much. It felt too fucking good and he was rapidly losing control of himself.

“Eren stop,” he finally managed to say, despite every fiber of his body not wanting him to.

Eren froze and pulled back, burning emeralds softening with concern. “What’s wrong?” he said between breaths.

“I just…” he started to say, looking away from the intensity of his stare. Even without those heavenly lips touching him, his closeness made it hard to think. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to steady his rapidly beating heart, he steeled himself for what he wanted to say. “I’ve never done this before.”

Eren looked confused. “What, been with a guy?”

_ Fuck _ . He didn’t want to admit to his inexperience but he had to. Eren had a right to know why he was silently freaking out.

“With anyone.”

Surprise widened his eyes and he sat back on his heels, finally giving Levi enough space to breathe.

“Jesus, Eren. Stop looking at me like I just told you your dog died.”

A smirk twitched his lips. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I guess I just don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” he said, leaning forward. He grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and pulled Een down to his level. “Just slow it down a bit, ya?”

Levi closed the space between them and claimed Eren’s mouth with his own, resuming the heated kiss he had previously broken off. Despite the pleasure building in his core, he couldn’t stop the anxious twist of his stomach as Eren flushed against him. The perilous thoughts in his head telling him he shouldn’t be doing this, but the burning need coursing through his veins told him otherwise.

Suddenly, Eren was picking him off the couch and pulling him into his lap, his hard erection pressing into his thigh as Levi straddled him.

“You set the pace,” Eren said, his voice low and breathy as he looked up at him with hooded eyes.  _ God,  _ he looked so sexy like that, cheeks pink and lips swollen, hair falling loose and messy around his face. Levi sat there, heart quivering weakly at his simple gesture.

Taking control, he grabbed Eren’s long hair, jerking his head to the side. He sharply gasped and the sound made his stomach flutter with satisfaction, making Levi realize just how much he wanted to hear Eren moan for him. Levi lapped hungrily at his neck, his tongue tracing the outline of his jaw as his teeth bit into tender skin. A soft moan escaped Eren’s parted lips and he bucked into Levi’s ass, making him gasp sharply in surprise.

“I thought you said I could set the pace,” Levi said into the crook of his collar bone.

“I can’t help it,” Eren murmured in his ear. He could hear the breathy smirk in his voice. “You feel too good.”

Levi hummed against his neck and bit hard into his soft flesh, eliciting another moan from Eren as his head fell back against the back of the couch. He pressed his straining erection against his stomach, wanting to desperately relieve some of the mind-numbing pressure building in his length. Eren gripped his hips, guiding him as Levi rocked his bulge against his body. A breathy moan escaped Levi’s parted lips, head falling back in pure bliss as glorious friction had him wanting for more.

“Tell me what you want, Levi.”

_ Fuck _ . He wanted  _ him. _ Wanted him to kiss him, to touch him, to take away the binding pressure in his cock. Wanted him to breathe his name like it was the only name worthy of saying. Wanted everything and anything all at once despite his conscious telling him he shouldn’t give himself over so easily. 

But  _ shit,  _ he wanted to.

“I want you to touch me,” he murmured against his lips.

Eren’s hands tightened on his hips, fingers digging hard into his skin. “Where?”

Levi pulled back and glared at him. “You know where you shit.”

“I want to hear you say it,” he purred, a coy smirk curving his lip.

“Touch my cock you fucking sociopath.”

Suddenly Eren picked him up off his lap and laid him back on the couch, his body hovering over his. He pushed up Levi’s shirt and trailed wet, hot kisses down his stomach, pausing when he got to the top of his jeans. His fingers easily undid the button and he pulled them down with his boxers, allowing his throbbing cock to spring free.

Smiling up at him, Eren’s warm hand wrapped around his length and gave him an experimental tug, sending a wave of heat throughout his body, a groan escaping his lips. It was just like his shower fantasy but a thousand times better. Seeing Eren looking at him with unadulterated lust in his eyes, his perfect teeth biting his already swollen lip, his warm hand pumping his aching cock—sent heavenly waves of pure bliss throughout his body.

“Is this what you wanted?” Eren purred against Levi’s mouth, taking Levi’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucking hard as his skilled hand worked up and down his length.

“Yes,” he whimpered.

Eren’s hand tightened around him and he quickened his pace, delicious pressure coiling in his stomach as Eren sucked and bit his neck, that ungodly piercing pressing sensuously into his skin. Fuck he didn’t know how much more of this he could take. Eren felt too fucking good. Levi’s hand snaked into Eren’s hair, holding on to dear life as he neared his climax.

“You look so good like this,” he murmured into his ear. “I want to hear you moan for me.”

“Eren,” Levi cried, his body tensing as each pump of Eren’s hand brought him closer and closer to the edge. 

“Ich mag es, wenn du stöhnst,” he purred in german. He licked the shell of his ear, making him shiver. The huskiness of those foreign words combined with the tingling sensation of his pierced tongue caressing his ear, the increasing tempo of each needy pump built up the pressure inside of him, until it sent him over the edge. Every muscle in his body tensed as heat exploded from his core, sending waves of electricity coursing through his body. 

A strangled cry ripped from his chest and hot cum pooled on his stomach as he released himself of all the pent up pressure. Eren cradled the back of his head and gave him several more teasing pulls, draining him completely dry. 

Soft lips were suddenly on his and Levi relished in the steady warmth spreading through his chest as his body went limp against Eren’s. At that moment, nothing else existed. It was just the two of them alone in his small apartment and nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

Much too soon, Eren pulled away, getting up to grab several tissues from the end table and he gently wiped away the cum sticking to his skin. Trying to ignore the fact that Eren simply tossed the dirty tissues onto his coffee table when he was done, Levi sat up and pulled his jeans back on, a surreal euphoria making his limbs feel like jelly.

Eyeing Eren’s straining erection tenting his pants, Levi unconsciously bit at his lip.

“Let me take care of you,” Levi muttered, crawling closer to the brunette.

“You don’t have to,” he said, a beautiful flush staining his cheeks.

“Don’t be an idiot,” he rolled his eyes, pushing Eren back into the couch.

“You sure?” Eren asked, running his fingers across Levi’s undercut.

Truth be told, he wasn’t. He’s jerked himself off plenty of times before but he’d never done it to another person. The fact that he was so inexperienced while Eren was anything but made him nervously chew the inside of his cheek, considering if he wanted to go through with it or not. But it suddenly occurred to him—if giving a hand job meant getting to see Eren unravel in front of him, then it would be worth the try.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.”

Before Eren could object any further, Levi was pulling down his pants, revealing his lengthy cock. He licked his lips and took him into his hand, thumbing the precum from his tip, down his head. Eren hissed and the sound sent an electric wave through Levi’s entire body. Wanting to hear more, he steadily pumped his cock, eliciting a sweet moan from Eren’s lips.

As he palmed his length, green eyes bore into him with such intensity that Levi couldn’t look away. His pupils were blown wide with pleasure and his lips parted, his hot breath fanning against Levi’s lips. Seeing him like that, he knew exactly what Eren meant by his earlier praise. He looked so fucking good coming undone by his hands.

Eren pulled his mouth up to him and they shared a long, heated kiss as Levi squeezed his cock, increasing the tempo of each pull. Eren moaned into his mouth, sending a delicious vibration down his spine and he could feel himself hardening again despite his recent orgasm.  _ Fuck.  _ Eren was going to be the end of him.

“You feel so good,” Eren rasped against his cheek. 

Feeling empowered by Eren’s blissful cries, Levi cupped his balls with his other hand, giving him a gentle squeeze. Eren squirmed underneath him, gripping tightly onto his hip, his shoulder.

“I’m so fucking close,” he breathed, letting his head fall back against the cushion. 

Levi took that opening to suck at his exposed neck, teasing his soft skin with his teeth. Eren tensed underneath him, practically shaking as a groan shattered the quiet around them, hot cum spilling onto his fingers. Eren jerked, gripping tightly onto Levi as he coaxed out his orgasm.

“Fuck,” Eren breathed, relaxing back into the couch, gazing lazily into Levi’s eyes. 

They sat there, staring at each other for a quiet moment, the bliss of their orgasms leaving them in a daze. Finally, Eren pulled Levi into him, placing a soft, delicate kiss against his lips, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Why did Eren have to have such an effect on him? The thought was frightening, stirring uncomfortable anxiety in his chest.

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, Levi rose from the couch, grabbing several tissues to hastily clean up Eren’s mess and he stole away into the kitchen to throw away the soiled napkins. He quickly washed his hands under scalding hot water and relished in the grounding effect it had on him. 

Everything was fine, he told himself. Even with such foreign feelings stirring under his skin, he was still him, he was still in control. There was still order in his life.

Right?

Eren was suddenly behind him, wrapping his arms around Levi’s abdomen. He bent down, resting his chin against his shoulder, hot breath brushing the left side of his cheek. The intimate gesture made him tense.

“You good?” he asked, pressing his lips under his ear.

“Fine,” he huffed, wondering what this all meant for their relationship.

He knew from Mikasa that Eren was not the type of person that committed to a long term relationship. Back in high school, it seemed like he had a new boyfriend every couple of months and when he first went to college, his relationships never lasted longer than a week or two. When Mikasa and Eren were sharing an apartment, she would often go on tangents, complaining how annoying it was that Eren constantly brought home new guys. And that was before he moved to Germany. Levi doubted Eren had gotten any better about his obvious commitment issues since then.

If that was the case, Levi was nothing more than a friend with benefits for Eren. The idea tasted bitter on his tongue and his skin crawled uncomfortably under Eren’s touch.

“I need a shower,” he said, breaking away from Eren’s embrace and hurried off to the bathroom.

He quickly stripped down and turned the hot water on, steam filling the small room. For a long moment, he stood under the steady stream, letting the scalding water wash away his sweat and insecurities. As he idly scrubbed his skin, he sharply remembered the way Eren’s touch made every inch of his body light up like it was on fire. How his stomach twisted with nervous glee when his hot tongue brushed against his own. Everything about him had felt like pure ecstasy and it was too good to even consider giving up.

As the hot water drew anxiety from his pores, he imagined what it would be like to be Eren’s fuck buddy and he realized it wouldn’t be so bad. Not really. It’s not like he did the whole relationship thing anyway. If he was lucky enough, their relationship would stay the same and he’d still get to see Eren come undone at his touch, continue to hear him crying out his name in pleasure.

That thought alone was enough to solidify his decision. Feelings be damned, he’d do whatever necessary to be able to keep seeing Eren, even if it meant suppressing his growing affections for him. It’s not like he needed Eren to reciprocate those feelings.

That’s what he kept telling himself as he pulled a towel around his waist and returned to the living room where Eren would be waiting for him. The brunette looked up from his phone as the door opened, the blue light illuminating his face in the darkness. A soft smile warmed his eyes, stealing Levi’s breath away.

He stood there, frozen in his skin as those green eyes pinned him to the floor. Every word he had prepared to say went flying out the window, leaving him stunned and utterly speechless.

Thank god Eren knew what the fuck to say because Levi sure didn’t. 

“Are you tired?” Eren asked, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“Yeah. I’m gonna go to bed,” he said, stepping towards his bedroom, but Eren was standing up with a pillow in his hand and coming towards him, making him freeze up again.

“What are you doing?”

Eren looked down at him, confusion clear on his face like apparently, the answer was obvious or something. “Coming with you.”

Not having a clue how to respond to that, Levi simply settled for raising a questioning eyebrow at him, which was apparently funny because Eren laughed. “C’mon, Levi. We’ve seen each other's dicks now, I think it’ll be alright if we sleep in the same bed,” he said with a smile. “Besides, I’m sick of sleeping on the couch.”

Sharing a bed with Eren didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. At least when his insomnia kept him awake in the dead of night he wouldn’t be completely alone with his thoughts. “Fine,” he sighed, leading the way into his bedroom. “But you better not fucking snore.”

Levi quickly slipped on a pair of clean boxers, very aware of Eren’s eyes on him as he removed his towel. He was reaching into his closet for a t-shirt when a warm hand caught his wrist from behind, stopping him.

“You won’t be needing that,” Eren said against his ear. 

“I thought we were going to bed,” Levi frowned, peering at him from over his shoulder.

‘Well yeah, but I tend to get hot when I sleep,” he said, smirking. “Plus you look so good like this.”

Eren’s hand snaked around his hip, moving slowly up his stomach and Levi instinctively leaned into his touch, shuddering against him as the back of his head rested against Eren’s sturdy shoulder.

Honestly, Levi could care less if he wore clothes to bed or not. That wasn’t the reason behind his reluctance. It just all felt too…  _ personal.  _ Even though he’d never been in a relationship before, he knew there was something intimate about sharing a bed with someone else. Clothed or not, sleeping felt like a very private affair and Eren very much wanted to disrupt that privacy for whatever reason. But it was impossible to say no to him when he was pressing soft kisses across his neck and shoulder, stirring up something dark inside of him. 

“Jesus Eren, does anyone ever tell you no?” he asked, exasperated.

He felt him smile against his skin. “Not really.”

“So annoying,” Levi gruffed as Eren’s lips left a fiery trail across the crook of his neck.

“You're so tense,” he murmured into the shell of his ear, making him shiver.

“It’s because you’re a fucking tease,” Levi hissed, feeling breathless all over again.

Eren hummed, his low voice vibrating against his back as his hand pressed over his straining erection, palming it through his boxers. An electric wave of desire shot through his body, making him groan.

“Let me take care of you,” he coaxed, leading him over to the bed and pushing him onto the mattress.

Levi fell onto his back, his chest rising and falling with sudden want as Eren removed his shirt and pants, revealing a beautiful landscape of sun-kissed skin and lean muscle. He instinctively licked his lips, wanting nothing more than to run his fingers all over that smooth skin, to feel it pressing against his own. Eren smirked at Levi, crawling over him so their bodies were flushed together, trapping him under his heat. It radiated across his bare chest, making him shiver as Eren claimed his mouth with his. As Eren’s tongue sensually flicked across his own, stirring up a low heat in his stomach, Levi’s hands trailed across his arms, his back, his chest, memorizing every inch as he got lost in Eren’s musky scent.

“Just lay back and relax,” he purred against his lips as his hands pushed him into the mattress. Eren was suddenly ghosting kisses down his chest, making his heart race as his mouth got closer and closer to his aching cock. Eren slid his boxers down and took his length into his hand, rubbing his thumb down its underside, making Levi gasp.

Eren’s tongue suddenly flicked across the tip of his cock as he lapped up his precum, the sudden sensation of his wet tongue paired with the hard press of his piercing sent a jolt of pure pleasure up his spine and he jerked upward, body tensing.

“Relax,” Eren murmured, his lips brushing against his tip as he gently pushed him back down. Levi conceded, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes and taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what Eren’s sinful mouth was about to do.

When Levi looked up again, Eren was patiently watching him, a soft smile curving his waiting lips. His free hand found Levi’s and he squeezed his fingers reassuringly as he ran an experimental lick up his length before taking him fully into his mouth. Levi let his head fall back against the pillow and he tightly gripped Eren’s hand as his wet tongue and hard piercing massaged his cock, a searing heat burning Levi’s core.

“Fuck,” Levi breathed as Eren tongue swirled around his sensitive tip, causing a shudder to run down his spine.

The sensation of his soft tongue trailing warm heat up and down his shaft—that godforsaken piercing pressing brazenly against his sensitive skin—made his head swim with pure bliss. His eyes fluttered shut as he became overwhelmed with the heated pleasure coursing through his veins.

Eren’s hand was gripping the base of his shaft, twisting in tandem with his swirling tongue, smearing around the wet saliva coating his length. Engulfed in his wet heat, a low fire pooled in his belly, threatening to spill over at any moment.  _ God, _ it didn’t take much to get him to the edge.

“Eren,” he cried out, his hand jerking out to grab the back of Eren’s head, his fingers tangling into his disheveled hair.

Burning emerald eyes peered up at Levi as he pressed his tongue flat against the underside of his cock, his low voice humming in approval. He let go of Levi’s hand and tightly gripped his hip, taking him deeper into his mouth. The hand at his base slowly trailed down to massage his balls and Eren pressed Levi’s cock deep into the back of his throat, taking all of him inside of his mouth.

Seeing him completely swallowed whole sent him over the edge, his arousal spilling hot and fast down Eren’s throat. His whole body tensed and a loud moan ripped from his chest, holding onto Eren’s hair for dear life as he sucked him dry.

His tongue flicked one last time over his hyper-sensitive tip, licking up the last of his cum, making him twitched against the mattress. “You taste so good,” he hummed.

“Shit Eren,” Levi breathed, his body limp and buzzing with bliss. “That was… amazing.”

Eren laughed, crawling next to him. “Yeah, well, so are you.”

The awkward compliment made him snort and long fingers pinched Levi’s chin, turning his head so their lips were mere inches apart. Eren closed the distance, pressing his wet lips onto his, licking at Levi’s mouth until he opened for him. He could taste himself on Eren’s tongue and a proud satisfaction stirred in his chest. At that moment, Eren was his and nobody else's. 

His arm snaked around Levi’s waist, pulling him closer, their chests flushed against each other. Eren’s erection was pressing into his thigh and a nervous flutter twisted his stomach.

“Do you want me to…?” Levi trailed off, looking down at the stiff cock pressed against him.

“Nah, I’m good,” he said, laying his head back on the pillow.

“You sure?” Levi asked, worrying the inside of his lip.

“Yeah. I just want you to relax. I can tell you’re a little stressed out by all of this,” he murmured, pressing his lips delicately against Levi’s forehead. 

Sometimes it felt like Eren saw right through him, past his cold exterior and down into his soul. Nobody, aside from his immediate family, could see him—really truly see him—and letting someone get that close so quickly made his body tense, his hands clenching against Eren’s chest.

“That’s easier said than done,” Levi muttered, feeling exposed again. Despite how warm he was, he pulled the fluffy white comforter up to his chin, hiding.

“Yeah,” Eren frowned, seemingly at a loss for words. He got up with a huff to turn the lights off, allowing Levi the space to get comfortable. Laying back against the soft embrace of his bed, he realized just how tired he was, his body loose after that second mind-numbing orgasm. 

Eren joined him again on the bed, leaving several inches of space between them as he laid down. Even with the small amount of space keeping them apart, he could still feel the warmth radiating off his body in waves, feel those intense emeralds watching him in the dark. 

They bid each other good night and laid there in silence until Eren’s breathing deepened into a soft drone. Levi laid there, his body still tingling with the after-effects of his bliss as he admired the calm peace on Eren’s sleeping face.  _ This isn’t so bad _ , he sighed, rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling. He could keep doing this. Definitely.

For the first time that day, Levi felt at peace, and he allowed himself the chance to drift off into a dreamless sleep that somehow lasted all through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ich mag es, wenn du stöhnst - I like it when you moan
> 
> There you have it! Levi is head over heels and totally in denial. Oops~  
> Thanks for all the kudos/comments/love. It's much appreciated!
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri scenes (:


	4. afterthoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. It's been a minute!  
> Sorry for the delay on the update, life has been hella crazy for me these past couple of weeks. My state's COVID cases are like through the roof and I'm pretty sure I have the 'Rona. Ironic as I'm writing a fic about it... I brought this on myself lol.  
> Also I may or may not have gotten engaged last week so that took up a lot of my time as well :D  
> Hopefully things don't get too out of hand in the next couple weeks with my masters program. They probably will though, so if things slow down a bit update wise, that's why.  
> There's only 3 more chapters to go with this fic though, so stay tuuuned <3  
> Thanks everyone for making it this far with me. I appreciate the support~

Levi can’t remember the last time he slept in on a Sunday. 

When he finally woke up, the bright morning light filtered into the room. Squinting against the sun, he blinked several times to find Eren pressed up against his back, his arm thrown haphazardly over his side. Levi groaned against his pillow, Eren’s body was hot and suffocating next to him. No wonder Eren said no to the T-shirt—he was practically a furnace.

And apparently, Eren was also a cuddler, which Levi didn’t know how he felt about that. Physical touch wasn’t something he craved until he met Eren, often brushing people off when they tried to hug him or even pat him on the shoulder. So having Eren invading every inch of his personal space, his hot chest blanketing over him, made him feel slightly uneasy. It was too unfamiliar.

Before completely brushing him off, he took a moment to decide if he liked it or not. He simply laid there, listening to the soft rise and fall of Eren’s breaths against his ear. While he felt safe and secure in his strong arms like nothing bad could touch him while Eren was at his side, a modicum of anxiety curled his stomach. He knew that this wouldn’t last forever, their relationship just a temporary arrangement while Eren was stuck in the states. It was inevitable that Eren would eventually leave for school, and Levi would be left alone in his cold apartment, surrounded by millions of people in a city that was too big.

Even though it had only been a few days since Eren arrived, Levi had a hard time picturing his space without him in it. The thought made his skin itch and he needed to move, to distract himself from that harsh reality. Deciding he had enough of lazing about, Levi made to get out of bed, but Eren pinned him in place, those heavy arms pulling him back into his chest. 

“No,” Eren murmured sleepily.

“It’s nine, Eren. I want to get up,” Levi said, attempting to pry Eren’s hand off his stomach.

“Why? It’s nice here.” Eren sighed into the pillow.

“Stop being a lazy brat,” he huffed, successfully freeing himself from Eren’s grip. He turned to narrow his gaze at him but found it difficult to admonish him when he looked so beautiful first thing in the morning, his emerald eyes lidded and his hair a mess.

“What’s wrong with being lazy? It’s Sunday. People are lazy on Sunday.”

“I’m not.” He stood up. “I’ve got shit to do.”

“Like what?” Eren perked up.

“Grocery shopping, for one. Your fat ass ate all my food.”

Eren laughed, his eyes crinkling with mirth as he watched Levi get dressed. “What can I say. I’m a growing boy.”

“No kidding. I swear you weren’t this tall the last time I saw you.”

“I think the Germans put something in the water.”

Levi scoffed, hiding his amusement for Eren’s shitty joke, and pulled a clean shirt over his head. Once he was dressed, he looked back at Eren and raised a brow at him. “So is your lazy ass coming with or are you just gonna stay in bed all day?”

“Hell no. I’m coming with,” Eren said, throwing back the comforter and getting out of bed. “I can’t let you buy the wrong type of cereal or something.”

“Jokes on you. I don’t eat cereal.”

“Who doesn’t eat cereal?” Eren said, heading towards the bathroom to get dressed. Levi followed, leaning against the door, watching with interest as Eren’s lean muscles coiled under taut skin as he pulled a shirt over his head.

“Grown ass adults, that’s who.”

Eren hummed, eyeing Levi skeptically. “I happen to know plenty of adults that eat cereal. I mean, it’s normally like… Raisin Bran or something to help them shit, but still. Cereal is cereal.”

Levi snorted, his lip curling with amusement. “I shit just fine without the help of eating tasteless cardboard for breakfast.”

“Fair enough,” Eren smirked, reaching for his toothbrush.

Levi joined him at the sink, going about his morning rituals with Eren at his side. It was strange, brushing their teeth together and having Eren as a part of his daily routine. Something was comforting about having him at his side like he was meant to be there with him, their easy banter a welcome addition to his morning. It was something he could get used to.

Eren flipped the water on, spitting into the sink. Even with bending over, he was still too far away to ensure he didn’t get anything outside of the bowl and when Levi noticed some managed to get on the mirror, he scoffed.

Straightening up, Eren looked over at him as he wiped at his mouth. “What?”

“You made a mess.”

“I’ll clean it up,” Eren said, rolling his eyes. 

And Levi knew he would. That’s the kind of person that Eren was. He may not have an appreciation for cleanliness like Levi did, but he respected his space nonetheless. “Good.”

Leaving Eren in the bathroom, Levi returned to the bedroom, pulling on a jacket. He remembered seeing that it was only 46 degrees outside when he looked at his phone earlier. Despite it being almost spring, it was still cold as shit, making the prospect of going outside an unappealing one.

Eren returned to the bedroom, a teal sweatshirt making his eyes stand out in contrast to his tied-back hair. Even though he had been seeing a lot of him the past couple of days, Eren’s beauty still took him by surprise.

“Ready?” Levi said, looking away.

“Yup!”

Levi left the bedroom and went over to the coat closet by the door, pulling out a pair of black gloves and a disposable blue face mask. When the pandemic hit, everyone had freaked out and bought all the disposable face masks they could find, leaving most people wanting and in need. Luckily, Levi had always kept them on hand since people were riddled with germs and generally disgusting. Sometimes it paid off to be cautious.

He handed one to Eren, who took it from him with a mumbled ‘thank you’ before they both slipped their shoes on and went downstairs.

The lobby was quiet, as were the streets. It was still before ten and it seemed most people were spending their Sunday morning inside. Not that Levi blamed them. It was cold, dreary, and all-around unpleasant outside. The sun was hiding behind a thick blanket of clouds, and there was a brisk wind, making the 46 degrees feel closer to 40.

Luckily, the grocery store wasn’t too far from his building, the walk a mere five minutes. But when they got there, it was evident that their luck had run out. People were lined up outside, spaced six feet apart, their scowling faces covered and red from the wind.  _ Great _ .

“What’s with the line?” Eren asked.

Levi shrugged, not sure. As they drew closer, he spotted a sign indicating a limit to the number of people allowed inside the store. All shoppers had to wait their turn in line and social distance from one another. “Looks like we have to wait,” Levi frowned.

They took their place in line and Eren leaned against the wall, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Levi looked at him as he typed away on his phone. “Do you ever put that thing away?”

Eren looked up and shrugged. “I have a lot of friends.”

“Apparently.” 

Though Eren was relatively good about putting his phone away when they were spending time together, Levi couldn’t help but notice how much he constantly looked at the thing when they weren’t engaged in conversation with one another.

“Something wrong with that?” Eren asked. 

Levi scowled, which only seemed to amuse him, a coy smile curling his lip. 

“What, you jealous or something?”

“Jealous of your shitty friends?” He scoffed. “I remember the type of people you hung out with. They’re annoying. So no, I’m not jealous,” he lied. Even though he had the pleasure of enjoying a new physical relationship with Eren, he was still insecure. For all Levi knew, Eren could simply see him as a distraction, something to occupy the time while he was stuck there in the States. The moment he was free to leave, to be with his real friends, he’d forget all about Levi again.

The line moved up and he took a step forward, making Eren push away from the wall. He followed, his phone still clutched in his hands.

“You don’t like my friends?” Eren said. Feigning hurt, he jutted his lower lip out in a frown. “What about Armin?”

“Whiney.”

“Marco?”

“Naive.”

“Oh, come on. Jean?”

Levi gave him a pointed look. “Cocky.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that one,” he laughed. “Connie?”

“Impulsive.”

“What about… Sasha?”

Oof. That was a hard one. He kind of liked Sasha. “Hungry?” Levi shrugged and Eren barked out a laugh. 

“Fair,” he said, his hidden mirth crinkling his eyes.

Knowing it’d be covered up by his mask, Levi let himself smile at the sight of Eren’s amusement. Suddenly, Eren was holding up his phone, a clicking sound breaking through the moment, wiping away his grin.

“Did you just take a picture?” Levi asked, scowling

“I couldn’t help it,” he said, peering slyly at him as he typed away at his phone. “You looked cute.”

Levi rolled his eyes and stepped forward again, the line slowly moving. His face was starting to get cold, along with his toes and fingers. He was glad for the mask and gloves blocking some of the wind, but it wasn’t enough to warm him up. He tucked his hands into his pockets, suppressing a full-body shiver.

“Are you cold?” Eren asked, slipping his phone back into his front pocket.

Levi nodded. “Are you not?”

He shook his head. “It takes a lot more than this to make me cold,” he said, stepping closer to Levi. “Here, I can warm you up if you’d like.”

Before he could say no, Eren was hugging him from behind, his long arms wrapping around his chest, sneaking into Levi’s pockets. Eren’s warm hands grabbed his, lacing their fingers together. Despite the fabric of his gloves blocking their skin from one another, he could still feel his heat radiating against his cold skin.

Levi’s body instinctively tensed up at the sudden contact, but he soon began to relax as Eren’s warmth washed over his chilled body. A couple of people threw them an odd look as they passed, but Levi ignored it, focusing instead on keeping his breath even as Eren’s heartbeat steadily against his shoulder. 

Was Eren not aware of how  _ intimate _ his gesture felt? It made Levi’s heart light and fuzzy and his skin blazed up with a blush that was impossible to suppress.

“Better?” He asked, a smile in his voice.

Levi hummed, not trusting his voice enough to speak. The line moved again and Eren refused to let go of him as they moved forward.

There was a sudden buzzing against his lower back that made him jump and Eren laughed, squeezing him closer. Despite the constant buzzing in his pocket, Eren didn’t reach for his phone, keeping his fingers laced with Levi’s.

“You’re not going to respond?” Levi asked, peering at Eren from the corner of his eye.

He shrugged against him. “It can wait. It’s nothing important, I’m sure.”

It kept buzzing, tickling Levi’s back.

“What do they want?”

He sighed. “We were supposed to go to Amsterdam this weekend for my birthday. That obviously didn’t happen so they’re just complaining about it,” he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

It dawned on Levi that he’d almost forgotten Eren’s birthday. He’d never been good at keeping track of those things, but for whatever reason, he always remembered that Eren’s was on March 30th, probably because Mikasa  _ always _ dragged him to his birthday celebrations back home.

Levi pulled his hand out of his pocket, reluctantly slipping his fingers from Eren’s. He grabbed his phone out of his jeans and turned the screen on, the date glaring up at him. March 29th.

“Shit, your birthday’s tomorrow,” Levi frowned, slipping his phone back into his pocket. An uneasy weight sat in his stomach as he realized he didn’t have anything to give Eren for his birthday.

“Yup,” Eren said, popping the ‘p’ with his lips. He grabbed Levi’s hand again and stuffed their joined fingers back into the warm confines of his pocket. They moved forward once more towards the storefront. They were almost out of the cold, which was a huge relief.

A quietness fell over them and Levi could tell that Eren was upset about his current birthday situation. He was an extremely sociable person who always made his birthday celebrations a big ordeal. They were loud and crowded, filled with Eren’s many friends. It was no surprise that he was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to see his friends and family on his special day. Instead, he was stuck spending it with Levi.

“What do you want to do for it?” Levi asked.

Eren hummed in thought. “I can think of a few things,” Eren finally said. The suggestive intent behind his words made his skin flush, making him warmer than he had been all morning. 

Levi cleared his throat, his tongue suddenly felt heavy. “Like what?” 

“You, for one,” he said low into Levi’s ear, and it made his core heat up with sudden desire.  _ Fuck _ Eren didn’t give a shit about boundaries in public places, did he? If he kept that up, Levi was sure to be sporting an erection in front of the entire goddamn grocery store. 

“Such a fucking tease,” Levi said, trying to pull away but Eren wouldn’t let him, holding him firmly against his chest.

“You kinda set me up for it,” he chuckled, his hot breath still so close to his ear that Levi wanted nothing more than to feel Eren’s soft tongue caressing it. But the line moved up again and they were finally able to enter the store, offering Levi a much-needed reprieve from Eren’s advances.

They entered the building, and he was greeted with warm, stuffy air that made his exposed skin tingle. Eren finally let go of him, walking next to him as one of the clerks sanitized a cart and passed it over to them. Much to Levi’s surprise, Eren took the cart and started to push it as Levi led the way into the store. 

“What do we need to get?” Eren asked.

Levi listed off the things he wanted to buy, several ingredients that he would need for the usual meals he cooked throughout the week. Together, they went around the store and picked out the things that he needed, Eren being a huge help is seeking out certain items. It made Levi’s heart flutter in satisfaction seeing the eagerness Eren exuded in wanting to help Levi with something as mundane as grocery shopping. It was surprisingly really nice.

Though Eren’s apparent eagerness was also devoted to picking out the most absurd items and asking Levi if he could buy them as if he was a rambunctious child let loose in a toy store. 

“Oooh, can we get this?” Eren was holding up a box of Fruity Pebbles, eyes crinkled in a grin.

“No,” Levi said, walking away.

“Oh come on."

“That shit’s for kids.”

“No, you’re thinking of Trix, silly. This delicious goodness is for  _ everyone _ .”

“Put it back.”

“Fine. What about these?” he asked, trading out the Fruity Pebbles for a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

“No,” Levi sighed. “And stop touching everything, people are disgusting and it’s a fucking pandemic.”

“But they don’t have this stuff in Germany. I’ve been deprived, neglected of this delicious cereal for too long, Levi. Don’t make me suffer for any longer,” he begged, a playful smirk making his eyes glisten as he completely ignored Levi’s concerns.

Annoyed and slightly amused, Levi rolled his eyes, unable to handle Eren’s adorable insistence. “Fine,” he relented and Eren beamed, tossing the box into the cart.

They continued like that for the remainder of their time at the store, Eren would stop him and beg him for something and Levi always caved, unable to resist his charms. It was annoying that Levi had become so damn soft for him. If Petra and Hange saw him like this, they would never let him live it down.

Once they picked out everything on the list, Levi led the way over to the checkout line. Eren suddenly diverted from him, taking the cart with him as he headed towards the pharmacy section. Curious, Levi followed after him. “What now?”

Eren turned around, a coy look shimmering in his deep green eyes as he held up a box of condoms and lube. “What about this?” he asked, raising a curious brow at Levi.

Heat attacked his face and he was grateful for the mask hiding the blush that was sure to be staining his cheeks bright pink. He looked away, suddenly self-conscious, and he was thankful that there was nobody nearby.

After last night, Levi had wondered what their next steps were going to be, sex being the obvious answer. But for whatever reason, it seemed like a far off fantasy, something that wouldn’t come to be while Eren was in town. However, Eren was standing in front of him, practically asking him if they could have sex, and now Levi wasn’t so sure.

Did he want to have sex with Eren? Yes, absolutely. One hundred percent. Was he scared as all hell to do so? More than he cared to admit. Even though he wanted to, he couldn’t stop himself from worrying about what would happen if he gave himself over to him, to let Eren be the first person to ever know him intimately like that.

All of his life, he’s kept up a wall to protect himself from getting hurt by others. That wall kept people from getting too close, but it also made it difficult for Levi to develop meaningful relationships. Despite that, he always kept it up because it kept him safe and secure. It kept him in control over his hurt.

But there was something about Eren that made him want to tear down that wall, to give control over to him. Despite the anxiety, he felt about the uncertainty of their relationship, Eren made Levi feel light and buoyant, happy, and free. It was a good feeling, one that Levi had never really experienced until he met Eren all those years ago. He had forgotten what it felt like to be with someone that understood him, to be with someone that made him  _ feel something.  _ It was something he didn’t want to give up anytime soon, if ever.

After far too much silence, Levi finally looked back at Eren who was now wearing a doubtful expression. He didn’t like seeing Eren like that, unsure and discouraged. 

“Okay,” Levi finally said, his words turning Eren’s expression into one of bright excitement. Even though Levi was silently panicking under his skin, his heart still fluttered in satisfaction at seeing how happy his agreement made Eren.

Without another word on the subject, Eren put the box of condoms and lube into the cart and pushed it to checkout, an obvious smile lighting up his eyes. They checked out their items and Levi was only slightly aware of the curious looks the clerk kept throwing their way as she scanned their items.

“That woman was totally checking you out,” Eren said as they walked back to his apartment, groceries stacked in brown paper bags, tucked against their chests.

“What? No, she wasn’t.”

Eren laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Levi asked, his annoyance growing.

“You’re just so oblivious, it’s cute.”

“Stop calling me cute.”

“Okay fine, you’re sexy,” Eren said. “That woman thought so too.”

“You’re full of it,” he said, his cheeks burning hot under his face mask. Hiding how flustered that comment made him, he balanced the bags in his arms as he opened the door to his apartment building. He held it open for Eren, shyly watching as he passed by him, Levi’s eyes naturally roaming up and down his body. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining what they would be doing later with those condoms and lube and his mouth went dry.

“Whatever you say,” Eren said, softly chuckling as they rode the elevator up to the eighth floor.

As they slowly ascended, he kept thinking about the condoms laying at the bottom of the bag, how they teased him with the fanciful idea of having sex with Eren. Unsure if it was all in his mind or not, Levi could practically taste the tension that was brewing between them as they rode the elevator up in silence. He kept sneaking glances at Eren, who was watching him with half-lidded eyes, his chest steadily rising and falling with each breath. Every inch of Levi’s skin tingled and he wanted nothing more than to feel Eren’s needy hands on him.

The elevator dinged, breaking their gaze from one another and they stepped out into the hallway, making their way to his door. Setting down one of the bags, he reached for his keys, fumbling them with nervous fingers as he tried to unlock the door.  _ God _ , he was such a mess when it came to Eren. Just being around him made his nerves flare, his heart flutter.

Trying to ignore the slow-burning desire building in his stomach, he made his way to the kitchen, tossing his mask into the trash. Eren did the same, helping Levi as they emptied the bags of their contents. While they worked in companionable silence, Eren kept peeking glances at Levi, those deep eyes weighing heavy on his skin.

Turning away from his stare, Levi started to put away the groceries, thoroughly wiping them down with sanitizer wipes as he did so. When he turned back around to face Eren, his phone clicked, snapping a photo. He tensed at the sound, his eyes narrowing on the cell phone being held up, camera aimed at his face.

“Stop doing that,” Levi scowled.

Eren smiled at him, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’t help it.”

Levi scoffed, trying to brush off Eren’s strange antics, focusing on the task at hand. The fact that he kept snapping pictures of him was odd, to say the least, but he honestly didn’t think too much of it. After stalking Eren’s Facebook the other day, he realized that he was just big on taking pictures, so that’s all he chalked it up to. Though he wasn’t a huge fan of being the subject of those pictures, there wasn’t much he could do to stop him.

As Levi put away Eren’s shitty cereal into the pantry, he suddenly came up behind him, his warm arms snaking around his middle. Levi tensed at the sudden contact, but instantly relaxed as Eren’s soft lips trailed wet kisses down his neck. 

“What are you doing,” Levi said softly, his heart beginning to race.

“Getting what I want,” Eren murmured in his ear, his tongue caressing the shell of it, making him shiver.

_ Oh _ . So this was it, huh? Levi’s stomach suddenly flipped with nervousness and he had to grip on to the counter as his knees went weak. Eren didn’t waste any time getting down to business, which didn’t surprise Levi. The tension that had been brewing between them since they bought those damn condoms had been palpable, making it impossible to ignore the needy desire coiling in his core.

“Is that right?” Levi breathed, trying to catch his bearings, but Eren had thrown him off-kilter, making it hard to focus on anything other than those soft lips teasing his skin, that slick tongue leaving a wet trail on his neck and jaw.

Just as quick as the pleasure came, so too did the anxiety that always seemed to follow. His skin began to prickle and he swallowed hard against the lump forming in his throat. Eren didn’t seem to notice the panic that was brewing under the surface as he turned Levi’s face towards him, those perfect lips capturing his into a kiss. His hand caressed his cheek and Levi stiffened, anxiety gripping his chest. Despite the delicious taste of their kiss, the pure warmth spreading through his bones, he pulled away, his chest rising and falling quickly as he gripped Eren’s hand and jerked it from his cheek.

“What’s wrong?” Eren asked, clearly confused.

“I just…” he started to say, eyeing Eren’s dirty hand, hating how much his anxiety controlled him sometimes, how it ruined moments that didn’t deserve to be ruined. “I just need you to wash your hands first. You went around touching everything and that’s disgusting.”

“Oh,” Eren said, looking slightly relieved. “My bad.”

Levi sighed softly, watching as Eren went to wash his hands at the kitchen sink. When he was done, Levi did the same, letting the hot water steal away some of the anxiety that was making his skin itch. Wiping off his hands, he turned to look at Eren, who was eyeing him warily.

“If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to,” Eren said.

That’s probably what it seemed like, didn’t it? Every time Eren advanced on him, he tended to stiffen, to panic, and push him away. But it’s not because he didn’t want Eren, it’s because everything about Eren was new, uncharted territory that he didn’t know how to navigate. He didn’t know what he was doing, didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know what was going to happen  _ after _ the fact. And for whatever reason, his mind liked to remind him of that when he was just trying to enjoy himself.

“No,” Levi said, shaking his head and stepping towards Eren. He reached out to him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him closer to him so their lips were mere inches apart. “I want this.”

Before Eren could say anything more, Levi pressed his lips against his, kissing him slow and sweet at first. Warmth spread through his chest and he felt fuzzy and light as Eren’s hand reached up to caress his cheek once more. Leaning into his touch, Levi tightened his grip on Eren, pulling him closer to deepen their kiss.

Eren’s other hand roamed up his back, warm fingers trailing over his neck and twisting into his hair. He pulled gently at it, forcing Levi’s head to fall back as Eren licked at his mouth, demanding entrance. Obliging, Levi twisted their tongues together, moaning into Eren’s mouth as the ball of his piercing pressed into his tongue. The hot and cold sensation sent a jolt of pleasure to his groin and he was already straining against his jeans.

Eren pressed harder into Levi, pushing him up against the countertop, his erection pressing deliciously into Eren’s thigh. Never breaking their kiss, Eren lifted Levi easily onto the countertop. Having a higher angle on him, Levi was able to press deeper into Eren’s mouth, to explore every inch of him while his fingers idly roamed into his hair, pulling at the loose bun until it was completely undone. 

“I want you so fucking bad,” Eren said, breaking their kiss to press his forehead against Levi’s, his ragged breath fanning against his cheeks. 

Those words surprised Levi, making him shiver. To hear Eren admit just how much he wanted him stirred something dark and primal inside of him that made him hungry for more. Levi licked his lips, savoring the taste, the scent of Eren so close to him. It consumed his senses, drowning out the anxious thoughts that always seemed to dominate his mind, wanting nothing more than to just get lost in Eren. 

He pulled on Eren’s hair, exposing his long neck so that he could place needy kisses against his warm skin, Eren softly moaned next to his ear. He suddenly gripped tightly onto Levi’s hips, pulling him closer so that his erection was pressed firmly against his stomach, the blissful pressure sending waves of heat throughout his body. He wanted more, wanted to feel Eren’s skin against his own, to completely and utterly lose himself to the pleasure that was building up inside of him.

Instinctively, he ground against Eren’s body, groaning against his neck. The sound awakened something in Eren because he was suddenly lifting Levi off the counter, holding him close as one of his hands cradled his back and the other gripped his ass. Levi wrapped his legs around Eren’s torso, refusing to break contact with him. 

“Grab those,” Eren commanded, nodding towards the box of condoms and lube on the countertop. 

Levi did as he was told, cradling the objects in his hand as his other held onto the back of Eren’s neck. Eren carried him towards his bedroom while Levi licked at the shell of his ear, sucking greedily on his earlobe.

Suddenly, Eren dropped him onto the bed, the condoms and lube unceremoniously falling next to him. Standing over him, Eren removed his sweatshirt and T-shirt, exposing beautifully tan skin stretched over lean muscles and Levi wanted nothing more than to run his fingers over it. He soon got his wish as Eren crawled over him, pinning him into the soft mattress.

Their lips met once more in a heated kiss, tongues dancing over each other in a rhythm they easily established together. Levi’s hands roamed up his chest, down his back, memorizing every little detail he could while Eren massaged his tongue with the press of his metal piercing.

Levi pressed his erection against Eren’s body, groaning at the sinful pressure building in his core. Frustrated by the fact that his clothes were restricting the sensations he wanted so much to experience, he pushed Eren back, grabbing at his shirt to tear it off and threw it off to the side.

Eren sat back on his knees, appraising Levi with eyes blown wide with desire. He licked his lips and smirked before diving back in to suck at his exposed skin, wet tongue, and hard teeth marking up his neck and his chest. Eren’s teeth found his nipple, grazing it with a playful nip that sent a heated jolt down to his straining cock. He bucked into Eren, lips curving into a smile as his tongue teased the sensitive nub. 

“If you don’t hurry up and take my pants off I’m going to lose it,” Levi said, voice strained and breathy.

Eren hummed against him, his hand trailing down to the bulge trapped inside Levi’s pants. “I’ve waited too long for this,” he said, palming his cock over his jeans. “I’m taking my time with you.”

There was no way Eren wanted this for as long as he had, that didn’t seem possible. And yet he said those words and they sounded so good that Levi didn’t want to question them, not now anyway. So Levi sighed, his head falling back into the mattress, eyes fluttering shut. It felt too good, too surreal. 

“Eren,” Levi moaned as he continued to tease his straining length, Eren’s tongue trailing hot kisses down his stomach.

Eren looked up at him with hooded eyes that were hungry with desire, making Levi shiver with want. Nobody had ever looked at him like that before and it thrilled him to be able to have such an effect on somebody else like he held some kind of power over him. Wanting to exert that power, Levi grabbed a handful of Eren’s loose hair, pulling it back so that Eren was fully gazing at him with wide, blown out eyes.

“I want you,” Levi practically growled. “Now.”

A slow smirk spread across Eren’s lips and his fingers were suddenly unclasping his jeans, pulling them down and setting his throbbing erection free. Unlike the night before, Eren completely pulled off his pants, throwing them across the room, leaving him completely naked against the white sheets.

Eren grabbed the bottle of lube and poured some into his hand, slickening up his fingers. Levi knew what was going to happen next, having seen his fair share of porn when he wasn’t sure if he liked men or women. But that didn’t mean he was mentally prepared for the feeling of Eren spreading his legs apart, his lubed up fingers tracing the outline of his entrance.

“Relax,” Eren murmured, clearly sensing Levi’s sudden hesitance. “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

And Levi believed him. Relaxing into the mattress, he watched as Eren hovered over him, his finger pressing slowly into him. It burned at first, and he bit his lip as his skin stretched with resistance. But as Eren slowly worked his finger into him, an electric heat started to surge throughout his body. And then he was adding another finger, stretching him further, pushing in deeper, filling him up.

“God,” Eren breathed, leaning down to press his lips against Levi’s jaw. “You’re so fucking tight.”

And he was. He could feel just how tight he was as Eren continued to work him open and he wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to handle Eren’s thick cock inside of him. But then Eren suddenly hit his prostate, sending a wave of hot pleasure through his body, making him moan loudly. He wanted  _ more _ .

“Fuck,” Levi cried, grabbing on to Eren’s back, his nails digging into his skin. How could something feel so fucking good? His bliss-filled mind couldn’t comprehend it.

“There you are,” Eren murmured, teasing that sweet spot over and over with his fingers.

While Eren’s fingers felt heavenly inside of him, Levi needed more, wanted to feel all of Eren filling him up. His hand reached out for Eren’s jaw, pushing him back so he could look him in the eye.

“Hurry up and fuck me already,” Levi rasped between heavy breaths.

“So eager,” Eren teased with a smirk, removing his fingers, leaving Levi empty.

Frowning at the absence, he watched Eren stand up to take off his jeans, letting his lengthy erection spring free. Eren looked down at Levi, running his hand up and down his cock as he reached for a condom. Completely entranced by Eren’s beauty as he stroked himself, his hair a mess and cheeks flushed with desire, Levi bit at his lip, wondering how he managed to get so lucky by getting to experience his first time with someone like Eren. It just didn’t seem real.

But it was  _ real _ , and Eren was slipping the condom on, slicking himself up with lube. His heart fluttered with nervousness as Eren crawled back on the bed, pulling Levi up to him, pushing his legs apart. He lined himself up with his entrance and pushed into him, half-lidded eyes never leaving his as his hole burned and stretched in protest. Levi hissed, his fingers digging into soft flesh as pain ripped through his lower half, his body tensing around Eren’s cock.

Sensing his discomfort, Eren slowed his advances, leaning down to steal Levi’s lips away into a heated kiss, their tongues gliding over each other in a slow and steady dance. Distracted by the sweet taste of his mouth, the pain a soft ache in the background of his mind, Eren continued to push into him until he was completely buried inside.

“You good?” he asked, his hot breath fanning his lips.

“I can handle the pain,” Levi breathed his body longing for friction despite the harsh strain. “Just get on with it.”

Eren did as he was told, slowly inching out and back in again, Levi’s nails grating into his shoulder blade. After several agonizingly slow pumps, the burning ache started to fade, replaced with a sweet, mind-numbing pressure that filled him up. Wanting more, Levi lifted himself further off the mattress, his hands gripping at Eren’s hips, pulling him deeper.

“Harder,” Levi commanded, needy hands squeezing Eren’s ass.

“Fuck. Yes,” Eren growled into his neck and began to quicken his pace, his hips snapping with sudden urgency. 

It didn’t take him long to find his prostate again and the heavenly pressure of his cock pressing against it made Levi cry out. Each pump of Eren’s hips sent delicious heat throughout Levi’s body, making his head swim, his hole clenching tightly around Eren’s cock.

“Shit, Levi,” Eren rasped, his voice broken and ragged. “You feel so fucking good.”

The praise made his skin warm and his eyes fell shut as Eren bit down on his neck, his tongue hungrily lapping at his sweat-covered skin, making him moan out in pleasure. Every little flick of his tongue, every thrust of his hips filled Levi up with the heady desire that drowned him, pulling him under the weight of his bliss.

With each angled thrust relentlessly hitting his sweet spot over and over again, Levi’s body shook as pressure built up in his cock, precum leaking out onto his stomach. His entire being was consumed with a new, euphoric sensation, and all Levi could do was hold onto Eren’s back, afraid that if he let go he would slip away from the dreamlike bliss that was swallowing him whole.

It was all so new, too unfamiliar that Levi didn’t know what to do with himself. The uncertainty made his stomach clench, but Eren’s musky scent and husky moans kept him grounded, holding him together as he focused solely on the way Eren made every nerve of his body light up with fire. 

Eren moaned against the curve of Levi’s neck, his teeth hungrily marking up his skin as his hands possessively gripped at Levi’s hips, driving into him deeper and deeper. A sinful heat was building rapidly inside of him and each desperate thrust sent him closer to the edge.

“Eren, I’m so close.”

Those words were all that was needed for Eren to grab hold of Levi’s cock. He thumbed the precum off his tip, tugging at his length as he continued to abuse his prostate, slamming against Levi’s hips. It all felt too much, the blinding tension in his core spilling over, sending hot waves of bliss throughout his body. Levi cried out, his fingers digging into Eren as his body jerked with each teasing pull of Eren’s hand.

“Fuck,” he gasped against Eren’s shoulder, biting at his skin as the overwhelming sensations left him reeling. His hole clamped down around Eren’s cock and Levi’s whole body tensed as a guttural moan left his lips, hot cum spilling out of his cock and onto his stomach.

Levi’s head fell back onto the mattress as he emptied himself, his body tingling and hot and filled to the brim with Eren, his blown out eyes pinning him to the bed. One of his hands tightly gripped Levi’s hip, angrily indenting his skin, while the other shot out to cradle the back of his neck, his thumb pressing gently against his throat.

He thrust into Levi several more times, the feeling overwhelming as he came down from his orgasm and his eyes fluttered closed as he tried to block out the staggering sensations coursing through his body. 

Before it became too much, Eren’s grip on his neck tightened, making him open his eyes to see the unadulterated look of lust deepening already dark green eyes. Eren cried out with a curse, hissing sharply as he bucked into Levi, his body stilling as he came inside of him, his warmth filling him up.

Eren’s grip loosened, and he lowered himself to Levi, his lips crashing against his in a hungry kiss as his cock twitched inside of him. A low moan vibrated against Levi’s mouth, his chest filling with an unfamiliar warmth that made his bones soft.

Eren finally pulled away, green eyes half-lidded, cheeks pink from exertion, and a soft smile curving his bruised lips as he left Levi empty.

“Let me clean you up,” Eren said, standing up and moving off towards the bathroom.

Propping himself up with his elbows, he looked down at himself and frowned at the puddle of cum smeared across his stomach. Gross.

He let his head fall back down on the mattress and he brought his arm up to block the light from his eyes. Without Eren’s warm presence to distract him from his thoughts, a cold uncertainty came crashing down on him. Even though Eren was only gone a minute, it felt like forever as Levi’s clouded mind began to stir with a hundred little  _ what-ifs.  _ But the most prevalent one stayed at the forefront of his mind.

What if Eren never wanted to do that with him again? The thought made him feel more empty than when Eren had pulled out of him, making his skin prickle with a coldness that chilled his bones. At some point, Eren would leave for Germany and Levi would remain in New York. Where would that leave them?

“Hey,” Eren said, drawing Levi’s attention away from the darkness brewing in his mind. He stood next to the bed with a wet towel in his hand, a worried expression deepening his brow. “You good?” He sat down next to him, running the warm towel over his stomach, wiping away the evidence of their bliss.

“Yeah,” he lied, unable to tell Eren the true thoughts swirling through his mind.

Silence enveloped them as Eren finished cleaning him up, the tender touch of his hands thawing out some of the cold dread festering under his skin. He wasn’t sure how these things were normally supposed to go, what was said or done in the aftermath. So when Eren finally pulled away, Levi sat up next to him, searching for an answer to a question he wasn’t sure how to ask.

What the hell did all of this mean?

Before he could muster the courage to ask, Eren tossed the towel onto the ground and pulled Levi down onto the bed. Suddenly enclosed in Eren’s warmth, he found himself relaxing once more as his head rested against the crook of his shoulder, his worries seemingly melting away.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Eren murmured as he looked up at the ceiling. 

_ Really _ ? Levi wanted to ask. He seemed pretty confident that it would happen, never skipping a beat, even when Levi hesitated. Levi simply hummed in agreement, at a loss for words.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he huffed, looking away from Eren’s probing gaze.

“You sure?”

“Why do you keep asking?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell what you’re thinking right now. You’re really hard to read.”

Levi sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m just thinking about what this all means for us.”

Eren shrugged next to him, Levi’s head rising and falling with the small movement. “Whatever you want it to mean.”

He opened his eyes, turning his head to scowl at him. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“I mean… I don’t know,” he stuttered and then sighed “I like you... I kind of have for a long time.”

Levi stiffened, the scowl on his face morphing into an expression of pure shock. Eren, like him? For a long time? It didn’t seem possible. Every moment they shared before Eren went off to college played back in his mind—scanning—looking for any clue that could prove his claim was true. Sure, Eren had always been nice to Levi, but he never thought anything of it before then. But then he remembered Eren saying how he’d been wanting to do that for so long and it all made sense.

“Why act on it now?” Levi asked, skeptical.

“You never seemed interested before.”

That’s where Eren was wrong. Levi had always been interested in him, but he was too scared to show it, too anxious to let someone in. It’s why he kept up his wall for so long, why he kept people at arm's length. But with the quarantine tearing down his defenses, it left him wide open for the taking, allowing Eren to get too close far too quickly. And now he felt exposed and vulnerable next to the one who held his heart in his hands.

“I’ve always been interested in you,” he admitted, looking down at the closeness of their bodies, his heart fluttering nervously at the admission.

“Shit, seriously?” Eren sighed, his hand reaching out for Levi’s, their fingers intertwining together, easing some of the uncertainty brewing in his gut. “I can’t believe it took us this long to get here.”

“No point dwelling on it,” Levi said, peering up at Eren, who was looking down at him with softness in his eyes.

“Yeah,” he hummed, resting his cheek against the top of Levi’s head. “So what now?”

Levi paused, thinking. His body felt spent, needing to be recharged. “We make some lunch. I’m fucking starving.”

“Okay!” Eren beamed, scooting away so they could get up.

He got dressed and Levi followed suit, his body aching in all the right ways and his heart was featherlight in his chest. Everything felt so surreal, and he was sure he was going to wake up from a dream at any moment. 

But he never did. And as he went about making lunch with Eren at his side, joking and laughing about Eren’s terrible cooking skills, everything felt real and  _ right _ . If he could, he wanted to stay just like that forever, even if he knew it was impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the kudos/comments/bookmarks and all that good stuff. Ya'll are the best <3  
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri scenes (:


	5. runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo~~  
> Sooo turns out I have COVID! Weeeee~~~  
> Which is both a blessing and a curse?  
> It's a curse because I feel like absolute dog shit-  
> It's a blessing because I'm not allowed to leave my apartment so I've had nothing but time to write, which is why I was able to get this chapter updated early. Yaaay!  
> I figured ya'll deserve an early update since I was so late with my last one.  
> Thanks everyone for your support <3 Appreciate the hell out of ya'll (:

Nothing made sense.

Now that he had come down from his high, Levi laid in bed, the clock on his phone reading 6:02 AM, his mind playing on repeat as it over analyzed every little interaction he shared with Eren. The fact that he confessed his feelings to Levi was hard for him to wrap his head around. It didn’t seem possible.

Perhaps he was being unfair to himself, but he couldn’t imagine what Eren saw in him, especially since he’d seen the type of people Eren was attracted to. Normally he dated the tall pretty boy types, the kind of guy that looked like they had nothing going on upstairs. He was pretty sure he had heard Mikasa refer to them as  _ himbos  _ before. Whatever the fuck that meant.

But despite all that, Eren was still lying beside him, breathing softly next to his ear, his warm arm draped over his side. He was in  _ his  _ bed, not somebody else's. That had to mean something, right?

But even if it did mean something, would it last? Eren had a terrible track record with relationships and Levi had never even been with  _ anyone  _ before. Surely their relationship was doomed to fail before it even began.

Not wanting to dwell on such thoughts any longer, Levi forced himself out of bed, careful not to disrupt Eren’s peaceful slumber. He would let him sleep in—It was his birthday after all.

Quickly getting dressed in his usual running gear, he checked the weather and decided to toss on a heavier jacket to try and combat the still chilly temperatures. Before he left his room, he threw a quick glance back at Eren, his chest filling up with warmth at the sight of him tangled up in his white sheets.

After staring for a moment too long, he reluctantly tore himself away, slipping his shoes on and heading downstairs to the near-empty lobby. Ever since the pandemic started, his apartment building felt quieter than it ever had before. The gym and pool had been closed off, and the lobby staff was nowhere to be seen except for when they occasionally went around to sanitize the doors. Even the elevators were quiet, most people staying in the confines of their apartment, not daring to venture outside due to the strict regulations that the governor had placed on the city. Levi didn’t blame them, he really didn’t see the point in going outside, the only reason he could justify it was for getting food and exercise.

The city outside his building was empty—still, and quiet underneath the dark sky. The sun was still hiding behind the horizon, the faintest of light turning the sky hazy indigo, the street lights hiding away the stars. 

For a city that never sleeps, it was surprisingly peaceful, the quarantine making the normally bustling streets a quiet reflection of what they once were before everything was shut down. Levi didn’t mind it. In fact, he appreciated the emptiness.

He slipped his earbuds into place, playing Moonrise Kingdom by Angel Haze, the slow-building song setting the pace for his run. He started off jogging down the sidewalk, the early morning breeze chilling his face. As the song picked up, so too did his speed, his legs carrying him swiftly through the city, muscles burning with each powerful stride.

It felt good having his lungs gasping for the cold air, body straining with the exertion. It cleared his mind, eased his worries into the back of his head as he focused on the adrenaline coursing through his veins, music blaring in his headphones.

All of his worries, insecurities, and anxieties—he would seal them tightly inside a jar and hide it away for later. It was Eren’s birthday, and he wanted to put all his energy into making sure he had a good day. The worries he had in regards to what their relationship meant could be figured out at a different time.

When he finished his usual circuit and returned to his building, he had a clear head and a calm heart. He snuck back into his apartment, relieved to see that Eren was still sleeping, not having woken up to an empty home while Levi was away. 

Covered in grimy sweat, he opted for a shower, letting the hot water ease his aching muscles and steal away his filth. For the first time all week, he felt at peace and it was strangely weird, not having his usual anxious thoughts eating away at his mind. A small part of his brain told him there was something wrong with that but he quickly pushed the thought away, not wanting to spoil his good mood.

Having some time left before work, Levi brewed a pot of coffee for Eren and a cup of English Breakfast for himself. Trying to decide what to make for breakfast, Levi stood in front of his fridge, eyes scanning over each option, unsatisfied with his choices. 

It was then that he remembered Eren begging him to buy a bunch of junk food at the grocery store, indicating he had a sweet tooth. While Levi wasn’t a huge fan of having sugar for breakfast, he figured he’d treat Eren to something delicious and just as unhealthy for his special day.

The rich smell of butter and sugar soon filled the kitchen as Levi prepared a hot batch of chocolate chip pancakes. As if beckoned by the smell, Eren came padding into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and hair a mess, wearing nothing but a loose T-shirt and his boxer briefs. Levi peeked over at him, unable to stop the soft smile from forming on his lips in greeting. 

“Are those… pancakes?” Eren asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god,” he said, stepping over to where Levi stood by the stovetop. “I love pancakes, how did you know?”

Levi shrugged. “Lucky guess.”

Taking him by surprise, Eren grinned and pulled him into a warm embrace. Levi rested his cheek against his chest, letting his eyes close in contentment at the gesture.

“Happy birthday,” he murmured, forcing himself to return the hug, arms coming up to circle his waist. Giving hugs wasn’t normally something he did and while the gesture felt weird, it also felt right.

“Thanks,” Eren said, pulling away, green eyes glistening.

“Here,” Levi said, plating up a stack of pancakes, handing it over to Eren who happily took them. He did the same for himself, digging out a bottle of syrup from the pantry before joining Eren at the kitchen island.

Levi took a sip of his hot tea as he watched Eren dig into the pancakes, silently hoping that they didn’t taste like shit. He rarely made such things, never having a craving for something so sugary for breakfast. But pancakes were pretty easy to make and he imagined it would be kind of hard to fuck them up.

“‘S so good,” Eren said around a mouthful.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s gross,” Levi said, hiding his smirk at the compliment behind his teacup.

Eren rolled his eyes and stuck out his chocolate-covered tongue, wiping the smirk right off Levi's face, a grimace replacing it

“Are you not going to eat?” Eren eventually asked, eyeing Levi as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Watching you eat made me lose my appetite.”

“Oh. Then you won’t mind if I eat yours too,” he said, reaching for Levi’s plate.

His hands were greeted with a hard smack and a disapproving frown. “Fat chance,” he said, grabbing his fork and cutting off a piece. The sugary cake practically melted in his mouth, the sweetness of the chocolate the perfect pairing with his bitter black tea. Why didn’t he make these things more often? They were fucking delicious.

“But it’s my birthday,” Eren pouted, playfully jutting out his lower lip. 

“You’re such a spoiled little brat, you know that?” Levi admonished with a scoff but found himself giving in to Eren’s antics anyway. He took one of his pancakes and slid it over to Eren’s empty plate.

Eren beamed that all too bright smile at him, stealing his breath away. It was difficult trying to keep away the soft smile that threatened to curve his lips. Eren’s joy was too contagious.

“You’re the best.”

“Yeah, well, don’t say I never did anything nice for you,” Levi looked away, feeling uncomfortable with the compliment. “What are you going to do while I’m working?” he asked, shifting the attention away from himself.

Eren shrugged. “Probably should log into my school stuff and figure out what’s going on there. Other than that, I don’t know.”

Levi hummed as he started to clean up their now empty plates, bringing them over to the dishwasher. “You still don’t know if they’re going virtual?”

“They hinted at it in an e-mail over the weekend. And my friends said that they were advised to stay home today, despite classes starting up again, so I’m assuming that we will be.”

“So will you be staying here then?” Levi asked, hating how desperate his question sounded as soon as it left his lips. 

Eren gave him a soft, almost sad smile. “I don’t know.”

“Right,” Levi sighed, turning away to focus on washing the dishes, reminding himself to shove those troublesome worries back into the jar for later.

“Hey,” Eren said, drawing back his attention. Levi looked up at him, craning his neck back as he stepped towards him. “Let’s just enjoy this while we can, hm?” he brought his hand up to Levi’s jaw, cupping the side of his face as he pressed his lips onto his in a soft, slow kiss. His lips were bittersweet like chocolate and coffee and the taste warmed his skin, stealing away whatever worries he may have had about Eren and his untimely departure.

Eren was right—there was no point fretting over the inevitable. They had to enjoy what little time they had together while they could.

When Eren finally broke their kiss, it was several minutes past his clock-in time. Levi’s eyes flicked over to the clock over the stove and frowned. “I gotta go,” he sighed. “I’ll see you for lunch.”

He left Eren in the kitchen, his body still tingling from his touch, and closed himself off into his office where it was still and far too quiet. He flipped the light switch on and opened the blinds, revealing a beautifully sunny morning that brought abounding light into the small room. It was bright and warm and reminded him of Eren, making him smile into the empty space as he booted up his PC and logged into work.

It wasn’t long into his day before Petra came knocking at his virtual door.

**Petra 8:32 AM -** How was your weekend?!

Levi huffed at his computer screen, not really sure what to say. Where did he even start?

**Levi 8:34 AM -** It was good.

**Petra 8:35 AM -** omg u got laid didnt you

**Levi 8:36 AM -** How did you even draw that conclusion from “good”?

**Petra 8:36 AM -** cause its normally fine or shit or fuck off. ive never seen you say GOOD before!

Levi swallowed hard, feeling weird about discussing his sexual exploits with Eren to his friends. It was incredibly personal information and he knew that Petra and the others were going to make a big deal out of it. 

_ Hange Zoe has joined the chat. _

Great. Just what he needed first thing in the morning.

**Hange 8:37 AM -** SHORT STACK DID YOU GET LAID?!

**Levi 8:38 AM -** I don’t see how that’s any of your business, shitty glasses.

**Petra 8:38 AM -** omg u totally did didnt u

**Hange 8:39 AM -** YAHOOO! this is more exciting than when I found out that nearly three percent of the ice in the Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine~~~

**Levi 8:40 AM -** what the fuck?

**Hange 8:41 AM -** What?! It’s fascinating stuff!!

**Petra 8:41 AM -** it really is, honey but you know whats even more fascinating? Levi  _ liking  _ someone

Levi rolled his eyes at his screen.

**Levi 8:41 AM -** Is it  _ really  _ that fascinating, Petra? You know what’s really fascinating? Chapter ten of your manuscript. I find your character’s lack of brain cells truly and utterly  _ fascinating _ .

_ Erwin Smith joined the chat. _

Well, things couldn’t get much worse than they already were. Perhaps Erwin would bring some damn sense to this shitty conversation.

**Erwin 8:42 AM -** Levi has a point, Petra. I don’t believe the protagonist’s decision. Their choice goes against all logic and reason.

Thank god for Erwin turning the attention away from him. He could kiss that man.

**Petra 8:43 AM -** What?! You guuuuuuuys. Its not supposed to. Hes supposed to be driven by his emotions, lost in the heat of the moment. Isnt that obvious?

**Levi 8:44 AM -** Not really

**Erwin 8:44 AM -** Why does your character decide to do something so reckless? We need to see that in the text, feel it being reflected in the words. 

**Petra 8:45 AM -** Ugh. ok ill look at it today

**Erwin 8:45 AM -** Good. Looking forward to the revision.

**Erwin 8:45 AM -** Oh. And I suppose congratulations are in order, Levi. Glad things worked out between you and your man.

_ Erwin Smith has left the chat. _

**Petra 8:46 AM -** heh heh heh. Looks like you owe me 20 bucks hange

**Hange 8:47 AM -** its worth the money, honey. Glad our little munchkin finally had his chamber of secrets explored

**Petra 8:47 AM -** finally did the dirty. Little levi is all grown up

**Hange 8:48 AM -** finally played a game of hide the German sausage 8=D

**Petra 8:48 AM -** got his biscuit buttered ;)

**Hange 8:48 AM -** he opened the gates to mordor :O

**Petra 8:49 AM -** went spelunking into the bat cave >:)

**Hange 8:49 AM -** made the beast with two backs owo

**Petra 8:49 AM -** while doing the horizontal monster mash~!~!

Levi buried his face into his hands, groaning. What was wrong with these women? He dropped his hands onto the keyboard and shook his head, trying to see his way out of this mess.

**Levi 8:50 AM -** If only you two put this much creativity into your writing. Jesus.

**Petra 8:50 AM -** aawww don’t be mad Levi!!! were happy for you :D

**Hange 8:51 AM -** yup! cant wait to someday meet the man that stole your heart <3

He rolled his eyes, knowing that they’d never be able to. Eren would be long gone by the time they’d be allowed to meet up in person.

**Levi 8:51 AM -** I’m not letting you anywhere near him. You’ll scare him away with your craziness.

**Hange 8:52 AM -** YEAH RIGHT! If he can handle you, then he can totally handle meee. i’m a charmer~

**Petra 8:52 AM -** yeah levi, you cant hide him from us. This is too important

**Levi 8:53 AM -** I’m not hiding him?

**Hange 8:53 AM -** Oooo could we facetime with him later?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

**Petra 8:54 AM -** yesss omg that would be a m a z i n g

**Levi 8:55 AM -** No. Absolutely not. End of discussion. I’m leaving now.

He quickly clicked out of the chat, annoyance festering under the surface. They really couldn’t leave shit alone, could they? Now he was feeling flustered all over again, dreading the impetuous thoughts that came slithering into his mind. Eren was leaving, no doubt about it. What was the point in showing him off to his friends if he wasn’t even going to be staying around? It would get their hopes up, along with his own. There was no point in it.

Groaning to nobody but himself, he poured his time and energy into his work, ignoring the festering anxiety crawling up his neck, tightening his throat. Even as he focused on reading Petra’s revisions, his mind was elsewhere, diving deep into memories he wanted nothing more than to forget.

Lost in the sea of his past, he remembered the faceless men and women his Uncle Kenny would bring home. Countless people without names swinging into his life like a pendulum every couple of months. Some of them tried to get close to Levi, playing nice, making him feel like they genuinely  _ cared _ , while others ignored him like he wasn’t even there. Levi didn’t know which one was worse.

But those strangers never lasted long, a mere notch on Kenny’s bedpost. They would live in his tiny apartment for a month or two, sometimes even three if they were lucky, always giving Levi a false sense of security at first. But as time passed, and the trend remained, Levi stopped holding out hope that they would stay, stopped remembering their names and their faces because it was easier that way. Because after a while, Levi learned that people always left, always took away whatever routine they established in his life when they disappeared out the door and never came back.

And Eren would do the same. Eventually, whether he wanted it or not, it would happen. And that scared Levi more than he cared to admit.

By the time he clocked out for lunch, the jar in his mind had been smashed open, glass shards and broken promises lying sharply against his skull. Everything he was trying to suppress laid bare in front of him, staring him dead in the face in the reflection of his computer monitor. The coldness in his own eyes made his chest ache, tight and constricting as he tried to breathe through the hurt clenching his gut.

This was why he didn’t do relationships. This was why he put so much distance between himself and others. It was because people were unreliable. They came and went as they pleased with no regard to Levi’s feelings. And as much as he hated to admit it, Eren was no different. It would’ve been better—easier—to never have shared their feelings with one another. If they had just remained friends, never stepping over the line, things wouldn’t have to be so damn painful. But they did, and it was. Which made having to face Eren in the living room all the more difficult. 

“Hey!” Eren perked up from his laptop, his welcoming smile fading and his brow deepening as he took in Levi’s hardened expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Levi said, shaking his head and heading towards the kitchen. This wasn’t something he wanted to discuss on Eren’s birthday. It wouldn’t be fair to him. 

“I can see that’s not true,” Eren said, putting his laptop onto the coffee table and following Levi into the kitchen.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“If something’s bothering you, I think you should.”

Levi sighed, closing the refrigerator door a little too hard. He tossed a bag of lunch meat and cheese onto the countertop and looked up at Eren, frowning. “What are you, my shrink now?”

“What? No,” Eren scowled, taken aback. “Why are you being so defensive?”

“Why don’t you mind your own business.” The words came out harsher than he intended and when he looked up at Eren there was hurt in his eyes, making him instantly regret his tone.

“Did I do something wrong?” 

Levi set down his knife onto the countertop with a clank, his steely gaze meeting with Eren’s fiery one. The brat just kept pushing, didn’t he? And Levi’s walls were starting to crumble because of it. “Yeah, you can't leave shit alone.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” His brows deepened, green eyes lighting up with anger.

That was it. Eren's petulant tone sent him over the edge, his teeth grinding in irritation. Levi was fed up with him prying and couldn’t hold back his annoyance anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. “It means you’re always pushing and  _ forcing  _ things to change, to go your way, when you should just leave them be. Sometimes things are just  _ fine  _ the way they are.”

“You don’t really believe that do you?”

Levi narrowed his gaze at him, holding firm.

“So, what? You wish I wouldn’t have pursued you then?”

“It would’ve been easier in the long run, yeah.”

“So that’s how you feel?” Eren's scowl deepened and he looked away. “So… what? I’m not worth the risk then? After everything that happened this weekend, you’re saying it would’ve been better to just live without that? To just hide behind walls and whimsically dream about the what-ifs?”

“I’m not talking to you about this right now,” Levi sighed, taking his sandwich and making for his office.

“Yes you are,” Eren said, grabbing his arm and yanking him around. “You can’t just drop that on me and walk away.”

“The hell I can,” Levi growled, eying Eren’s tight grip on his forearm. “Let go of me.”

Eren’s eyes flashed. “No. What the fuck is going on Levi? Why are you running away from me?”

“Why do you keep pushing? I told you I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, ripping his forearm out of Eren’s hand, turning away.

He made it to his office but Eren was right on his heels, breaking into his sanctuary with his overbearing presence, making the room feel tight and far too small. “Because this is important. I want to know what you’re thinking Levi, the good and the bad.”

“Well you don’t always get what you want, Eren,” he said, turning his back and placing his sandwich next to his computer, childishly hoping that if he didn’t look at Eren, he would simply leave. If only he were that lucky. 

Eren grabbed Levi’s shoulder, turning him around to look at him, their chests mere inches apart from each other as fiery green eyes bared down on him, stealing the breath right out of his lungs. “What are you so scared of?” Eren asked, his voice a low growl.

Levi’s whole body tensed up under Eren’s intense stare and firm grip. What was he scared of? Wasn’t it obvious? He licked his lips, tasting the electric tension radiating between them on his tongue. 

“Losing you,” Levi finally said, voice strangled as those two words left his lips and he cursed his vocal chords for failing him.

Eren’s eyes widened ever so slightly at his admission and before he could say anything more, he shoved Levi firmly against the desk, his ass pushing uncomfortably into the hard edge as Eren pressed his lips fiercely against his own. His hot tongue forced its way into his mouth and he gasped in surprise as Eren’s long fingers tugged at his hair.

That sinful piercing pressed sensually into his tongue as Eren dominated his mouth, making it near impossible to breathe. Eren’s teeth teased his bottom lip, and Levi’s cock throbbed against his thigh as he sucked at it. When he finally pulled away, Levi was gasping for breath, his lips bruised and swollen from Eren’s heated kiss.

“You don’t want to lose this?” he asked, biting his own lip as he looked down at Levi with half-lidded eyes.

“Eren…” Levi sighed between breaths, eyes narrowing. This is not how he wanted to talk about this. It was bad enough that his wall was crumbling at Eren’s insistence, now his mind was muddled with the taste of Eren on his tongue.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, squeezing Levi’s hip as he trailed hot kisses down his neck, teeth grazing against his soft flesh.

“But you will eventually,” Levi said, annoyed with how dismissive Eren was being. 

Eren growled softly against his collarbone, his fingers reaching up to unbutton his shirt, pushing the fabric over his shoulder to expose his skin to the cold air. The warmth of his lips made him shiver, goosebumps prickling his skin. 

“So? Why can’t we just enjoy this while it lasts?” he asked, pushing Levi onto the desk so his back was pressed against the hardwood and his legs came up to hug Eren’s hips. He hovered over him, grinding against his bulge. Despite how annoyed he was, he couldn’t stop himself from moaning as their straining erections pressed against each other. 

“I know you want this,” Eren murmured into his ear, his soft tongue teasing his lobe. He took the sensitive skin between his teeth and sharply tugged.

Levi groaned, his hands digging into Eren’s hair, burying his fingers in the silky strands. Needing to put some space between them, to clear his flustered mind, he pulled him harshly away, breaking the spell Eren’s sensual tongue had put him under.

“That doesn’t change anything.”

Eren hissed as he strained against Levi’s pulling fingers, his hands reaching up to grab his wrists, forcing Levi to let go. He held his wrists together in one hand, pinning them above his head against the desk.

“It doesn’t?” he teased, sucking hard on Levi’s neck. There was no doubt in his mind that there would be purple bruises all over his skin once Eren was done with him.

“No,” he breathed, struggling to keep his thoughts straight as Eren’s touch lit up his skin and stole his breath away.

“So you don’t want this?” Eren asked, his free hand trailing down to the bulge trapped inside his pants, teasing fingers pressing against his erection. Instinctively Levi bucked into his hand, hating how his body responded so easily to Eren’s touch.

The air in his throat was trapped and he couldn’t find any words to speak. Eren raised a curious brow at him, those skilled fingers undoing the clasp to his pants. He jerked the fabric aside, freeing his cock from its harsh restraints. Unable to stop himself, Levi cried out as Eren grabbed hold of him and gave him an experimental tug.

“Seems like you want it,” he cooed, licking the line of his jaw as he worked his length up and down. Levi shivered against his touch, heat pooling in his center as pressure started to build in his cock.

“God,” Levi sighed, his eyes fluttering shut as Eren’s hot tongue flicked across his nipple, the hard press of his piercing teasing the sensitive nub. “I do want this. It’s just—” he was cut off with a gasp as Eren squeezed his cock a little harder.

“Just what?” He asked, his lips curving against his skin.

“This makes things harder,” Levi finally managed to say, his mouth going dry as Eren hovered over him, eyes blown wide with lust.

“True,” Eren smirked. “You’re hard as fuck for me.”

“Not what I meant,” Levi growled, rolling his eyes as he pulled his wrists against Eren’s tight grip, his body quivering with unsupressable pleasure. Despite his efforts, Eren refused to let go, pushing him hard against the desk, his lips coming down to capture his in a hungry kiss that left him reeling.

“Fine. Why does this make things harder?” Eren murmured against Levi’s lips, his hot breath warming his skin.

Levi turned his cheek to Eren, looking past him towards the bookshelf leaning against the wall as he tried to collect his thoughts. “The more we do this, the harder it will be to say goodbye.”

Eren straightened up, letting go of Levi’s wrists. Finally having the freedom to move again, he sat up on the desk, letting his legs fall from Eren’s hips. A moment of silence stretched between them as Eren processed his words and Levi wasn’t sure if he was ever going to speak again.

But then Eren was pulling him off of the desk and pushing his unbuttoned shirt down to the floor. In a swift and fluid movement, he turned Levi over and pressed him face first into the desk. “Then we won’t ever say goodbye,” he said, his heavy chest pressing against his back, his voice gravely against the shell of his ear as his hot breath tickled the nape of his neck. “Because I don’t want to ever stop doing this.”

“Eren—” Levi started to say but he was quickly cut off by Eren pulling down his pants, his large hand grasping his bare ass with a resounding slap. Levi hissed at the sharp pain that spread through his cheek, surprised at how it made his cock twitch with want. God, he wanted to feel more, both the pain and pleasure that came from Eren fucking him without restraint.

“I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you,” Eren murmured, against his back, soft lips feathering kisses across his skin.

He pulled away and there was a clicking sound as Eren rummaged with something in hands. Just as he turned to look to see what Eren was doing, his long and slick fingers were tracing his entrance, pushing inside of him and filling him up one at a time. 

“Fuck,” Levi hissed as his hole stretched open for him, those curious fingers immediately finding his prostate. They pressed against it, sending waves of heat coursing through his veins.

“And I know you want me too,” Eren said. His other hand reached for Levi’s chin, forcing him to look back at him while he fucked him from behind with his fingers. “Say you want me.”

“I want you Eren,” he moaned, pushing himself off of the desk so he could steal Eren’s lips away in a kiss, his tongue slipping into the warm wetness of his mouth, relishing in his sweet taste. When he broke away, he bit at Eren’s bottom lip, groaning as Eren slipped another slicked up finger inside of him, making him fill with delicious pressure. “I want you so fucking bad.”

“God, yes,” he groaned, pushing Levi back down against the desk, his hand holding him into place. “So sehe ich Dich gerne.”

Those foreign words sent a shiver down his spine and his whole body was tingling as Eren worked him open. Any previous annoyance or anxiety he may have been feeling was long gone, his body only capable of feeling the overwhelming bliss that coursed through his veins.

“Genau so... Du willst mehr, nicht wahr?” Eren asked, his sinful tongue teasing those exotic words in a haughty purr. Before Levi could respond, Eren was pulling his fingers out of him, his throat making a straining noise as he left him empty. Eren softly chuckled as he opened up a condom, slipping it over himself. “I love how responsive you are to me. It’s fucking hot.”

“And I love when you shut up and  _ fuck me already _ ,” Levi growled, impatienty waiting as Eren slicked up his cock with lube. 

Eren laughed, the sound deep and breathy. Without another word, he pressed his thick cock inside of Levi, stretching him and filling him up with a burning heat that made him tense, his hands harshly gripping the edge of the desk. 

The first two pumps were slow and gentle, preparing his hole for what was sure to come. Before he could ask for more, Eren quickened his pace, his hips slamming into his ass, making his body rock against the desk, the wood straining against their weight.

“Is this what you wanted?” he purred, his fingers snaking into Levi’s hair, harshly pulling it back.

Levi gasped, the sharp pain sending a jolt of pleasure down to his twitching cock, his mind unable to distinguish between the two sensations—it all felt too good. “Fuck, yes,” he moaned, his eyes falling closed as his mind drowned in the blissful feeling of Eren’s cock slamming against his prostate over and over again.

“Shit. I knew you’d like it rough,” Eren murmured, his other hand firmly squeezing his hip, his nails digging sharply into his soft skin.

“Eren,” Levi groaned, his hole quivering around Eren’s cock as he thrusted inside of him, hot desire coiling in his core—he was already so close. 

Eren let go of his hair, allowing his head to fall back against the desk, his forehead resting against it, his head swimming as Eren drowned out his senses.

Suddenly, he cried out as Eren’s open hand slapped his ass, his cock twitching as precum pooled at his tip. Unable to handle the blinding pressure clenching his core, he reached for his own cock and began to tug at it. He was so hard and so fucking close.

“You like that?” Eren purred.

“Yes,” Levi breathed, his eyes squeezing shut as Eren slapped his ass again. A throaty moan ripped from his throat and he came hard and fast, hot cum spilling into his hand as his body quaked against Eren’s desperate thrusts.

“God, yes, I’m going to cum,” Eren cried, his hands tightly gripping Levi’s hips, pulling him up against him as their bodies slicked together with sweat and lube. He slammed into him one final time, his body stilling as he expelled his orgasm inside of Levi, his cock twitching against his walls.

“Shit,” Eren breathed, pulling himself out of Levi with a sigh. He shivered at the emptiness left in Eren’s wake, his throat growling softly at the absence. “That was probably the hottest argument I’ve ever had before.”

Levi scoffed, pushing himself from the desk, his body weak and shaking in the aftermath of his bliss. Pushing through the dizziness in his skull, he reached for a tissue to wipe his dirty hands somewhat clean. “Is that not normal for you?”

Eren snorted, zipping up his jeans. “No way.”

Levi hummed, looking away from Eren’s bright eyes as he pulled on his shirt and pants, hating how his clothes stuck to his sweaty skin. It was a shame he didn’t have time for a quick shower before he had to go back to work.

“I meant what I said, by the way,” Eren said, moving to stand next to Levi, his hand reaching out for his arm, pulling his wandering attention back up to that too green stare. “That I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.”

Levi raised his brow at him, wanting nothing more than to believe him. But even if it was true, it wouldn’t change the fact that he was going to be leaving him when he had to go back to Germany. 

“That doesn’t change the reality of whatever the fuck our relationship is.”

“Yeah, I guess not,” Eren shrugged, his fingers lacing together with Levi’s. “But I wanna fight for this, whatever it is.”

Levi snorted, squeezing Eren’s hand. “Well if that means we get to keep fucking like that, then I won’t object.”

Eren smiled brightly like the sun, and it warmed up Levi’s aching body. Eren’s eyes flicked over to the clock on the wall and he pulled away, his smile fading from his face. “I’ll let you get to work.”

It was a quarter past one and he was already late from his lunch break. “Okay,” he nodded, knowing he didn’t have time to linger with Eren any longer. He sat down at his computer and Eren left the small office and closed the door behind him, leaving Levi alone to stew in the afterglow of his bliss.

Body still warm and tingling, he logged into work, the thought of Eren’s lips trailing kisses across his skin filling his mind, distracting him as he tried to finish out his work day. That little shit really knew how to win him over, didn’t he?

  
  


The rest of Eren’s birthday was relatively quiet and uneventful. After Eren finished up some of his homework, Levi cooked him dinner—spaghetti and meatballs—a traditional dish that he couldn’t fuck up even if he tried. And Eren seemed to like it well enough, eating two whole helpings and even finishing off what Levi couldn’t.

“How are you not fat?” Levi asked, watching with a frown as Eren shoveled pasta into his mouth.

“Uhh it’s called working out,” he scoffed around his fork. “You should try it sometime.”

“Are you forgetting that we literally went running the other day?”

Eren rolled his eyes. “Running doesn’t count. I’m talking about, like, lifting weights and stuff.”

“Try saying that again when you can actually keep up with me without huffing up a lung,” Levi said, taking a long sip from his chai. 

Before Eren could respond, his phone buzzed angrily against the table. He reached for it, his eyes flicking to the screen, and then over to Levi, an unsure expression deepening his brow.

“What?” Levi asked.

“My friends want to Facetime me,” he said, worrying his lip between his teeth.

“Okay,” Levi shrugged, not really sure what that had to do with him. 

Eren answered the phone, several different voices blaring over the speaker, making Eren smile brightly at the screen.

“Yoooo! Eren, miss you bro!” A deep voice said over the line.

“Don’t lie to him like that,” said a woman.

“Miss you guys too,” Eren said, smiling at his screen. 

Levi got up, grabbing the dirty plates and bringing them to the kitchen as several different voices talked at Eren. He turned on the sink, drowning out the noise as he began cleaning up from dinner, giving Eren privacy to catch up with his friends.

Once everything was cleaned up, he turned off the sink and dried off his hands with a clean dish towel. Before he could turn around, Eren was suddenly behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close. His phone was held up in front of his face and on the screen were five different faces that he’d seen before on Facebook all staring curiously at him.

“Guys, this is Levi,” Eren said. “Levi, this is Reiner, Bert, Annie, Historia, and Ymir.” He pointed out each one on the screen as he stated their names. Levi tensed at the unexpected introduction, not really knowing what the fuck he was supposed to say.

“Hey,” he managed, not having any clue where he was supposed to look as too many pairs of eyes were staring at him across the fuzzy screen.

“Woah, bro, is this your new boyfriend?” Reiner asked, his German accent thick across the speaker.

Not expecting that question, Levi turned to look at Eren, a question in his brow.

Eren smiled sheepishly at him, clearly just as uncomfortable with the question as he was. It wasn't like they established what their relationship was yet. “Something like that,” he said.

“Doesn’t look your type,” Annie said with a huff, making Levi stiffen. He pulled away from Eren and walked into the living room, not wanting anything to do with their conversation.

“You can’t say that Annie, he can literally hear you,” Historia admonished.

“Well, she’s not wrong,” Ymir said.

“Oh my god, shut up guys. You don’t know what you're talking about, he’s totally my type,” Eren said, still standing in the kitchen as he scowled at his phone.

“Okay,” Annie scoffed. Levi could practically hear the eye roll in her voice.

“Good for you, bro. Glad you took my advice and got laid.” He could hear Reiner’s brash voice from the other room and Levi shook his head, realizing his friends from Germany were just as annoying as his friends back home. Figures.

Eren continued his conversation with his friends for several more minutes while Levi read his book on the couch. For the most part, their conversation was pretty moronic, holding no conversational substance whatsoever, which reminded him a lot of his most recent conversations with Hange and Petra. This pandemic really had everyone going crazy, huh?

Finally wrapping up his call, Eren came into the living room, sitting down next to Levi. “Sorry about them,” he said, his cheeks blushing a soft pink.

“It’s fine.”

“They’re not always that annoying. They just miss me and like giving me shit.”

“Apparently,” Levi snorted, closing his book and setting it off to the side. “Did you have an okay birthday?”

“Yeah. It was different, but I’m glad I was able to spend it with you,” Eren said, a soft smile cresting his lips.

Levi looked away as guilt welled up in his stomach. He knew he could’ve done better, put in more effort to make Eren’s special day a great one, but he had dropped the ball when he let his past get to him. And as he sat there next to Eren in the quietness of his apartment, he felt the need to explain himself, to open up. “I’m sorry about earlier. I really didn’t want to bring down the mood on your birthday but…”

“But?” Eren prompted, waiting with wide, expectant eyes.

Levi sighed, not having a clue how to say what he needed to, the words impossible to find. He sat there for a moment, looking down at his fists as he wracked his brain, willing the words onto his lips. 

“The people in my life always leave. Aside from my shitty Uncle, I’ve never had a constant person in my life, and even he left when I was old enough,” he looked away, hating the way his throat tightened as he opened up his heart to Eren. “That’s why I’ve never been in a relationship, why I don’t usually put myself out there. I just don’t wanna lose you too.”

“ _ Oh shit, _ ” Eren breathed, scooting closer to Levi, his hand brushing delicately against his clenched fist. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried like I did.”

“No,” Levi shook his head. “It’s probably good that you did. I wouldn’t have told you otherwise. And it would’ve just festered and gotten worse.”

“I know you’re worried about me leaving, but as long as I’m able, I want to stay here with you”

Levi’s heart fluttered, his hand opening up to let Eren’s fingers intertwine with his. “And when you do have to leave?”

Eren shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll figure it out when we get there. But for now, I just wanna stay here, with you.”

A rare smile curved Levi’s lips as he brought his eyes up to Eren’s. “I’d like that.”

Eren matched his smile, draping his arm around Levi’s shoulder and pulling him into his side. “Good, cause I’m not going anywhere.”

And as Eren turned on Netflix, selecting some shitty romance movie called Love Actually, Levi believed him. With his heart full to bursting, he snuggled into his side, his head resting comfortably against his chest. Eren’s warmth, paired with the light heartened film, eased him into a relaxed state of mind, making him believe that everything would work out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sehe ich Dich gerne - I like seeing you this way  
> Genau so... Du willst mehr, nicht wahr? - That's right, you want more don't you?
> 
> Or at least, that's what the internet tells me that means~~~  
> Thanks ya'll for reading. As always kudos and comments are appreciated <3
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri scenes (:


	6. cherry wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am officially covid free! Yaaaay~  
> Anyways we're almost to the end here. Thanks for sticking with me. Here's some fluff to get you through your day!  
> Enjoy~

It was finally Friday afternoon and Erwin had blessed him with the opportunity to clock out early due to their light workload. Once his boss had given the go ahead, Levi signed off without even saying goodbye to Petra or Hange. While their incessant teasing had gotten more bearable as the week went on, they were still persistent about them video chatting with him and Eren. He really wanted to avoid having to be bombarded by their craziness before ending his easy workday, not wanting to spoil the prospects of his relaxing weekend with Eren. 

The week had gone by relatively quickly, Eren’s presence making time fly when he wasn’t at work. It was odd, Levi rarely looked forward to the weekends before Eren came to stay with him. It was rare that he had anything to do outside of work, so the weekends simply provided him with too much alone time that often led to overthinking and anxiety-fueled cleaning. But now that Eren was staying with him, he found himself looking forward to being off of work. Funny how things changed when you had someone to share your time with.

Levi turned off his computer and flipped the light switch off before he made his way into the living room. Eren was perched on the couch like he usually was, with his laptop in his lap and a glazed look in his eyes. When he stepped into the room, those green eyes slid over to him and lit up, a bright smile stealing Levi’s breath away.  _ God _ , he would never get used to how beautiful Eren was.

“Are you done working?” He asked.

“Yeah, Erwin let me clock out early.”

“Thank god,” Eren huffed, closing his laptop with a click, sliding it onto the coffee table “I’ve been so fucking bored.”

Levi snorted, sitting down next to him on the couch. Eren instantly pulled him into his side, pressing his warm lips onto his temple. The soft kiss made his heart do a little flip and Levi wrinkled his nose, wondering how it was possible for such a simple gesture to make his insides melt.

“What did you want to do?” Levi asked.

Eren shrugged. “We could always finish watching Tiger King.”

“Do we have to?” Levi grimaced. He didn’t understand why Eren liked the show, it was completely idiotic. But for whatever reason, Eren thought Joe Exotic was fucking hilarious.

“Oh c’mon. It’s so good and there’s only a couple of episodes left.”

“I would rather lick dirt,” Levi gruffed, standing up to make himself a cup of tea. If he was going to have to sit through that shitty show, he’d at least enjoy  _ something. _

“Oooh, if you’re making tea will you make me some coffee?” Eren asked. From the kitchen, he could see him resting his chin on the back of the couch, his keen eyes watching Levi’s every move.

Levi scoffed as he put his teapot onto the stove. “If you want coffee then you can get off your lazy ass and make it yourself.”

“But Levi,” Eren whined as he batted those long eyelashes at him. “You’re already up and you're  _ so close _ to the coffee machine. Pleeease?” 

“Fucking fine,” Levi sighed, turning away to start the coffee before Eren’s winning smile could irritate him furthur. The brat always gave him those puppy dog eyes whenever he wanted something out of Levi. It was annoying, and yet, he couldn’t stop giving in to him.  _ Fuck _ , he hated how soft he was getting.

Once the teapot was whistling, he poured the water in his mug that already had an infuser with loose leaf tea tucked inside. The water immediately started turning a dark, brown color and not long after the tea began to steep, the coffee machine was done brewing. Levi poured Eren a cup of coffee and was heading back into the living room with both mugs in hand when he spotted something he hadn’t seen in months sitting on his dining room table.

“Did you go through my things?” Levi asked, his body instinctively tensing as he stared at the old chess set that he’d been given as a child. It had been his mother's set, something he had kept safely tucked away at the back of his closet so nothing bad would ever come of it.

Eren followed his gaze, a question on his brow. “Oh,” he smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I was looking to see if you had anything we could play so we didn’t have to just sit and watch TV all weekend.”

“You could’ve asked me,” Levi said, sitting down next to him, slightly annoyed that Eren had taken it upon himself to go snooping through his shit. He passed him his coffee and wrapped both his hands around his steaming cup of tea.

“Yeah well, you were working and you explicitly told me to stop bothering you at work.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “That’s because you were being a horny little shit and kept trying to blow me.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Eren asked, incredulous.

“It’s distracting as fuck,” Levi explained, as if it was obvious. It’s not that he  _ disliked  _ Eren’s little interruptions, it was just really inconvenient and embarrassing when he was in the middle of a zoom meeting and Eren was trying to suck him off.

An impish smile curled Eren’s lips. “You liked it.”

“Obviously. I’m not a fucking prude,” he said, vividly remembering how Eren had crawled underneath his desk and undid his pants, his long fingers pulling desperatly on his cock. The moment Eren’s wet tongue had lapped up the side of his length, a moan had escaped his lips and he had to scramble to quickly mute his microphone. It had been so enticing and yet so fucking embaressing that remembering it made his cheeks burn a soft pink.

Eren chuckled, resting his cheek on the top of his head as Levi shifted to adjust the half boner he was now sporting thanks to that little trip down memory lane. Eren was such a shit sometimes _.  _

“Still, I’d prefer if you didn’t just go looking through my shit,” Levi gruffed, pushing Eren away so he could narrow his eyes at him while also trying to clear his mind of Eren’s tongue on his dick.

“Hiding something?” Eren asked, raising his brow at him.

“I just don’t like the idea of you messing with my stuff,” he said, avoiding the true intention of his question. Yes, he had things he didn’t need Eren seeing. No, he wasn’t going to share those things with him just yet. They were his personal things, parts of him that were meant to stay private. Just like his chess set was supposed to be. 

“Alright. I won’t do it again.”

Levi hummed at his promise, letting himself relax in the comfortable crook of Eren’s arm. He fit perfectly there, like they were made for each other.

“Did you wanna play a game, at least?” Eren asked, carefully nudging his side so he didn’t spill any of his tea.

He turned his head to look at him. “You play chess?”

“Surprised?” Eren smiled cheekily.

“Little bit, yeah. You sure you’re smart enough for it?”

“Har, har,” he rolled his eyes. “I bet I can kick your ass.”

Levi scoffed. “We’ll see about that.” Emboldened by the challenge, he pushed up off the couch, looking at Eren expectantly as he followed suit. It had been a long time since he played chess, and he wasn’t even sure he remembered how. Even so, he wasn’t going to let Eren talk shit.

He set his mug on the table and started to take the set out of its case. The thing was covered in a thin layer of dust which mildly disgusted him. Had it really been that long since he’d taken the set out? When he pulled the board out along with the marble pieces, he was met with memories of his mother. The soft way her eyes used to light up as her slender fingers moved the white marble pieces across the board came rushing back to his mind and his heart ached at the memory. It had been so long since he’d let himself think of her.

“White or black?” Levi asked, trying his best to ignore the uncomfortable flutter in his chest as Eren’s fingers caressed the smooth white edge of the Queen.

“White,” Eren said, as if it was the obvious choice.

Nodding, he set up the pieces—Eren white and Levi black. It was just like it used to be but this time he wasn’t playing with his mother. Levi finished setting up the board and a bittersweet feeling washed over him as he looked up at Eren. Chess had always been something he had done with his mother and now he was doing it with someone else. Was that okay? He liked to think it was, especially because it was Eren he was playing with. Just like his mother, he was someone precious to him.

They both sat down across from each other at the table and Levi took a sip of his tea as Eren contemplated his first move. His long fingers picked out a pawn and moved it to E4. 

“Where did you learn to play chess?” Eren asked.

Levi looked up at him, a crease forming in his brow. It was such an innocent question and yet it delved into the private corners of his life. He considered what it would be like to open up to Eren, to share with him the childhood memories that made him who he was. If there was anyone he’d opened up to about it, it would be Eren. 

“My mother taught me. We used to play all the time when I was younger,” Levi explained 

Eren looked up at him with a question in his eyes. His lips parted as if he was about to ask a question but quickly shut his mouth, looking away as Levi moved his pawn to E5.

“Jesus, Eren, just ask whatever it is you want to ask,” Levi said, sitting back in his chair.

“I thought your Uncle raised you?” Eren asked, obviously nervous as he chewed at his lip, moving his pawn to F4, effectively taking Levi’s pawn.  _ Shit _ , he was rusty. 

Levi sighed. “He did. After my mother passed away.” Levi leaned forward to take another sip of his tea and caught the glistening curiosity in Eren’s eyes. He wanted to ask more, he could tell, but he obviously didn’t want to pry. Levi rolled his eyes moving his knight to H4. “I thought you weren’t intimidated by me.”

“I’m not!” he countered. “This is just like… really personal stuff and I don’t wanna pry into anything you don’t wanna talk about.”

“If I don’t want to talk about it I’ll tell you. Ask me whatever, Eren. I won’t get upset.”

“Okay then. Will you tell me about your mom?”

“I… unfortunately don’t remember much. She died from cancer when I was ten,” he admitted, swallowing hard against the lump forming in his throat. It was difficult speaking of his mother, the memories they shared together a sacred part of him that he always kept locked up inside. Even though thinking about her again made his heart hurt, it was strangely comforting to share her with Eren.

“She was a single mother, so it was just the two of us all the time,” he explained. “I remember during the summers, she used to take me to work with her because she couldn’t afford daycare. She was a librarian, so she would just let me wander around, reading all the books while she worked.”

“So that’s why you love reading,” Eren smiled softly.

Levi looked up at him, meeting his gaze, and nodded. “Yeah. I remember she would always take me to get ice cream afterward. She always got strawberry with extra sprinkles and cherries because she knew I would always sneak some of hers,” he said, a soft smile curling his lip at the memory. “And then we’d go home, sit in the garden and have a quiet game of chess together. But then she got sick and…” Levi sighed, reaching for his cup of tea, taking a long sip with the hopes it would ease the tight knot forming in his chest.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Eren said, reaching across the table to take his hand, his thumb gently massaging his palm. “She sounds like a lovely woman.”

“Yeah, she was,” he nodded, squeezing Eren’s hand in return and letting go. As much as he missed his mom, and as much as he didn’t mind sharing her memory with Eren, it hurt like hell to talk about her and he wanted to change the subject, to think of something less painful. “So what about you, how did you learn to play chess?”

Eren sat back in his chair and looked away with a sheepish expression. “You don’t really want to know that.”

“I do,” Levi said, raising a curious brow. 

“Ugh. Fine. My professor taught me,” he shrugged. “I was banging him for a better grade and he always wanted to play chess afterward.”

“What the fuck,” Levi choked, placing his teacup harshly on the table with a clank, making Eren jump. “You’re joking right?”

“Sadly, no,” Eren laughed nervously and Levi shook his head in disbelief

“Jesus, Eren. Do I need to be concerned?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Levi knew going into this relationship that Eren was a little bit… promiscuous, to say the least. But sometimes Eren would say things like  _ that _ , making him worry that he was setting himself up for easy heartbreak. Not only did he apparently have a sugar daddy but he’d stereotypically fucked his professor for a better grade? This brat was going to be the death of him.

“What?” Eren gaped. “No! I swear, I’d never cheat on you, if that’s what you mean.”

“And what about this sugar daddy of yours?” Levi asked, feeling stupid for how jealous he sounded. But he had reason to be, right? It’s not like Eren had a good track record with relationships. And he really didn’t feel like getting hurt because Eren couldn’t keep it in his pants.

Eren sank back in his chair, groaning. “Shit, I probably seem like such a fucking player, don’t I?”

“Little bit,” Levi frowned.

“I swear, that guy doesn’t mean anything to me. Honestly, we don’t even do anything, really. He just sends me money sometimes. I’ll text him right now and tell him we’re done,” Eren ranted as he reached for his phone, completely ignoring the chess game as his intense gaze bore into Levi’s, green eyes begging him to understand.

“Okay,” Levi shrugged, taking another sip of his tea. Even though he was a little worried about Eren’s questionable past relationships, if he said there was nothing to worry about, then Levi would try his hardest not to worry about it. 

“Wait really? You’re gonna drop it just like that?”

“Yes?” Levi asked, slightly put off by the question. “Should I not?” 

“No! It’s just most of the guys I’ve been with don’t trust me that easily so I guess I’m surprised is all.” 

“Well you’ve never given me a reason not to trust you,” Levi explained. If anything, Eren’s treated him better than most, which is why it was so easy for Levi to open up his heart to him. He knew that Eren wouldn’t intentionally try to hurt him.

“Thank you,” Eren visibly sagged with relief at his admission and he reached across the board to move his pawn.

Much to Levi’s surprise, Eren ended up winning their game. When Eren moved his knight to E7, his eyes had brightly lit up with victory and he practically yelled checkmate in Levi’s face. It was hard to be upset over the loss, especially seeing how excited it made Eren. It had been a good match, and it had been far too long since Levi had played to pose a real challenge. He’d let Eren stew in his victory while he could, because next time, he wouldn’t be winning so easily. 

  
  


It was just after dinner and Eren was lazing on the couch, scrolling through Twitter or some shit when Levi came into the living room, a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hands.

“Hey, brat,” Levi said, kicking Eren’s foot.

“Huh?” he looked up from his social media daze, blinking.

Levi snorted at his spaced-out expression. “Put a jacket on, grab those blankets, and come with me.”

Eren eyed the wine in his hand and smiled, tucking his phone into his pocket and doing as he was told.

“Where are we going?” Eren asked as he slipped his shoes on by the door.

“We’re getting out of this apartment for a change,” Levi said, holding the door open for Eren and then promptly locking it behind them. They stepped into the elevator and Levi pressed the button for the rooftop. 

The door opened up to an empty hallway with a singular door at the end. There was a laminated piece of paper on it that read “Closed”. Reaching for the handle, Levi tested it, confirming that it was indeed locked.

“Here, hold this,” he said, shoving the wine and the two glasses into Eren’s hands.

“What are you doing?”

Levi ignored him as he dug into his pockets for a bobby pin and paper clip. He bent them both and stuck them into the lock, jimmying it until the doorknob turned, effectively opening up the door.

“What the fuck? How do you know how to do that?” Eren asked as Levi slid the makeshift tools back into his pocket and stepped outside.

The sun was still hanging low in the sky, its orange hue lighting up the horizon, painting the sky pink and blue. There was a cool breeze that ruffled his hair into his eyes and he turned to look back at Eren who was still staring at him with wide eyes.

“My Uncle wasn’t a good man,” Levi simply said. 

“W-what? For real?” Eren asked and Levi hummed. “What else do you know how to do?”

“There’s plenty of things my Uncle taught me that no normal kid should learn,” he sighed, his stomach sinking at the memory. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to talk about that right now, Eren.”

While he had been comfortable sharing memories of his mother with Eren, this was different. This was dark, and not something he wanted to revisit anytime soon. But now that Eren had brought it up, the memories were there at the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t stop thinking about how his childhood had taken a turn for the worse after his mother had died. While he didn’t have to go into foster care since his Uncle was willing to take him in, Kenny had probably been the least fitting person to raise a child. 

Living with Kenny, and being subjected to all the shady business he involved himself in, was not the happier moments of his childhood. If he could, he’d forget it all. It’s why he was slightly relieved when Kenny left him the morning of his 18th birthday, why he was only slightly hurt by the sudden abandonment. It was why he went off to college to pursue something safe and boring, so he could get as far away from that life as possible. 

But Eren didn’t need to know all that. Not yet, anyway.

“O-oh, I’m sorry,” Eren muttered, looking far too guilty for his own good.

“It’s fine,” Levi huffed, wanting to steal away his regretful expression. There was no reason for him to feel that way, what’s done was done. “Come here,” he beckoned for him to follow as he led the way to the little rooftop garden.

It was a quaint little space and not nearly as nice looking as it normally was in the summertime. The flowers weren’t quite in bloom, but the bushes and foliage were still neatly trimmed and green, despite the fact that the garden was closed off to the public. There was a bench with plush cushions overlooking the skyline that Levi sat down on.

Eren followed, placing the wine bottle and glasses onto the space between them. Levi reached for the bottle, opening it and pouring a decent amount of Merlot into each glass. He passed one to Eren who gratefully took it and placed the now half-empty bottle off to the side so he could scoot closer to Eren.

“Are you cold?” Eren asked.

“A little,” he admitted, taking a sip of the bittersweet wine, the cherry chocolate notes making his mouth water.

Eren took the blanket that had been bunched in his lap and wrapped it around their shoulders, pulling Levi comfortably into his side. It felt safe there in the warmth of his arms, the memories of his uncle effectively melting away as he rested his head against Eren’s sturdy shoulder. The skyline stretched out before them and it felt so peaceful and quiet sitting above the city. If he could, he’d stay like that forever, tucked comfortably into Eren’s side without a care in the world.

“It’s really nice up here,” Eren said in a soft voice and Levi hummed in agreement. “It’s hard to believe that there are millions of people living below us.”

Levi took another sip of his wine, the alcohol warming his bones. “It’s because none of them matter.”

“ _ None _ of them? Damn Levi, that’s pretty harsh,” Eren chuckled into his glass as he took a long sip of the red liquid.

“What?” Levi shrugged, peering up at Eren. “They don’t.”

“And what about me? Do I matter?”

“Don’t be stupid. Of course you matter, you’re the only one that does.”

Eren smiled at that, and his hand came up to pinch Levi’s chin, drawing his lips up for a soft kiss that tasted like bittersweet cherries. The gentle way Eren’s hand caressed his cheek, his thumb brushing against his skin, the soft warmth of his lips delicately pressing against his own, made his heart swell inside his chest till it was full to bursting. Levi wondered how it was possible to have such a reaction to another person, how he could possibly feel so warm and soft when it was so cold outside.

When Eren finally pulled away, Levi’s skin was tingling and his cheeks were burning. Whether from the kiss or the alcohol, he wasn’t entirely sure. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful?” Eren said, his lips still so close to Levi’s.

His skin burned a little bit brighter at that comment. “What? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not.”

And when Levi looked up into his eyes, he could see that he was very much being serious. “Why do you have to say shit like that,” Levi said, turning his face in a poor attempt to hide the blush burning his cheeks.

“I like seeing you get flustered.”

“You’re such a shit.”

“Can I take a picture of us?” Eren asked suddenly, ignoring Levi’s insult as he dug out his phone from his pocket.

“No,” Levi said, narrowing his gaze at the damn device in Eren’s hands. Over the week, he had been subjected to far too many pictures. For whatever reason, Eren was obsessed with taking candid shots of him while he was minding his own business. He hated to imagine what was happening with all of those images.

“Oh c’mon,” Eren whined. “We don’t have any pictures together and I really want one of us.”

Well  _ shit _ . It was hard to say no to that. “Fine.”

Eren gave him a winning smile and pulled him tightly against his side, his head resting against Levi’s. He brought the phone level with them, the camera casting their images onto the screen.

“Smile,” Eren said, nudging him with his shoulder.

“You’re pushing your luck,” Levi said, narrowing his gaze at the phone.

Eren rolled his eyes. “Too good to smile for a picture, Levi?”

“I don’t smile for shit, especially not pictures.”

“That’s not true. I see you smile all the time.”

“Then you need to get your eyes checked cause you’re clearly seeing shit.”

Eren hummed. “No, I don’t think so.” And before Levi could react, Eren was pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, making his stomach flutter while heat spread across his chest.

The camera clicked, capturing the moment that ended in a flash. Eren pulled away, looking down at his phone with a wide, dopey smile. “Well would you look at that,” Eren said, holding up the phone so Levi could see the picture. In it, Eren was pressing his lips delicately onto Levi’s cheeks, his eyes closed, mouth curved in a look of pure contentment. 

And then there was Levi. 

Eren managed to capture him looking far too surprised, his eyes wide, cheeks a dusty pink, and his lips curving in the barest hint of a smile. He’d never seen himself look like that before and if he didn’t know any better, he wouldn’t even believe that it was him. But the person in the picture  _ was him _ and he looked  _ happy. _

That should’ve been a good thing, right? 

So why did that realization scare him so much?

“Delete it,” Levi said, reaching for the phone, wanting to wipe away the evidence of his bliss.

“What? No way,” Eren said, holding the phone out of his reach. “It’s a cute picture.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah but I’m  _ your _ pain in the ass.”

Levi huffed, giving up the fight as he grabbed his wine and took a long sip of it. Unfortunately, the alcohol did little to ease the growing discomfort in his chest. Why was he so afraid of being happy? Could it be because he was still worried about the day that Eren would leave and what that would do to him, both mentally and emotionally? Now that Eren had carved a place out in his life, it was hard to imagine him not being in it. Whenever he did, it made his stomach curl with distaste and his chest ached.

Eren looked at him for a long time, slowly sipping at his own glass of wine as they sat there in silence, nothing but the sound of the breeze ruffling through leaves keeping them company.

"I read that book you were reading while you've been working,” Eren finally said. “Turtles All the Way Down.”

Levi turned to look at him, an uneasy feeling settling in his gut. “Why?”

“You mentioned you related to the main character and I was… Curious.”

_ Shit _ . He hadn’t expected Eren to actually read the damn book. Reading never seemed like his cup of tea, so he thought it was safe to share that little piece of him. Now that he had, he felt exposed, like Eren suddenly knew the inner workings of his mind. That thought alone made his hands go clammy.

“Oh?” he muttered. “And what did you think of it.”

There was a silent pause as Eren considered what he wanted to say. Finally, he said, “Do you really get anxiety like that?”

“It’s not that severe, but to a certain extent, yeah,” he admitted, unable to meet Eren’s gaze as he did so.

"Have you ever considered talking to someone about it?"

“What, like a shrink?” Levi asked and Eren nodded. “No, never.”

“Well, if it affects your life that much, don’t you think you should?”

The thought of opening up to a complete stranger about his anxiety seemed absurd. All of his life, he had grown up believing that it was better to stuff your feelings down, to not let yourself feel or be ruled by emotions. It’s what his Uncle had always instilled in him. When his mother had died, he wanted to cry, to talk to his Uncle about her, but he shut him down, telling him to bury those feelings because they made him weak and vulnerable. And being the impressionable child that he was, Levi had believed him.

“I don’t know that I can,” Levi said, tightly clutching his wine glass.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to either, but then I did and it was really helpful,” Eren said, his warm fingers resting against Levi’s thigh.

“You’ve seen a counselor?” Levi didn’t know why, but that surprised him. It seemed like such a mature thing to do.

Eren chuckled. “Yeah, surprising I know. But my dad was kind of an asshole growing up, which kind of fucked me up. I honestly didn’t want to go for the longest time, but Mikasa made me. I’m really glad she did, because it helped me sort out a lot of my issues.”

Levi hummed in thought. To get help, to try and sort out some of his own buried issues, it was something he had never even considered doing. Could it really be as simple as talking to a professional? "I guess it's just always been a part of my life that I never thought it needed fixing."

"I used to feel that way, back when I was living at home,” Eren said, his fingers absently massaging Levi’s leg. The simple gesture was oddly comforting. “I thought things would never get better, that I’d always be trapped in the life I was living. But then my counselor encouraged me to do something about that feeling and that’s when I left home. That trapped feeling I thought I’d never escape from was gone and I got to experience life without it and it was really… freeing."

“I’ll consider it,” Levi said, not really sure if he could commit to making a change just yet, the idea of opening up to someone other than Eren was a frightening prospect.

“Okay. And if you wanna talk to me about any of it, I’m more than happy to help,” Eren said, reaching for Levi’s hand and pulling it into his lap, their fingers lacing perfectly together.

“Why do you care so much?” Levi asked, the words slipping from his mouth before he could stop them.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, his eyes glinting with muted amusement. Levi raised a curious brow at him and Eren sighed, shaking his head. “I just really like you, Levi. And I want you to be happy.”

_ To be happy _ . He wanted that too, he really truly did. And he was happy. But how long would that last? If there was a way to stay like this, to keep his happiness even after Eren went back to school, then perhaps he would try and get help. It was worth a shot, anyway.

“I'm happy whenever I’m with you,” Levi admitted as he squeezed Eren’s hand.

He smiled, green eyes glinting as the sun set behind him. The sky was tinged in purple and pinks, making Eren look like he was glowing against the backdrop of the city skyline. 

“Then let’s stay together, make it official. That way wherever we end up, we’ll still be together,” Eren said, his free hand reaching out for Levi’s jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

The world came to a halt, and all that existed was Levi and Eren on the empty rooftop of his apartment building. All of his worries—all of his fears—seemingly melting away. All that was left was the warm glow of affection coursing through his veins.

“I will. Of course I will,” Levi said as if the choice was obvious. 

A rare smile curved his lips and it was quickly stolen away by a kiss that warmed his bones and set his heart soaring in his chest. It was like he was flying as he lost himself in their kiss—the soft breeze blowing around them as everything else ceased to exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I appreciate all your kudos/comments/love. It seriously makes my day~  
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri scenes (:


	7. one year until forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang guys, this is it. This is the last chapter :( This is incredibly bittersweet for me as I've never finished a fic before so it's like a part of me is ending as I close up this story.
> 
> This chapter is a little bit personal for me, as the counseling session Levi goes through is very reminiscent of my own experience with virtual counseling. I really wanted to include that experience in this fic because mental health right now is a huge struggle for a lot of us and I have personally found that counseling through this pandemic to be a huge help. I know it's a little different to include in a fic, but I liked seeing Levi deal with something so incredibly human.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this fic and for leaving all the love. It's literally been so great reading all of your comments and getting your kudos <3  
> I hope ya'll enjoy the ending~

It had been two months since Eren confronted Levi about his anxiety. Since then, he started seeing a counselor regularly. The first couple of appointments were torturous. Ilse Langnar was a nice enough woman, but her personability did little in easing his anxiety when it came to opening up. These sessions were especially difficult since everything was virtual. The fact that he had to sit in his office, the place that was  _ supposed  _ to be his sanctuary, staring at the computer screen while he spilled out his heart, made Levi want to give up after his first session.

But for whatever reason, he didn’t.

Perhaps it was because he genuinely wanted to get better, wanted to be a better man for himself and Eren. Whatever the reason, he kept with it, even though he  _ really _ didn’t want to.

It was Friday after work and Eren had left the apartment to give him some privacy during his weekly counseling session. Levi sat in front of his computer screen, avoiding eye contact with Ilse as he stared out the window, watching as grey puffy clouds rolled by. 

“What did you want to talk about today?” she asked, her soft voice drawing Levi’s attention to her.

If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want to talk about anything. But that wasn’t an answer that Ilse would accept. She waited, her eyes drifting off to the side to give him time to think. Whenever Levi was trying to process something, she did this to give him some space. While it was a simple gesture, it was one that Levi greatly appreciated. It took away some of the pressure he felt during these sessions. Unfortunately, that gesture alone wasn’t enough to get him to talk. Sometimes it was just too hard to put his thoughts and feelings into words.

When Levi didn’t say anything, she prompted him again. “How are things going with Eren?”

He sighed, looking away again as he played with the hem of his shirt. “They’re fine.”

“Just fine? Did something happen?”

“No,” Levi shook his head. Nothing happened. Apart from the occasional argument over stupid shit, things were great between them. The amount of affection he felt towards Eren seemed to grow by the day, which was turning out to be a dangerous thing. Because just like Ilse suspected, things weren’t  _ fine _ .

“Then what’s the problem?” she prodded again, just like she always did, constantly nudging him in a direction that got him to open up. 

He looked at the clock in the corner of the screen. 5:37 PM. He’d only been on the call for seven minutes. He still had 53 minutes to go.  _ Damnit.  _ Why did he keep scheduling these things? He hated them.

“Eren’s leaving tomorrow morning,” he finally said, caving to the pressure.

And that was that. That’s what had been eating him up the past week and a half. It was the inescapable truth that he’d been running from the moment they kissed. Germany was removing their lockdown restrictions and Eren’s University was slowly rolling out in-person classes, meaning he would be allowed to return to campus. Which meant he would be leaving, just like Levi feared he would.

Ilse sat forward in her seat, her warm brown eyes watching Levi with great interest. “And what do you make of that?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I just don’t want him to leave.”

“And why’s that?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he said, narrowing his gaze at her.

“Maybe. But I want to hear it from you.”

“Fine.” He looked away. “It’s because I love him.” 

The words felt weird on his tongue, but he knew without a doubt that they were true. He’d yet to say them to Eren, and quite honestly, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever been able to unless he said it first. But for whatever reason, Ilse had a way of getting him to open up, her warm demeanor loosening up his tongue. He supposed that’s why she was so good at her damn job.

“Happy?” he scoffed.

“Yes, thank you,” she said, smiling softly at him. “But are you? Happy, I mean.”

“Not really, no.”

“And why’s that?”

“I already said, I don’t want him to leave.”

“Right, but there’s something more to it, isn’t there?”

“I don’t know, you’re the counselor here, why don’t you tell me?” he said, annoyance curling in his chest. Whenever he made a declaration of his feelings or anxieties, Ilse always wanted to dig deeper, to find the root of it. It made it so he had to confront his past, made it so he had to look his Uncle in the eye and curse him out for all the problems he caused him.

“You mentioned before that your Uncle left you when you turned eighteen. Why don’t you tell me about that,” she prompted as she sat back in her chair, opening up the floor for him to speak.

“What else is there to say? My Uncle was a piece of shit who used me throughout my childhood and then abandoned me when he was no longer obligated to care for me,” Levi said, frowning.  _ God, _ he hated thinking about his Uncle and all the shit he pulled. But apparently, childhood trauma was a real bitch and a half and it had managed to fuck Levi up well into adulthood, meaning he had to think about it to get over it.

_ Thanks for nothing, Kenny. _

“What do you think his leaving did for your sense of trust?”

“Nothing. I don’t care about that bastard.”

“While that may be true, what he did to you still has a lasting effect. He was supposed to be your caretaker and he abandoned you. And you’re saying that didn’t do anything to you?”

Levi sighed, hating where this conversation was going. What the fuck did that have to do with Eren, anyway? He looked at the clock again and internally groaned when he realized he still had 38 minutes left. “Of course it affected me, but I refuse to think about it and let it control my life.”

“You mentioned that before, your need for control. Why do you think you need to be in control so badly?”

“Living with Kenny was chaotic, unpredictable, and disorderly. There were very few things I was able to control in my childhood. So the things that I  _ could _ control became very important to me.”

“Those things being?”

“Well, obviously cleanliness is one,” he admitted. That conversation with Ilse had been an interesting one. He never chalked up his chaotic and disorganized upbringing with Kenny as the reason for his innate desire for a clean and orderly life. “Another being my emotions.”

“Right,” Ilse nodded as if she had just uncovered something huge. Levi raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed. “When I asked you how things were going with Eren, you said ‘fine’. However, we both know that things were not ‘fine’. So why do you think you said that?”

“I want them to be fine.”

“Exactly. You want to control your emotions. So you pretend that things are fine when they’re not. Now tell me, how do you  _ really  _ feel about Eren leaving?”

Just thinking about Eren leaving made Levi’s heart ache, and his fists instinctively clenched in his lap. He looked away from the computer monitor, staring for a long time at a scratch on his desk. 

After a long moment of silence, Ilse finally spoke up. “It’s okay to feel, even if it hurts to do so. We’re meant to have these emotions, they’re completely human.”

He looked up at that, his stomach queasy as his chest tightened. Processing these feelings was too much sometimes. “I’m upset about it,” he finally said in a quiet voice. 

“Good, you’re allowed to be upset about it,” she said, leaning forward again. “What else?”

Levi swallowed hard against the knot in his throat. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen to us when he goes back to Germany.”

“What are you worried about, exactly?”

“What if he never comes back... If he decides the long-distance isn’t worth it? What if he finds someone else?” Levi ranted, the floodgates opening at Ilse’s incessant questions. She always managed to do this, slowly chipping away at his resolve until he caved and let all of his emotions loose.

“Do you trust him?”

“I do,” he started to say but realized it was a lie and he shook his head. As much as he wanted to trust Eren, a small part of him couldn’t, not completely anyway. “Or at least, I want to.”

“You want to trust him, but you can’t?” she asked and he nodded. “Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know,” he said, not caring that she wasn’t going to like his answer.

She hummed, considering his soft evasion. “I think you  _ do _ know why, you just don’t want to confront it.”

Levi knew she was going to bring this back to his Uncle somehow, the answer was staring him right in the face. But she was right, he didn’t want to confront it. “You seem to know the answer, so why don’t you just tell me?” He knew he was being defensive, but he didn’t care. Prying into his past hurt too much.

“You admitted earlier that your Uncle leaving affected you. Can you tell me how?”

Levi sighed heavily. Why was it so hard to put his feelings into words? He could feel his throat getting tight and his hands shaking against his thighs.

“He left me, just like everyone else in my life has at some point or another.”

“Your Uncle, all of those people that left, did they ever come back?” she asked, her tone soft and warm as ever.

Levi looked away, frowning. “No.”

“So your Uncle abandoning you has made it difficult for you to trust others not to do the same. What do you think about that?”

“Shit,” he breathed. “I guess you’re probably right.”

“When was the last time you let yourself care for someone as much as you care for Eren?”

“Never,” he said softly. He’d never been able to give his heart to anyone before. But Eren was different from the rest of the world, he was the sun bringing warmth into his cold apartment.

“And why do you think that is?”

“I guess I’ve just always been scared that if I let anyone in my life, they’d leave. So I keep people at a distance, never allowing anyone to get too close,” he admitted, hating the hard reality of those words. It was difficult to accept that he had been subconsciously pushing people away all of his life, just because he was afraid of being abandoned once again. He’d almost managed to do it to Eren as well, but the brat had a way of weakening his defenses.

“And yet, you let Eren in,” she said, smiling softly at him. “Why do you think that is?”

“He kind of has a way of getting what he wants.”

“Sure,” she chuckled. “But that would be giving him all the credit for your relationship.  _ You _ let him in. Why?”

Levi shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess he just understands me better than most. He’s never judged me or made assumptions about me. He just always seems to genuinely  _ care _ about me. Even when he hardly knew me back home, he went out of his way to make me feel included. He made it easy for me to let my guard down.”

“So you  _ trusted  _ him enough to let him in,” she said. “That’s good.”

“If that’s the case, why can’t I trust him now?”

“The traumas you endured in your childhood are preventing you from completely trusting Eren. Because of the negative environment you grew up in, your brain is hardwired to focus on your negative thoughts. In this case, your brain is telling you that Eren leaving will end poorly because it’s basing the situation off of what you know from past experiences,” she explained, pausing to gauge Levi’s reaction. He simply sat there, taking it all in, unsure what to think. “What do you make of all that?”

“It makes sense,” he reluctantly admitted. He hated to think that something he was trying so hard to forget was still festering under the surface, quietly ruining his relationship with Eren by cultivating distrust. “How do I get past this?”

“Realizing the problem is the first step. The next step is retraining your brain. When you start to doubt or worry, try to tune out the negative and focus on the positive instead—find the silver lining. After all, you want to trust Eren, and there’s a reason for that. It’s because you love him, right?” She asked, and Levi nodded. “Don’t let your past trick you into believing lies about your future.”

Ilse was quiet for a moment while Levi processed what she said. Could it be as simple as retraining his brain? Certainly not. But then, that was the negativity talking, wasn’t it? Perhaps if he was able to recognize it, like she said, it’d be possible.

“Tell me, have you talked to Eren about all of this?” she asked.

Levi shook his head, frowning. 

“Why is that, do you think?”

Levi sighed. “As you already know, I’m not good at communicating my emotions. You can thank my Uncle for that one, too”

“But you’re capable of doing it. You just did it with me here today, so that’s a step in the right direction,” she said, leaning forward once more, her elbows resting against the desk as she thought quietly for a moment. “I want to challenge you with something, Levi. Do you think you’re up for it?”

A scowl deepened his brow. “That depends on what it is.”

She chuckled at that, lowering her hands onto her desk. “When you see Eren, I want to challenge you to talk to him about this. Tell him your concerns and worries, tell him how you feel.”

Levi stiffened, the very idea of opening up to Eren about all of this made his heart flutter and his hands clammy. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Sure you can, you did it with me, and you don’t even love me,” she said, a teasing smile lighting up her eyes. “Communication is key with any lasting relationship. If you don’t share what’s going on inside your head and your heart, those negative thoughts will only get worse. You have to speak the positive into existence. Do you think you can do that?”

_ Fucking hell _ , he hated therapy. But at the same time, he could tell it was helping. Slowly but surely, the anxiety was lessening. And as much as he didn’t want to take Ilse’s advice, he knew that she was speaking the truth. If he wanted to have a successful relationship with Eren, he would have to  _ try _ , at least.

“Yeah,” he muttered, his mouth going dry with nervousness. He would do it, but he wasn’t going to enjoy it, that much he was certain.

“Awesome,” she beamed. “Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Are we on for the same time in a week?”

Levi nodded as his eyes darted to the clock. 6:28 PM. Where had the time gone?

“Great. I’ll see you then!”

And with that, the session ended. Levi sat there in the silence for a couple of minutes, decompressing after that jarring experience. It was incredibly draining having Ilse pull his buried emotions out into reality. And while it  _ was _ surprisingly therapeutic, it always left him feeling tired.

After a long moment, Levi finally stood up, taking his phone out of his pocket, clicking on Eren’s text thread. 

**Levi 6:38 PM -** hey. I’m done

**Eren 6:40 PM -** sweet! Want me to grab some food on my way back?

**Levi 6:40 PM -** yeah. Anything's fine

**Eren 6:41 PM -** even mcdonalds?

**Levi 6:41 PM -** you already know the answer to that stupid question

**Eren 6:42 PM -** well excuse me but you did say anything

**Levi 6:43 PM -** yeah, anything that’s good and not fast food

**Eren 6:43 PM** **-** but you didn't say that

 **Levi 6:44 PM** **-** it was implied

Levi pocketed his phone as he turned off his computer, going off into the living room when he was done. He sat onto the couch, laying down on his back, his phone buzzing against his thigh as another text came through. He pulled it out, ignoring the text and clicking on his Venmo app, sending Eren $40 bucks with the message that said “ _ get something good, brat.” _

**Eren 6:45 PM -** Okkkk well I don’t have enough money for something that’s not fast food :/

**Levi 6:48 PM -** check your Venmo

**Eren 6:49 PM -** oooh thanks daddy ; )

Levi rolled his eyes, setting his phone down on the coffee table. Relaxing into the soft cushions of the couch, he let his heavy eyes slide shut. It’d be a while before Eren got back with the food, so he allowed himself to get some much-needed rest.

It only took a couple of minutes before he was pulled down into the darkness of his subconscious, a dreamless sleep weighing heavy on him. He wasn’t sure how long he slept for but he didn’t wake up until a warm brush of fingers against his cheek pulled him from his sleep.

Levi’s eyes slowly fluttered open and he was greeted by a soft pair of green eyes staring down at him, and his heart skipped a beat at the sight. Eren was seated on the edge of the cushion, his hand cradling Levi’s jaw, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. “Hey,” he said, leaning forward to steal Levi’s lips in a kiss that spread warmth throughout his chest.

“Hey,” Levi breathed as Eren pulled back. He sat up next to him, resting his chin on his shoulder as he tried to blink back the grogginess in his eyes. “Did you get the food?”

“Yeah! I also made you some tea,” he said, leaning forward to grab the mug, passing it to Levi.

“You made me tea?” he asked, surprised. He took it, wrapping his cold hands around the warm ceramic. Eren’s never made him tea before, and Levi wasn’t even sure that he knew how. The tea infuser was still inside the cup and the liquid was dark in color. “How long has this been in here?”

Eren shrugged. “I don’t know, like a couple of minutes.”

Levi took a sip, his nose wrinkling as the bitter flavor assaulted his tongue.

“Not good?” Eren asked, a look of worry creasing his brow. 

“It’s fine,” Levi lied. It was a little too strong for his liking, but he'd drink it anyway. After all, it was the thought that counted.

“Good,” Eren said, smiling as he stood, holding out his hand for Levi. “C’mon, let's go eat.”

  
  


Levi knew he needed to talk to Eren about his feelings before he left in the morning, but every time he opened his mouth to speak, the words got caught in his throat. It wasn’t until they were laying down for bed, Levi’s heart fluttering nervously in his chest, that he finally found the courage to say something.

He laid down next to Eren, sans shirt like he always insisted on, and was immediately pulled into his arms, Eren’s chin resting on top of Levi’s head. It felt safe there in his arms—and maybe that’s why he was comfortable enough to finally speak his mind.

He pulled back so he could look into Eren’s eyes and his mouth went dry with worry. “What’s going to happen to us when you leave tomorrow?” Levi asked, his voice soft against the quietness of his bedroom.

“What do you mean?” Eren asked, propping himself up on his elbow so he could get a better look at Levi, a frown creasing his brow.

Levi sighed, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He didn’t want to have this conversation, they’d both been avoiding it for so long. But he needed it to happen—he needed to reaffirm his trust in Eren, or this was never going to work. “I mean, how are we going to make this work long distance?” he asked, swallowing hard against the lump forming in his throat as he peeked over at Eren from the corner of his eye. “What’s going to happen when we can’t see or touch each other anymore?”

Eren leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Levi’s forehead, the sudden display of affection stealing the breath from his lungs. It was such a small little gesture, and yet it made him feel so incredibly warm that he instinctively curled a little closer into Eren’s body.

“I’m going to Facetime you every moment that I can, to the point where you’re going to get sick of me,” Eren reassured. “Also I’m going to send you so many unsolicited dick pics, you’re going to be begging me to stop.”

“Unlikely,” Levi snorted and Eren returned the sound with a chuckle of his own.

“Maybe. But what I’m trying to say is, I’m not going to give up on you just because there are a few thousand miles between us.”

“And what if you get bored or frustrated? You’ve never even been able to make a relationship work for more than a couple of months and they weren’t even long distance. Who’s to say that this is going to last?” Levi ranted, hating how desperate he sounded. But even as he spilled out his deepest insecurities for Eren, there was no judgment in his expression. He simply looked down at him with a softness in his eyes as he gently brushed a strand of hair out of Levi’s face.

“I’ve told you this already, but I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you. I mean that. And you know, I’m the kind of person that chases after what I want, and what I want is you,” Eren said, a fiery look of determination replacing the softness in his eyes as he laid out his heart for Levi to bear witness to. “I’m not delusional, and I’m not going to pretend that this is going to be easy, because it’s probably going to be hard as fuck. But being with you is worth the struggle. You’re worth fighting for, Levi. So for every second of every day, I will fight for you.”

Eren’s passionate words hit Levi right in the chest, making it near impossible to breathe. His heart was beating a mile a minute and his whole body tingled at his words, making him feel so impossibly loved that he didn’t know what to say. But somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew exactly what needed to be said, even if it was difficult to do so.

“I love you, Eren,” he breathed, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. But once they were out there, he didn’t want to take them back, especially because Eren’s eyes lit up like emeralds glistening under the sun, a bright smile cresting across his perfect lips.

“I love you too, Levi,” he said, stealing Levi’s lips into a soft kiss that made his heart swell with affection. 

It felt like a dream, hearing that Eren felt the same way. It had been so long since anyone had told him that and it felt so good to hear. When he finally pulled away, Levi felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he knew he had made the right decision in confiding in Eren. 

“So don’t worry too much. We’re both too stubborn for our own good. We’ll make this work,” Eren said, pulling Levi closer, his heat wrapping around him like a blanket.

Levi scoffed. “Speak for yourself, I’m not stubborn.”

“Yeah, okay,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. “You literally won’t suck my dick until you’ve  _ seen  _ me thoroughly wash myself.”

“That’s not being stubborn. That’s called having standards for good hygiene.”

“I suck your dick  _ and _ eat your ass all the time without needing to confirm that you’ve washed yourself.”

“You know I keep myself clean.”

“Oh, and I don’t?”

“Maybe I just like watching you wash yourself.”

Eren snorted. “Who’s the horny little shit now _? _ ”

“I never said I wasn’t,” Levi smirked, reaching for Eren’s dick, playfully squeezing him with his palm. His smirk grew into a full-blown smile as Eren instantly began to harden at his touch. “But it looks like you are too, so it works.”

A slow smile crept onto Eren’s face and before Levi could react, he was pushing him into the mattress, straddling his lap as he grinded against him, his lips and tongue assaulting his jaw in hungry kisses. 

They spent the rest of the night losing themselves in each other, showing each other their affection without using words. And while Levi was glad to have shared his true feelings with Eren, expressing his love through physical touch was easier and much more satisfying, leaving him feeling loved and whole as he drifted off to sleep, wrapped in Eren’s strong arms.

For the first time since he found out Eren was leaving, he wasn’t worried about what would become of their relationship. Whatever happened in the coming months, they’d work through it, because just like Eren, Levi wasn’t going to give him up for the world.

  
  


The taxi pulled up to the curb and Eren’s hand hesitated on the door handle. He looked back at Levi, a frown creasing his brow. This was it, Eren was finally leaving and they were just a moment away from being separated by an ocean that felt far too big. Levi reached for Eren’s hand, taking it and squeezing it gently. He returned the gesture before opening the car door and sliding out onto the pavement.

Levi joined him on the curb as Eren retrieved his backpack and duffle bag from the trunk. He shut the door a little too harshly, his obvious frustration over their current situation written all over his face. Eren had been doing so well in hiding how upset he was up until then. Now that he was about to leave, all of his emotions were written clearly on his sleeves, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he approached Levi.

“I guess this is it, huh?” Eren said, unable to meet Levi’s gaze.

“Yeah,” he muttered, feeling at a loss for words. Even though he had been feeling good about things last night, now that it was happening, he was silently falling apart on the inside.

Eren dropped his bags onto the concrete and engulfed him into a tight embrace, Levi’s face burying into his chest as he squeezed him close. 

“Just one year,” Eren croaked as he took in a shaky breath. 

Levi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the burning sting building up behind his eyelid as his hands gripped the back of Eren’s T-shirt. He slid his face mask off and breathed in deep, desperately trying to imprint his scent into memory. One year. Just one year and Eren would be moving back to the States. He’d come and live with Levi in the city and they'd never have to be apart again. They just had to make it  _ one goddamn year. _

After a moment that felt far too short, Eren pulled back, removing his mask as his hand lingered on his arms. He pressed his forehead against Levi’s and he could feel his warm breath on his face. It felt so good to simply be close to him, and he just wanted to stay there forever.

“I’ll call you every day,” Eren breathed, his hand coming up to brush against Levi’s jaw. “And I’ll even try to visit you if I can.”

“Maybe I can come to you,” Levi said, just as softly. Traveling was never something he’d been interested in, but he would take off work and travel across the world in a heartbeat just to see him again. Even if it was for a little bit, he’d do anything, go anywhere, just for Eren.

“I’d like that.” Eren pulled back, smiling down at him. But it looked far too sad and seeing it made his chest feel tight.

“Stop looking so sad, I don’t like it.”

“Right,” he huffed, schooling his expression into an angry scowl, his lips forming into a thin line.

Levi snorted. “Now you just look constipated.”

Eren laughed, and it was like music to his ears. He was going to miss hearing it filling up his small apartment. “That’s better,” Levi smirked, his heart-melting at the sight of Eren genuinely smiling and it eased the aching pain in his chest.

Eren’s grip suddenly tightened on Levi’s jaw as he leaned down to press their lips together in a heated kiss that tasted like needy desperation. As their lips parted and their tongues swirled together in a familiar dance, Levi forgot all about the people drifting around them, forgot about the cab driver waiting for him, forgot that Eren was slipping from his fingers as the seconds ticked by. The world around him simply melted away as Eren poured his heart into their kiss, as he expressed how he felt through his physicality alone. No words were needed. Levi already knew exactly how he felt.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Eren said in a breathy voice as he broke away, pressing his head against Levi’s forehead once more.

Levi simply stood there with his eyes closed as he reveled in the warmth of Eren’s touch, the feeling of his skin on his own. He wouldn’t forget this feeling, even after Eren was long gone, he would always remember it. 

“No, it isn’t,” he said, his eyes sliding open so he could gaze upon Eren’s beauty once more. Just one year and they’d be together again. He could do it.

Eren smiled at him, kissing him softly before pulling away and grabbing his bags. He hesitated for a moment, eyes lingering on Levi’s before finally turning away. 

“See you later, Eren,” Levi whispered, his throat tight as his eyes burned into Eren’s back. 

He watched him walk away, his heart heavy in his chest—watched as he stopped at the door, glancing back at Levi one last time before going inside. And as he disappeared, the unshed tears burning his eyes finally fell, leaving wet trails on his cheeks. With shaky fingers, he wiped at the tears, taking a deep breath to compose himself before getting back in the cab.

After a minute of standing alone in the drop-off area, he finally slid into the car and gave the driver his address. As they pulled away from the curb, Levi stared out the window, wishing he could catch one last glimpse of Eren before he drove away but he was nowhere to be seen. He sighed, sinking into his seat as he watched the airport vanish into the horizon.

The drive back to his apartment made him feel incredibly lonely. The passing city felt cold and empty without Eren at his side, the millions of people living within the tall buildings meaning nothing to him. And just as he was about to let himself slip into the negative thoughts he was trying so hard to fight against, his phone buzzed against his thigh. He reached for it, Eren’s name lighting up the screen, making his heart flip inside his chest.

**Eren 9:46 AM -** Miss you already

Levi couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face or the warmth that filled his heart. He clutched his phone to his chest, leaning against the door as he stared at those three words over and over again. If such a simple sentiment over text could brighten his day so easily, then he’d be able to get through this. He had to. He loved Eren too much to not give their relationship everything that he had.

Once he was home, he stepped inside his apartment, the wide-open space feeling far too empty without Eren’s vibrant presence lighting up his living room. He wandered inside, his body carrying him to the couch where he had shared so many evenings watching shitty movies and T.V. shows with Eren at his side. 

Sinking into the cushions, he laid down, grabbing the blanket that Eren had left lying in the corner of the couch. He wrapped it around himself, relishing in the familiar scent that washed over him as he curled into the soft fleece. It smelled just like him, and he buried his nose into the fabric, letting himself get lost in it. 

And as Levi laid there, wrapped up in Eren’s comforting scent, he was hopeful that things would work out for the better.  _ Just one year _ , and then they could be together for good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!!  
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated~  
> Also, I would love to hear from you guys on whether or not you'd like to see a sequel of this. I have some ideas for a continuation where Levi and Eren deal with their long distance and I'm tempted to write it. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com) for more ereri content (:


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